One night stand for husband and I pay for it for life

September 21, 2011

My husband had a one night stand years ago, (Again she said she was on the pill, told him not to worry using anything,then nine months later baby) To cut a long story short, he paid for the child for many years about £400 per month. He then married me (4 years after), she then stopped him seeing the child (because I was the problem) I was always very nice!! We then had our own children 2 boys. My husband then some years after lost his job, so the CSA payments stopped. (she was not happy) He then gets another Job was told by CSA that he has to pay £800 per month, Even though he has 2 children and a wife to support. The CSA gave us no option, we was living in poverty (unlike the single mother that had never worked in her life) She also had a good lifestyle pissing it up every weekend!!!!!

What we did?

I moved out! (On paper we are separated)

My husband claimed the child benefit (I signed it over to him)

Phoned CSA and told them he is the sole parent to our 2 boys!

Made sure the Council Tax Bill was a single person.

Outcome :-

£0.00 per month.

Obviously this is not ideal, however my children can now eat! I still take my boys to school and pick them up ( so my husband can still work) I make sure I only sleep over 3 times a week. As far as CSA are considered I have access to see my children! On paper we are separated! I like to see them prove otherwise!! Answer? I’m doing everything right so they can’t!!!

Note to all women that do this for a living, there is always someone better than you hence why you are SINGLE!!!!!!!

So be nice!!!!


23 Responses to “One night stand for husband and I pay for it for life”

  1. martin dell on September 21st, 2011 2:29 pm

    lol brill so well planned and so well said hats off to u my girl csa scum beaten again and destroyed another family

  2. rach on September 21st, 2011 3:49 pm

    what you should have done was stay in your house as well, you can still be separated yet live under the same roof as that is what i will do if things get too much, well done for beating the scum

  3. Cat Woman on September 21st, 2011 6:28 pm

    I hope the CSA Sercurity Unit are not reading your post ( I think there are by the way). after all your hard work it would be a shame if the PWc was advised to appeal or apply for a variation order on the grounds of diversion of income or even worse a criminal compliance team bring a action under section 14 for suppling false information.

  4. John on September 22nd, 2011 10:48 am

    Well done! What a sad state of affairs when you have to go to such lengths to beat a ‘not fit for purpose’, ‘shambolic’ system created by the political elite and run by incompetent oafs!

    They still don’t listen OR get it! Those who are unfortunate to be involved with this ‘failed’ system are being scammed. People over-paying, people under-paying and people not paying at all. How is this fair?

    Invented arrears to boost government coiffeurs.

    The serious fraud office should raid courts and CSA buildings, gather evidence and start to arrest staff, managers and executives who are involved in what can only be described as a money laundering scam!

  5. Vic on September 22nd, 2011 11:23 am

    Well done on protecting your children from this monstrous agency with their offensive, incompetent and educationally sub normal staff.

  6. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 1:23 pm

    Well……..Like John said the system is just rubbish! Some women are getting too much and some women are not getting enough! It has split us up…… your better off single in the UK. Thing is if he left me I would have had to make a claim to the CSA as well as her, My husband would have no money whatsoever! How fair is that? On the other hand I would be entitled to £700 per month in Tax credits, My wages which is £1000, plus Housing benefit which is £400.00, plus the CSA money which would be about £400 per month! Did you know the CSA money is disregarded, they only take into account if the women is on income support! So I would have £2500 per month to support 2 kids…….. that’s an income of about £40,000 per year! Now tell me why the hell any women needs that to bring up 2 children? It’s bloody crazy the government really do look after single mothers & rightly so for some women, but why make another family so poor to make another women rich? Give it 10 years and everyone will be single parents it’s the new generation!

