No contact with me daughter and I miss her so much

May 7, 2011

Well i think most of the guys on here are right. They aren’t dodging the CSA because they don’t want to pay. Its mostly because they can’t afford too. If you’re like me and haven’t been allowed to see your own flesh and blood for 10 years why should you have to pay. It seems that financially you have to support your child even if in your childs eyes you don’t even exist. My ex brain washed my daughter when she was 4 years old and discouraged her from seeing me even though i had a court order for contact. 8 Years passed without any CSA intervention and I assumed that my ex didn’t want my money. Now I am getting letters and attachment of earnings thrown at me for a daughter I haven’t seen in years. I owe about £10,000 and the last job I had they left me with £178 per week to live off after taking about £200 of my wages. I had to pay rent and bills with that and I was immediately -£50 pound a week worse off. I calculated that I would be better off not working so I was forced out of work because of my ever increasing overdraft.

My ex has never sent any pictures of my daughter to me since we split 10 years ago and she has also moved 70 miles away and has a new house a new man in her life and has a good wage. I am left to struggle on the dole worried that if I work again I will be working for practically nothing when they find where I work.

The only good thing I found is that it seems to take them a few months to find out were you work so if you can get short term contracts all the time you can dodge them.

I miss my daughter so much and wish I was her father again and then I would be happy to pay but I have missed her upbringing and had no fatherly relationship with her so I’d rather go to jail than pay my selfish ex.


3 Responses to “No contact with me daughter and I miss her so much”

  1. KMcQ80 on May 8th, 2011 2:48 pm

    Don’t ever give up on you daughter.
    As she gets older she will view both of her parents through her own eyes.
    Her mother for what she is and how she poisoned her daughter’s relationship with her father.
    And you.
    How do ypou want your daughter to view you?
    Just don’t give up you love for your child,keep sending birthday and Christmas cards but open a savings account in her name and add to it on a regular basis.
    If you do find some time with your daughter,get her to talk about herself,school,social life and her future.

    Best of luck Mark Antony ;sometimes life serves up crap.
    Make sure you are judged to deal with that crap in a positive and dignified manner.

  2. jasmine on June 17th, 2011 9:35 pm

    Its a shame that other women degrade themselves to the point of taking out of the mouths of others and another persons family for their own personal gain. There is no reason why a court should neglect one household for another. My dads a veteran and i recieved 285 a month for food and clothes and thats all i needed. I didnt need to get my moms hair done, or nails did, or pay for her brand new outfit. This is a disgrace, and most children would be appalled to find their father being stripped of all necessities to live off on for the expenses of a precarious female. Dont worry though… our countrys known for kicking the people who already have nothing. My father is a WW2 Veteran had 50% of his income stripped every month and lost his house, job, and second wife. Why would u make a person feel guilty for trying to survive? If ur a christian dont worry we will all have to stand accountable for the greed and abuse we iinflict on others. Thank you to all the other women who dont abuse the system but if ur spending that money on urself ur just as bad as the father who dosnt pay and u r validating his non payment

  3. taz on June 1st, 2012 4:22 am

    im in the same boat i have a 7 year old daughter that i dont see or speak to when she was born i had a job rented house everything was fine then things didnt work out once she turned 1years old i moved back home an my ex moved back to her moms with my daughter not seening her after that day losing contact with her ,her mom avoiding my calls police getting involed knocking my door arresting me saying im harrassing them i finally gave up.i started to recive letters off the csa saying i owed them £5000 from the day she was born till aged 3 and still on my case today taking £70 a month i already provided for a hole year i have my recipts etc but not singed tried to explain but they dont listen i was doin well working 45-50 hours a week earing just over £900 a month but csa wer takin 4-500 a month off wich then put me off working i now work 16hours a week and eanr practually nothing its depressing and i hate it i attemted to over dose my self but that didnt work since then ive neva seen my bank account with over £400 its depressing an i know most moms would say you got the girl pregnant so support your child but in my point of view why should i work my bollox off and hand out money to my child for new clothes etc if i aintt gunna see her in them.dads should have thier side aswelland most people will say find a job with better pay bollox a jobs a job its hard looking for one these days. my life has gone boring to be honest i cant afford to treat my mrs treat my self too scared to increase my hours or do over time because i know i will not see the money i have debts up to my eyeballs its horrible!demading money letters horrible life.sometimes i wish i never kids thats how much its downing me im 26 years old and have nothing to show for the years to come cant save money because i dont earn enough to 2nd week after payday im skint for a hole 2-3 weeks but hey no one cares about dads always moms that get the credit but i think dads should have their side aswell
    thanks for reading !
    taz birmingham

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