My ex found the loophole and CSA fell for it
I left my husband when my children were 6 & 8 due to an abusive relationship.
Following the divorce I recieved full custody of the children and he was instructed to pay through a consent order for 12 months and then he stopped.
I placed it in the hands of the CSA who demanded very little from him (self employed, brother his accountant) and managed to get sporadic payments out of him.
I gave up trying and wiped his debt, I didn’t want to see my children upset through this unescessary fight. I stuggled on my own for 11 years.
When my youngest turned 17 in Dec 2012, the same time my full costody ran out as she is now classed as an adult, my ex husband piled on the pressure to my youngest daughter to go live with him. She has mental issues due to his treatment, she self harms, she is under mental health and supposed to be taking anti depressant medication.
She moved in with him, social services and the police state there is nothing I can do as she is an adult capable of making her own decisions.
CSA state she is child and I have to pay for her.
After not paying and seeing me struggle for 11 years whilst they were children he has found the loop hole of where everywhere apart from the CSA she is an adult and apparently there is nothing that I can do.
9 thoughts on “My ex found the loophole and CSA fell for it”
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You say “When my youngest turned 17 in Dec 2012, the same time my full custody ran out as she is now classed as an adult, my ex husband piled on the pressure to my youngest daughter to go live with him. She has mental issues due to his treatment, she self harms, she is under mental health and supposed to be taking anti depressant medication” ……. It seems odd that you blame him for her Mental Health issues, could it not be your fault, and that is why she has run to her Father…… just pay up!
No Loophole here
Sounds like a desperate attempt from a bitter mother who failed her children . Seems the child suffered mental health from the time she spent with you and your trying to blame Dad . If any abuse had occurred with dad then the relevant services would intervene . She chose dad not you , get over it ….. well done dad …….
Some ppl can be rather nasty on here can’t they..maybe that’s not the whole story.would you like to be judged on part of a story? Thought this group wAs made to gain advice not to lynch ppl sounds more to me like a few bitter dads .why else the nasty comments
It does sound a bit odd that she would go to live with her dad, if he was the reason for her mental state. When did she start self-harming? Surely not at 6 when you had full custody of her? Did you go to get any help from anyone, or social services? If not, then you are hardly faultless in your daughter’s current mental state.
And if she did have such a mental state, that has been recognised by doctors, and you had pushed for psych evaluations and they agreed that he is the cause then you could have stopped her moving in with him.
That sounds more a sensible comment Andrew, there’s obviuosly more to the story than told, but ppl shouldn’t be having a go at her for thinking it’s not fair she now pay when the ex didn’t seem to mind not payin for all those years.where is the fairness .csa are not fair.both parents should pay equally for their children .csa calculations don’t work like this thou and they should be got rid of instead of making ppls lives a misery
karma…unbelievable, blaming the father for her childs mental health issues. Just pay up, we fathers and a few mother have for years, decades…just pay up.
I cannot believe the comments I have just read on this page. The bitterness at having to pay for your own children’s upbringing astounds me!! It’s more like mudslinging at the other parent rather than doing the right thing by the children. No wonder kids become messed up…. Do the right thing by finding money for your daughter, be the bigger better person.. He never did it so as a good mum you must! And bitter fathers, just get on with it, children are expensive to raise stop putting price tags on their heads and just be parents. I am raising 3 children alone.. My ex has opted out of paying and has hidden his finances and pays for a new child… I continue paying for everything and working 6 day weeks, but at least I know I am doing right by my own children. So stop and think of them and not the war you have with exes!!! Good luck
Sounds like the shoe is on the other foot for once and you don’t like it. This makes me so happy, so you should pay for your child, shame on you