  7. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 2:09 pm

    Also…. my husband is on the old CSA; this is why he pays her so much as they take my income into consideration.
    My husband income is £28,000 mine is £14,000 so together income of £42,000.
    Okay sounds allot………. however we have two kids not entitled to tax credits as we earn too much, get no childcare money unlike if you’re a single person!
    Okay our rent was £950 per month, Our Childcare Costs was £857 per month as I did work full-time, our Council Tax was Band E £160 per month.
    Husband’s Income £1900 take home after Tax, mine was £1000.
    As you can see not that well off!
    Okay why did I work? Because I work for the NHS good job & I enjoyed it!
    We excepted we would be only £200 per month better off with me working but decided to do it anyway……… the way I see it £200 per month is better than a kick up the arse. If we didn’t have childcare I would not have been able to work! Well……..unless I went single!
    So…….you now know the sums……..CSA said £800 per month to her!!
    As you can see, if you can do the math…..It doesn’t work out! They really should look at both parents when working out there sums…….. Load of crap!!
    All I wanted to be was a happy married couple, I understood about his one night stand baby before I got with him, but never ever dreamed making a life with a man with one child would be so bloody hard!
    Are men not allowed to be happy and make just one mistake and move on? Obviously not!
    I think women that lie and decided to have a baby without the man’s consent should pay the price!
    Thing is….. If a woman gets married before having a baby and the bloke decides to be an arse and F***s off….. The court would order him to pay for her until they divorce and to pay for the kids until they are 18….they wouldn’t need the CSA!!!
    So ladies marry the father before you have a baby, that’s what marriage is used for….. Think of the Kids they don’t deserve this crap!
    Only another 8 years and we will be free of them!!!

  8. John on September 22nd, 2011 2:13 pm

    Lola is right!

    I have no objection in paying to support two children who don’t live with me. What I do object to is a system that is geared solely ot the parent with care!

    It is for parents to make financial arrangements for their children. NOT a poitician NOT a useless civil servant!

    ….and then there is tax credits! Money paid to people who have NEVER paid tax into the system, where I have paid a lot of tax for 35 years. They are getting money for nothing.

    It is breeding a free-loading state, where people expect something for nothing all of the time, and where I have not claimed a penny in benefits for 35 years. I and others have worked our bo–ocks off, and those who don’t pay into the system must be laughing all the way to the bank!

    I am being targeted as a criminal and a deadbeatdad. Branded worse than a Criminal by Cameron (the coke head from the Bullingdon club). he is the criminal for allowing a not fit for purpose shambles ruin decent, honest peoples lives!

  9. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 2:31 pm

    Totally agree John …….. they just want to have a go at the father! We might move yet……. another country mind 🙂
    Take care and don’t let them bring you down x

  10. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 2:39 pm

    Also to the women that said about me supplying false information……..I haven’t! I have moved out and I can stay over 3 nights a week!! So stick that up your arse!!!

  11. rach on September 22nd, 2011 3:49 pm

    im on your side lola as im in same boat with my husband, if things get bad we will fake spltting up as well except i wont move out as you can both stay in same house and be separated. i did not mention a jot about supplying false information so re read and see im on your side!

  12. rach on September 22nd, 2011 3:50 pm

    And for record i totally agree its a messed up government that allows this shit pit agency to destroy families! well done for beating the scum .

  13. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 3:55 pm

    Not you Rach….. I have a pending one from someone called cat women, telling me about providing false info, and I may get caught out talking on here via my ip address!

  14. Vic on September 22nd, 2011 7:31 pm

    Lola your IP Address gives away only the local exchange to which your router connects and many computers can share an IP address. You can change your IP address simply by leaving your computer off overnight or using one of the many proxy services available. The only way to trace you is via your ISP which requires a court order to provide this data which means you would have to be suspected of a serious criminal offence. Cat Women is winding you up, she is a bully, who knows fuck all.

  15. martin dell on September 22nd, 2011 7:57 pm

    lol well said vic
    if anything what she doing is protecting her family from the csa rapist you were pushed in a corner so you used the system against itself very smart realy.

    and even if they did try and come after you what you have on them plus ur rights they would like turds on sticks in court
    ur living proof that csa destroys familys not helps them

  16. Vic on September 22nd, 2011 9:39 pm

    Nicola you are an inspiration! Can you produce an advice sheet for other women who have children under attack from the CSA?

