My ex has everything paid for, and now £300 a month from me as well

April 9, 2013

I started full time employment in June last year and was contacted from the csa about a month later. I gave them all the details they have asked for and was told that my case would be sorted out by a certain time (January). We are now into April and guess what my case is still not been sorted out.

Okay`I have changed jobs again to a better paid one and the csa were informed when this happened. But again this was only about a month ago, I have offered my ex payments in the meantime and she refuses to take them and believe me they are decent amounts.

Now csa have informed me that the arrears on my case will be a major amount which they say is down to me not paying anything. How do they expect you to pay when your ex refuses money and they cant sort your case out.Surely if your ex refuses payments then she should not get any arrears as its their fault really.

I phone them every 4 weeks just to be told my case worker will contact me and surprise surprise they never phone which then leads to me contacting them again and costing me a fortune in calls.

I have contacted my MP who lets be honest is about as usefull as a wet cardboard box. Now looks like I will have to go bankrupt because the arrears will be too much for me to pay at the moment.
My ex is on all the benefits under the sun and under the new rules whatever I pay her will not effect her benefit.

So basically she gets her rent paid, council tax paid, and god knows what else plus she will get over 300 a month from me when my case gets sorted out where is the fairness in all this.

Dont get me wrong obviously I have to pay for my kids but its about time the government looked at this out of date agency and changed things. Honestly I could go on and on……


  • Julie Archer says:

    you should have set up a direct debit and paid her what you had offered. The mother obviously doesnt need the money if she is refusing it. From what I understand if you go bankrupt you will still owe the money. My ex runs his own businesses and his salary is capped at £2,000 a week because he earns about £5,000 a week. He rents a country residence at a cost of £4,300 a month, no mortgage no attachments there….my case with the csa has been to court and I have won an award but after 18 months I still do not have 1 Penny from the csa. If you are employed they have got you unfortunately 🙁 seems you men get screwed, but me a women with a clever ex looses everything even the home we live in and he doesnt care. The CSA are an unfair entity of the Government and make a mockery of the Government too.

  • Carrie says:

    Surely Income Support ,Housing benefit,Council tax ben,tax credits are for people on a low income to give them a liveable income. If the pwc is doing 16 hours of work gets the wage from the job ,all benefits of being a single parent- free school meals,prescriptions,optician,dental care & free school trips AND gets to keep ALL CM-how can that be right?How can a pwc get more several hundred pounds a month MORE income than an nrp who does 37 hours of paid work BEFORE the CM is taken out?How is that FAIR when since April 2010 ALL Child Maintenance is disregarded yet the family of the NRP who don’t even qualify for any tax credits(they are worked out BEFORE the CM is taken out !!)can’t afford to live. I cant think how it’s fair.Asking tax payers to give benefits to pwc’s who are already being well looked after by the CSA to the detriment of honest working NRP’s who are barely left enough to SURVIVE. When a divorce is finalised the judge has to be satisfied of the children’s arrangements before the Decree Absolute is granted.Often the nrp has to leave the marital home in the best interests of the children & therefpre have to start all over again .Renting is more expensive as well & the nrp cant raise another mortgage while still tied to the family home.Its not cheap to rent and provide a place big enough to have the children overnight.Thats another area that need looking into -some pwc are reducing over night stays to prevent the reduction of 1/7 for each night children stay over .The NRP aren’t being believed when they tell the CSA about the overnight stays- they say they have to ASK the PWC!! Let’s leave the financial arrangement to the Judicial system who know what they are dealing with as put before them -NOT this UNCARING AGENCY (CSA) (Sorry, ALICE but that’s how it comes across…)who ‘assume’ any NRP is trying to avoid paying before they even get into the conversation properly & ‘take the side’ of the ‘poor’ pwc.
    Thank you.

  • chall says:

    Quote Stuart Chmylowskyj ‘Now csa have informed me that the arrears on my case will be a major amount which they say is down to me not paying anything. How do they expect you to pay when your ex refuses money and they cant sort your case out.Surely if your ex refuses payments then she should not get any arrears as its their fault really.’

