Not seen my daughter for 16 years, someone else has been her dad while I pay

March 5, 2013

No doubt you will have a great many replies to this. My case centres around the fact that although i am classed as an absent parent, through no fault of my own.

My ex wifw left me a took my daughetr with her somw 16 years ago now, at the time i went to court and was granted access to my daughter, however everytime I would ariive to pick my daughter up she was never there, I returned to court on several occasions and was told that I had access and the court could do no more, they did however give me a welfare officer who I arranged to meet and she would accompany me to see my daughter – again there was no daughter at the arranged place and my self and the welfare officer waited for an hour and there was no sign of my daughter. The CSA subsequently became involved, and have been robbed by them eversince.

I have no right of appeal with the CSA and have refused to pay them on the grounds that my wife left me to be with another man,I have never been allowed to see my daughter through no fault of my own. I have had my bank account emptied on Christmas Eve by the CSA.

I have no chance to go to court with the CSA. I did get the opportunity to go to an independant tribuneral as i was paying the motgage on our marital home which was in joint names, but this ended in the same way, the lady representing the CSA admitted there was no ruling for my case and low and behold the independant trinueral found in the CSA’s favour. My ex wife then went to court saying she wanted to sell the property as her name was on the mortgage, because of the CSA I was unable to get a motgage or loan to buy her out of the mortgage, so the court said the property should be sold for no profit, my wife was placed in charge of the sale as I could not afford a solicitor, and the legal aid system does not take into account the CSA deductions from my wages.

My ex wife then sold the property for a substantial profit again against the court order, at this time I was paying £600.00 per month directly from my salary and was told I was expected to be able to live on the same amount of money as someone on benefits, so it was not possible to go back to court to get half of the profit from the sale of the property, I advised the CSA that the profit from the sale of the property should be devided in two and my half deducted from payments I had to make, they said no – nothing to do with them.I have recently applied for a mortgage and was told the reason i cannot get a mortgage is because of information held on my credit report, I advised the lady that I had joined Experian to see what the problem was, I spoke to Experian who advised my credit rating was fine, however when I went back to the mortgage company I was advised – off the record – that my creit rating would show as good however they understood that I was financially linked to the CSA.

I am sure this is a direct breach of my human rights. I also get very upset that for 16 years I have not been able to see my daughter yet she and her family regularly have pictures on a social media site of her with dad.(Not me). I have a son who is 21 and i have seen him anytime i have wanted to I have paid for him and given his mother money whenever she has asked for it, even last week hwe came and spent the week with me and we are very close, his mother is understanding and when the CSA knocked on her door she understood the impact she thought it would have on me and my sons relationship so advised then she got pregnant on a one night stand and did not know who the father was.

The CSA has effectively destroyed my life, I can say honstly that I have been to a dark place over all this recently to the point of trying to commit suicide, I am currently still on anti depressent medication and under the close observation of my doctor

Mark Hudson
Persecuted and not absent by choice father


  • lisa says:

    @ Dave Darby, unfortunatly the law doesnt work like that, and as we all well know the PWC can do exactly as she pleases regardless of who she is hurting,
    It should be no access no money, some women care more for there own felings than that of there kids, spiteful and selfish

  • John says:

    I represented myself at the family court, and the judge agreed with all of the provisions of my contact with the children. The mother was told to sit down and be quiet by the judge.

    Contact was to be every other weekend. with no interference from other parties, who were named in he order.

    Within 3 weeks, the order was broken, and I wrote to the court and judge concerned, only to be told to seek legal advice and bring the matter back to court costing £2000 in legal fees.

    Not at any time did the court or the judge concerned hold my ex in contempt of court, nor did they do anything to bring her to book. I gave up, and told my ex that if sheand others can’t stick to the rules, then don’t bother at all, as she was upsetting the children, and causing me problems.

    Therefore, i haven’t seen my youngest for 11 years. I have seen the other child (now adult), because of a contact request through family.

    Aside from this, I have had to suffer 13 years being trapped in a ‘not fit for purpose’, ‘shambolic system’, where incompetent staff at the CSA have repeatedly botched my cases up as an pwc and an nrp, at one stage dumping £6,500 worth of debt on to me, because of their maladministration.

    I contact then regularly with new information regarding the status of the last child in the system, and they don’t even investigate, as it appears that they want me to be trapped in their system, so that they can continue to screw more money from me. I am an easy target.

    I will be seeking restorative justice, when the government and CSA are exposed, for breaching human rights, and imposing flawed legislation on me. Treating me worse than a criminal, in what is a personal and private family matter, that should have been dealt with throught the courts, with professional, qualified people, and not grade 1 office clerks.

  • Carrie says:

    Hope you are successful, John.We have been treated similarly by staff who don’t even seem to understand the ‘laws’ they are quoting to us.They listen to a pwc & treat what they say as gospel(which isn’t always the case!)Where is the justice in that ? Some staff don’t really know how to apply the criteria in individual cases & you often get different answers when the same question crops up ! All we want is a fair hearing.Why are the CSA encouraging private arrangements when they aren’t honouring ours? I think there will be a lot of cases like this & a lot of people will be eligible for recompense.

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