  17. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 10:50 pm

    Thanks Vic, I asked my husband about that comment and he said the same thing as you (network engineer). Advice sheet? well…. all I can do is state what we did! The reason you have to get your husband or partner to claim the child benefit is to prove he is the sole parent to the CSA, you need to do this first they will check . I simply wrote a letter to the child benefit office stating that we are no longer a couple & that I’m unable to support my children financially! With that my husband has all the rights regarding claiming money for our children.(not like he can claim anything anyway) My husband then phoned the council tax and told them I have moved out! I now stay at my mothers 4 nights a week…. I do this because of the council tax as my husband now gets 25% off without me 🙁 You can have someone stay at your house for no more than 3 nights a week with council tax,tax credits & CSA without the need to register them as living with you! Like I said before this is not the best setup but the only way we can manage! Don’t quote me but…….. as soon as your partner is a single parent and claims a benefit (child benefit being one of them) the CSA class it as zero or you might pay £5.00 per week! Hey it’s worked for us……..but i’m paying the price not being home every night! But I will do it for my kids and husband as I love them very much, he is a wonderful father, shame they did it to us, we would be okay paying £200 per month, but oh… they want £800! Nobody wins now, which does make me feel guilty for the single one night stand mother however she has had plenty over the years… wish they would make a fair system that everyone wins and See’s there paid for kids!!!!! It might not work for everyone,… would of thought it depends on what he earns, however like I said it did for us! Just make sure it’s done properly and stick to the rules, then no nasty surprises around the corner……. by the way we go out like we would normally etc…..I don’t give a toss about that…..they can report as much as they like…..all they will see is me having access to my kids and leaving 4 nights a week! Don’t know how long I will stick it…. but if all fails he can give up his job and it will be zero!!

  18. rach on September 22nd, 2011 10:53 pm

    so sorry lola i assumed you meant me as i was only female comment as cant see cat woman , she must be csa worker as they bloody patrol this site, did you get her email address? if so print it on here that will shut the silly cow up!

  19. Lola Nicole on September 22nd, 2011 11:12 pm

    No….. It’s pending on this site when I logged in today, was written 2 days ago! Don’t think they are allowing it for some reason? I really don’t give a toss anyway, nothing she can do, I don’t bloody live at home!

  20. Chell on September 23rd, 2011 4:29 am

    I’m very sorry to hear you have to live like this. Its bloody wrong.

    We had a similar sort of problem. We tried a couple of different things. One of them which may be something you would want to think about for the future is this one.

    I worked, my husband didn’t.

    We had my wage, which was not included in CSA2 calculations. My husband didn’t have a wage so the only income he had coming in was the child tax credits which for two children was £89 a week. I had to pay £5 a week on my husbands behalf CSA. This worked well for awhile until I got ill.

    I do not work at the minute due to illness and we are on JSA as if my husband worked, we simply cannot afford to feed my children. The CSA take too much from anything my husband earns and then take the working and child tax credits too and we end up with about half the income we have on JSA!

    As soon as I am fit, I will be back at work again but my husband is staying home until the CSA has ceased. We have no other choice other than to split up.

    Once again, I fully understand the need to look after your own children and the lengths you will go to to do that and I’m very sorry that this country feels fit to put people in this situation. PWC either get their benefits and tax credits or earn too much to get them, NRP have them taken away and are somehow meant to look after children with whats left. I fail to see the logic in this this.


  21. Chell on September 23rd, 2011 5:06 am

    Also, wouldn’t a new csa claim put your children’s father onto csa2? 🙂

  22. Brian on September 23rd, 2011 4:48 pm

    That’s a great idea and just shows how bad the CSA is I would suggest strongly that anyone with issues also CC’email your MP and Counsillors and make them bloody work for the tax we’ve paid. My counsillor told me it was a nation issue and not local. I explained that if the CSA threatens me with taking my house, making me unemployed and homelsess, claiming benefits THEN it is a local issue. The local council has to pick up the TAX BILL for looking after me.

    We voted for a civil non-dictatory government instead we got MP scroungers changing the law when its suits them, and destroys the fibre of family life by inventing a discusting Govt Dept.

    Its killing parents!

  23. brett on August 24th, 2013 11:04 am

    Lola… I’m dip sampling the CSA Hell posts and have just read your story for the first time. Yes your situation not ideal, but your playing the CSA and the piece of pond life your husband had a one night stand with at their own game.
    I had a one night stand in similar circumstances back in 1998 and the CSA have made my life hell ever since. I’m on CSA1 rules, so my partner can’t move in and certainly can’t afford to have children with her.
    Your story has certainly made me smile and cheered me up !

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