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everything 🙁
I feel for you mate……..
If I’d have had my time over, my ex would have been the one who moved out and I would have had my son whilst I screwed her into the ground.
it really is disgusting that any government allows this to happen to anyone in this day and age. nrp’s are being penalised for relationship breakdown sometimes!
Hi, i also sleep on sofa in my 1bed council flat [ which im very greatful for] while my ex lives in a big 3bed house, i still pay for my 9yr old daughters clothes because her mother cant be bothered to do anything & why should she, she married , he works part time , she works part time, when he finnish at 11am he goes & work cash in hand, now with bennifits as well as my money they clear on average per week £600+. 7 now ive just been informed i have no parental responcerbillity & i will have to pay £200 to ask a judge if i can be my daughters daddy WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPEND HERE??.
Hello
I can’t add that much to this sad story but possibly a little hope or light at the end of the tunnel.
I too years ago give my ex wife everything for the benifit of my two daughter’s and i was left with nothing and i mean even down to the point i slept in my car for about 6 months in the middle of winter because i will not put onto people and having to shower at the gym every day.while my ex wife lived it up and told people i paid nothing for my kids even though the c.s.a were taking me for as much as they could get out of me.
I did have one thing though determination not to be beat by the c.s.a or her and eventually i managed to get myself a rented flat but had very little money to furnish it,in the living room i had a two seater cain seat to sleep on and a portible tv the rest of the flat was empty and no carpets BUT they were mine.
I never took credit on ( credit or loans is a bad idea when the c.s.a is on your back) and just bought second hand if and when i could afford it but everything i bought was mine.Gradually over the years you get to replace the second hand for brand new items,as your place starts to take shape ( Rome wasn’t biult in a day neither were flats furnished).
Besides no matter how bare your flat is your children come to see you not your flat, if luxuries were what they were after they would of stayed at home,be gratefull for the time you get to spend with them.
So you CAN bounce back from having nothing to eventually having a nicely furnished flat you can call your own,the only thing now is after seeing the situation that you have just come from don’t loose it.
Only in my case the c.s.a has made me some what distant from the normal way of life and now after having lost everything i owned on more than one occassion due to giving relationships another go which didn’t work out and back to square one again, now after having bounced back once more,so after 19 years of living on my own,i’ve got myself booked down for the next 19 years on my own,my motto now is “the easiest way to get out of a situation is don’t get into it in the first place”.its worked for me over the last 19 years and i’ve never looked back and never had to start from scratch again.
The above story/comments brought tears to my eyes. Its an absolute shambles. The public in general hasn’t a clue how this horrendous organisation operates. All they are aware about is people who not pay. The vast majority hasn’t a clue that they leave so many people including second families living in poverty.
Just look at like this, when the child(ren) hit 19 or leaves education before then then pwcs like these will be fucked….its wrong but karma and kids ain’t stupid, they will learn…might be worth telling kids when they are old enough that child benefit can be directly paid to them.
Quote; What’s wrong with this picture?
It’s had to say, not knowing all the details…
Does your ex live with a partner or on her own?
chall ~ afairercsaforall
Agree with Jay. Some pwc who receive benefits, work part time, get maintenance, afford huge houses and their luxuries but then the child reaches an age where the pwc no longer qualifies for benefits. These are cut off after the start of the next school term. What then happens to their luxuries? Karma right enough, In all honesty I do not like to see anyone struggle but the Government create horrendous situations with maintenance. I am not against payment of maintenance at all but the way the CSA work, their underhand tactics, delays and allowing arrears to accrue it is all just ridiculous.
Keep fighting, it’s the only hope any of have!
I have stated before that we finish paying for my husbands daughter in July this year.The mother will be nearly £500.00 per month worse off.CM stops,CB stops,Child Tax stops,Housing benefit/poll tax benefit decreases.All these benefits because she claimed CB.The ex cant get the daughter to help her claim back these benefits because she is nearly 19 years old.The daughter does not benefit from her mother getting this money so will be going to work herself.The last CS we gave the ex she spent it the next day on her son who is not my husbands on a E Book. His daughter said her mother is not happy that she is going to lose all this income suddenly in the next 4 weeks and might have to move house.It didnt bother the ex when we got into debt paying her so I wont lose any sleep seeing that the tables have now turned.