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Best to deal with it together and stop the threats. You may think it’s not effecting the child but your so focused on 1 thing that this can be overlooked. Give the guy a chance. Come to an amipacable arrangement which suits both of you. If it fails say after 3 months the use the csa.
He can stop payments but all that will happen is it will build up a debt owed if he won’t be reasonable then no reason CSa can’t do a doe
Excellent advice from Adrian. Take your ex up on his threats. Maybe let him buy your daughter her next winter coat, school uniform or whatever. It will be good for her to see her Dad treating her for a change instead of always you! After all she doesn’t see the monthly amounts he pays, so this will be something tangible they can both enjoy. I know I did! I doubt if it will affect his CSA payments. If he stops his standing order the CSA will send him some reminders and if he doesn’t respond take the Deduction of Earnings Order route anyway, so why would you initiate it and appear to be the nasty one?
And why can’t the CSA do a DOE?
Sorry predictive text they can do a d of e direct from his tax free pension
Talk to each other and try to come to a arrangement that keeps the CSA WELL AWAY. they are arsholes and only interested in bleeding anyone of cash who has split with partner and kids are involved, they are just a stealth tax that exploits break ups.
Tell your husband that it makes no difference if he buys anything for the kids, he will still be expected to pay full cm, the CSA don’t care, if he don’t pay,they will force him and that will only create resentment and drive a wedge between you both and the kids suffer, just like my ex who went to the CSA, I can no longer see my daughter because of what CSA rob from me each month and I blame her for that. Instead of coming to me and sorting out a fair payment for us both and leaving me a little to spend on my daughter, but she’s a greedy money grabbing skank that is only interested in how much she can make out of me for having a daughter.
Keep the CSA filth out of your life’s.
Gonk
I’m not bashing, just offering another perspective, but I have said so many times, why can’t my ex provide a list of my childs expenses each month and I pay them, bus pass, for example, I am not for one moment suggesting that this is you, but if I see my ex going out for a meal, smoking weed, cigs etc, all I think is that he’s spending my money, and it does make me very resentful.
Yeh but surely that’s out of his money earned or otherwise, the biggest problem is like you say the perception that any money paid isn’t being used on the child but it is. Add up the total cost of bringing a child up and it will be way more than what the Nrp pays the pwc.
For a lot of Nrp too they try to use maintenance as a means of controlling and dictating to the pwc which is ridiculous.
I am going to be balanced here. You are both behaving like playground bullies and its all bullshit. no he cant do that. S1 CSA act 1991 makes that clear. However you can call in the CSA the single most incompetent government body ever created. then he can avoid them and hate you. if he quits his job you get 5 per week. then what of the kid watching his family explode around him.
Yeah you both have guns. no need to shoot each other eh?????????