    Could you have put the amount to one side and paid a lump sum off the arrears that have accrued due to the CSA’s delays processing the case.

  • Gary says:

    This is the classic c.s.a procedure of asking for all your details and requesting various paperwork off you in which to complete your assessment.
    Only as we all know who have gone before you is that the delay in assessing your case is purely for to allow arrears to build up on your case.
    Wouldn’t even be surprised if the next time you hear from them that their will be some paper work requested by the c.s.a in which to complete your assessment missing (disappeared) meaning until they receive it your assessment cant be completed and requested again which takes more time while you were under the impression that your case was being dealt with.
    this is how all our cases started with requesting of paper work for assessments, the long time lapses and we all being under the impression our cases were being dealt with then the famous disappearing paper work syndrome so no doubt by the time they have finished fixing your assessment you will of acquired enough arrears for your first liability order like we all did.
    We are talking from experience and know the style the c.s.a work when dealing with assessments honest its like a genetic foot print the same style of events every time in which to get a liability order on you.
    The c.s.a prefer liability orders because they come with all kinds of legal powers they also prefer bailiff companies to collect their fixed arrears as you don’t pay the bailiffs then you can expect a visit from the Men In Black.
    This is why they don’t like simple arrangements between you and the c.s.a as you could break these at any time meaning they have no hold over you but using liability orders and collected by bailiff companies they can just sit back and laugh all the way to the bank.
    This is how the c.s.a get away with their file fixing because with you being new to the c.s.a and have no idea of what they are up to other than its taking them for ever to assess your case, but we have all been their done it and got the liability order because we also waited for the c.s.a to assess our cases when we were new to the c.s.a.
    Your ex is probably turning your money down not because she doesn’t want it but the usual human weakness of greed as in she possibly thinks that when the c.s.a do rig your case that she will be awarded more money than what you were offering and back dated.
    Your lucky she turned your money down my ex took all the money I gave her every week which was a considerable amount, and it wasn’t till I was at court that I stated the money that was given every week, and to my surprise she replied she had never had a penny off me, needles to say the jaw dropped.
    Also yes this dummy had no proof as I always paid cash as you wouldn’t expect the mother of your kids to lie seen as the money was for my kids and her “wrong”
    Due to this I was told off the judge that if I hadn’t had a job I would be going through that door instead of that door, yes because of her lies that’s how close it came, which as you can gather came as a complete shock to me.
    Lucky though that I left through the right door that day as after being in the dock for quite some time and being basically grilled by her solicitor with his just answer the question yes or no in a raised voice every time I tried to defend myself if it had been the other door they would of been picking him up off the floor, never been to prison before but if your going to go then you may as well go for doing something.
    So basically never be so trusting that you pay cash and always pay her through a bank or cheque so that you do have proof.

  • Brett says:

    Couldn’t have written your last comment any better myself Gary. Reading on here I believe the magic figure to be £3,000 in arrears, when they can get a liability order and or baliffs onto you.
    It really is beyond belief how they operate. I loathe them with an absolute passion.

  • John says:

    What happens between parents and children is for them to sort out through the courts with professional legal assistance, and not be left to these ‘f–k muppets’, who ruin peoples lives by using fraud and corruption.

    The day will dawn when this shower of shi-e will get what’s coming to them!

  • Sally says:

    Well said Gary!! There is no greater incentive than money and greed…. There are some genuine PWC who contact the CSA out of desperation but by refusing the money this PWC CHOSE to let her child go without!!!

    However, i am sure we will get some idiot commenting that its his fault for not putting the money aside .. hind sight is a great thing but im sure, the author spent the money on bills and other essentials that the NRP has to pay regardless of the unrealistic amount the CSA demands….

    @ John… the idiots who work for the CSA should be sent back to school to learn manners and respect….

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