Not all mothers tell the truth and not all fathers are a waste of space

September 7, 2012

My partner has a daughter with his ex partner and she dopped him into the CSA. Although the mutual agreement between them was when they split that he would pay all the joint debt off and if his daughter needed anything then all she needed to do was ask. Until the debt was paid he wouldn’t give her any maintanance (she was fine by this).

She then told the CSA he lived at his parents house even though he had lived with me for over 6 months and she knew this. The CSA wanted back payments as he hadn’t got in contact with them (as he hadn’t got any letters because they were all at his parents) Long story short CSA agreed with my fiance he wasn’t to pay any back payments. Before she dobbed him in he had their daughter 3 nights a week this was ever since they split up (2 years) then she dropped the nights and would only allow him upto 1 night a week.

Although we told the CSA he had her over the 52 night threshold they would never believe him as his childs Mother stated that he didn’t have her at all .. even now the CSA will not believe us. We have sent dates as we kept a record of when he had her and as soon as the payment was set .. she increased the nights .. CSA still wouldn’t believe us. Things got so bad with access that he took the Mother to court and we know have her back 2-4 nights a week, 2 weeks in hols Christmas/New Year/Birthdays etc .. need to say the Mother hasn’t contacted the CSA to state that there is a court order with over night contact.

The CSA state my partner earns some rediculous amount as they DO take into account overtime .. which is not guarenteed but he has to pay it. They don’t take into account that he pays into his pension and union so he has been paying a rediculous amount of money to her each month and still is!

This father is willing to fight for his daughter in Court, is happy to pay for her, happy to see her, happy to buy her clothes/shoes/toys/holidays abroad and provide a home for her when she stays with us and there are fathers out there that do not wish to even acknowledge their children .. friends have claimes through CSA and the CSA state they can’t track the fathers down .. I managed to track my friends Childs Father down on facebook in 5 minutes I knew where he lived and where he worked .. CSA thats an idea isn’t it!!

Treat people fairly and take into account Mothers are selfish. We know have a court order for access and even when the Mother was telling you he never had his daughter we have statements for court from her which states differently!

Not all Mothers tell you the truth and not all Fathers are Biological waste of spaces (BWOS)!


  • jay. says:

    Write a strict letter of complaint and send recorded to the csa and then go and see your mp and get it sorted. All csa care about is filling their pot by using nrps that do pay and screw them even more. Good luck

  • Sally says:

    as Jay. says, you should involve your MP….
    my partners ex reduced the amount of overnight stays he had with his kids to less than 52 so that she would get more money. She told the kids that he didn’t want to see them as much (lie) and then she told us that the kids didn’t want to come and stay over with us (lie)…. His daughter was upset to begin with and told her dad (my partner) that she wanted to stay over with him every week and he agreed with her…. the mother was furious, and over time prevented the kids from staying over every week (with one excuse or another) and now the daughter says she doesn’t want to stay over every week…. whether a court dictates she should or not does not mean that she will… the mother has manipulated the whole situation to get as much money as possible….

    You are 100% correct in your title…. the sad fact is that some mothers are a waste of space and most fathers are honest and tell the truth…. unfortunately the CSA are not interested in that …. good luck!!

  • Bill says:

    I recently split from my wife and despite sending in 12 months wage slips, was assessed on a single one as I’d had my annual 3% pay rise. Funnily enough that one wage had 69 hours overtime in it (for the month) and as a result an getting raped to the tune of £688 a month. The morning after I was kicked out she phoned the CSA, child tax credits and changed the locks!!

    My wife denied me having the children 4 times the week they assessed me and they believed her. Told them I never have them overnight, but mercifully the CSA awarded me one nights access. How considerate of them. So with discount £688 a month. Having to get 2 months wages sent in with the new pay rate and no overtime to get reassessed.

    Just like Sally above, my kids desperately want to see me yet my ex keeps telling the kids I don’t want them and won’t allow me even one night a week. She’s deliberately spreading the access to get it lower than 52 nights to increase her money. The real joke in all this is nowhere is the mothers income taken into account. My ex earns more than I do, gets £188 every 4 weeks in child benefit and my maintenance payments aren’t taken into consideration for tax credits so she gets those too.
    Me, I’m left with £50 a week to feed and cloth myself and look after my children. I’m in an impossible position where I want more access to my children but as the CSA won’t discount me I honestly cannot afford to feed them

    Seriously considering either giving up work all together or even going abroad as I cannot cope with only seeing my kids at her whim. I only get them when she works an afternoon shift(to increase her earnings) on a Saturday. Got next to no time with them all through Summer.

    CSA have told me they’ll reassess my wages but even if it lowers I won’t get refunded, but if it goes up, they’ll make me pay arrears!

    Also , to get a further reduction due to access, I’ll need a court order to prove it!! She didn’t need one!

    The biggest mickey take is I paid my ex £600 maintenance the day before the claim started in respect of August and this was ignored so my ex got £1288 for August, well over half my usual salary

    CSA and it’s staff can rot in hell.

  • gareth1967 says:

    I know exactly how this feels as I’m in the same boat. It seems to be all about the money, I would be happy to pay more than I do if just a small percentage was actually spent on my kids but to have to put up with her lies and the CSA basically taking side, it’s driving my crazy. I will never give up on my kids, no matter how many obstacle she puts in the way, but come on CSA be neutral at least.

  • Ann says:

    CSA are crap full stop! We have our court order and even with that my fiance’s daughter stayed with us 3/4 times a week funny enough as soon as he dropped his maintanance his daughter didn’t want to stay after staying for a year! She now doesn’t stay court order states if she expresses wish then she is to be encouraged no encouragement from mother as normal! Funny thing is its all about money but mothers new partner doesn’t pay for his child they can’t afford it even though self employed and the only worker in their household his ex told by CSA he’d have to pay £5 p/w seriously?! Just cause he’s self employed and he’s the only worker in their household!! Clearly something not right there! Think of a fairer and better way for child support!!

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