My ex is threatening and I don’t feel safe – can the CSA help?
Hello, i am 34 weeks pregnant and i have already stoped my ex from seeing our son. He is in loads a trouble with the police and local people; he is 19 years old and lives with his nan in a 2 bed flat. He dosent work and is on job seekers allowance but he has no interest in seeking work. He is always fighting and drinking n tells me he is takeing coke, although i have never seen him under the infuence of it.
I have asked him a number of times to stop wot he is doing and get a job to support his son. i have a 15 month old daughter and i rent a 3 bed house. I am only 18 and i pay for most stuff for him, the house and kids n recieve nothing back we have been on and off for over a year now and he has got worse he turns every thing around on to me in arguments. When i fell pregnant he had 2 other kids on the way but thay was both misscarryed by seperate girls.
We have countless arguments about him changeing and geting a job i say i will leave and he says he will take the baby off me and take me to court so i stay around. I dont feel safe with things he does n tells me n feel any minute my kids could be put in danger but he gos mad at me n refuses to listen when i try n talk to him.
I finaly had enuff when he sent me pictuers on wepons telling me people are getting it an he might be geting sent down then when i dont react he flips at me. I dont no wot i can do anymore me and my kids are not safe with him doing what he dose and he will not leave us alone as his mum and dad have money he says they will take my son i feel so lost and clueless can the csa help me?
7 thoughts on “My ex is threatening and I don’t feel safe – can the CSA help?”
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The csa are only interesting in making illegal money gains nothing else.
if you have fears about the safety of yourself and/or your children then you should contact the police.
The CSA’s remit is to collect child maintenance and they cannot make decisions on access issues etc
true dan chevailer they only want to nick money from people that already pay, a total waste of guv money the csa is or shid i say the guv are shareholders so they love the illegal money they nick. as with ur ex he will never pay csa and csa wont stop him giving trouble
Whilst at the station, please report the CSA for Theft from millions of people, by obtaining money by deception.
The CSA should be changed so that access and maintenance go hand in hand, at least then mums cannot hold there children hostage over money, They are thiefs nothing more, the more people that fight for whats right IE fairness and equality and a simple amount made payable to the mother regardless of income maybe this CSA state would stop, Its no wonder so many women have offsprings they cant afford just to run to the CSA, what the CSA forget is we the taxpayer pay there wages, they work for us, and we need to remind them of that daily,
I am sorry to hear about your ex. However it needs to be said that if you can’t support your own kids then don’t have them. don’t rely on a father to provide, especially as he’s so young and so are you.
Have you stopped to think maybe he would like to be living in a house paid for by the state and not with his nan?? Maybe he’s angry about that. Maybe drugs and drink are his escape. Not everything is as clear cut. By stopping him see his kids that’s adding to the problem, and punishing the kids by depriving them. A child contact centre has staff and can be a safe supervised environment where the kids can see their father.
by the way I do not in ANY WAY condone violence or threatening behaviour, nor the threat of such like to another person, especially a pregnant woman!
YOU can walk away, and he can still see his kids without you even having to see him if you use a contact centre. So the kids get to see daddy and you dont get stressed. You will only get 5 a week from him if he’s on benefits, so is it worth it for all the stress and agro, which is making the situation worse. Concentrate on supporting your kids financially and emotionally, and become a strong independant woman…..if he gets a job and still dosen’t pay then just spend your efforts looking after your kids….he will soon come to learn that you reap what you sow..don’t bad mouth him in front of the kids, let them make up their own mind. No matter WHAT you think of him, he’s THEIR dad. Please dont forget that.