My partner found out he may have a 10 year old child, why should we pay now?

April 16, 2013

I’am writing as a wife of someone who has recently been informed of an illeged 10 year old child, me and my husband have been together for 5 years and I’ve known him for 7, everything was hunky dory in our life until the CSA sent him a letter claiming he was the parent of a 10 year old child and asking rather blatently how he would like to pay for the child, so we obviously phoned them up and found out what the situaton is, turns out that this woman was a one night stand from 11 years ago, after racking hs brain he had a vauge recollection of a phonecall from the woman and never heard from her again until now.

Now our world has been turned upside down with DNA tests and the stress of all of this, what i want to know is surely this must be against human rights? at what point does this become a mans responsibility? there was no joint decision to have a child like we did with both of ours, so what happens? when a woman makes the decison to continue a pregnancy agaisnt a fathers wish or without their knowledge surely they should shoulder the responsibly on their own as a man has no say over what you do with your body but yet when that decision is made he will have to finacialy fork out? I can’t see the fairness in this, what would happen if the shoe was on the other foot and my husband deciced randomly 10 years later to find out if that 1 phonecall was true and search this woman down like she did us and to find her happily married and try demand a DNA test? what would the CSA do then? NOTHING!!! He would have no rights what so ever yet they can pick apart my families finances?

I am sorry but I’m not willing to lose money that belongs on my girls backs or in their bellys for some kid we’ve never met or known nothing about!! I just want to know why there is not a timescale on how long these things can be left for as i think 10 years is too long to now start pursuing this and secondly what is a mans role in the whole thing? yeah you can pay but you have no say because its not your body? well surely that makes things a woman’s responsibility?? seems like Britain tries to be politically correct for everyone except to it’s hardworking citizens and so some stranger on benefits is entitled to 15% of my families income?? any info on this matter would be much appreciated as if the DNA results come back saying my husband s the father then we’re thinking about taking this to court!


  • Lisa says:

    Welcome to the shit world of CSA, they care not whether you become homeless or skint as a result of some tart deciding to have a kid off her own back, i hope he isnt your hubbys then you can tell the CSA to get lost, i think its wrong that women can get away with this sort of thing, i agree its not your problem, the women had the kid after all this time she has no right to your money,

  • Emma says:

    I couldn’t agree more. It takes two to tango, but only one to make a decision about whether to bring a child into this world. I know men should use contraception, but so should women. Women have a choice in whether to become pregnant (there is such a thing as the morning after pill), they also have a choice in whether to continue with a pregnancy. Men have no say whatsoever and then have to pay for children they didn’t want in the first place. I also agree that there should be a time limit on claims like this.

    If the DNA test proves the child is your husband’s then he will have no choice but to pay for the child. If you claim Child Tax Credit for your children this will also be taken into account, so basically you and your children will be paying towards a child that has absolutely nothing to do with you. The CSA are a joke. They destroy families.

  • chall says:


    IF the child is proven to be your OH’s, a calculation by the CSA would take into account his income, working tax credits at 100% if he is the higher earner or at 50% if your incomes are equal and any child tax credits your household receives.
    However, the calculation should also receive a reduction for the relevant other children living in your household at the rate of 15% for 1, 20% for 2 or 25% for 3, prior to the 15% liability for 1 qualifying child being worked out.

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