My daughter lives with her grandparents, why should I still pay her mum?

April 10, 2013

I’m getting a deductions of earnings order on my wages and I’m looking for some info if you can get this stopped.

My situation is .. I split with my cheating ex 8 years ago and I always paid money for my daughter directly to my ex. Then I started full time education for 3 years so did not pay anything for her but I still got clothes toys etc for her when she needed them. Since leaveing full time education I started employment I had only been with my employer a couple of months when I started to get this D.E.O and they said my case with them was now 3 years in arrears for my time in full time education I tried to explain to them I was in full time education during the 3 year period and was not in any position to pay what I had been paying my ex before I started in education the csa were not interested when I said I could prove to them the dates that I started education to the date I finished I was told by them that they would investigate this on there own but a year later I still have herd nothing back from them they continue to take arrears from me aswell.

Also my ex I believe is committing some kind of fraud as my daughter lives with her grandparents but my ex is in receipt of child benefit so the ex can use this to claim money from the csa for my daughter who does not live with her. So the ex works full time employment claims child benefit receives tax credits and csa money so obviously she has it all she has plenty of money and does not pay a penny to her parents for the child I try to explain this to the csa that she does not keep the child but they say as long as she is claiming the child benefit she can claim the money from the csa it’s a total disgrace me and my family struggle from month to month paying arrears and maintance while trying to pay for our house car and our own kids we have. And now to top it all off my exs mother who keeps my daughter is saying my ex hasn’t had any money off the csa this year so far although its coming off my wages every month the exs parents wants me to pay her direct for my daughter because the csa aren’t paying the ex the money just now. I have said I’m happy to pay them direct and get rid of the csa and there D.E.O but is this possible ? I wish my fucking bitch ex would get caught for all the fraud she’s committing the justice in this country for fathers is fucked and should my ex not be paying maintance also for my daughter if she is living with the grand patents ?


  • wilf says:

    Paul:- Yes it is possible to pay your ex direct. Get her to call the CSA and say so.Make sure you keep a record of all payments made.If by SO make sure it referenced as child maintenance, never pay cash without a receipt.
    Report suspected fraud to the child benefit agency (HMRC).

  • Andy says:

    It’s makes no difference I’m afraid. My son (now 19) has lived with his grandmother for 2.5 years. I have informed the csa and child benefit and they have said she is doing nothing illegal. She can nominate someone to house our son and still claim! My son earns £200 a week of his own money too but as he does 12 hours a week at college as well I still get money taken from my wages until he’s 20. Yes 20! And when I asked them to look into her circumstances, guess what? They reviewed my wages and took another £70 a month to give to her! I wish something could be done but I have been banging my head against a brick wall for 19 years….

  • chall says:

    Paul Eckenby,

    I completely agree with Lewis Morrell Masculinist comments.

    You should be aware, regardless of comments relating to fraud, Child Benefit rules do allow some cases to carry on even if the child goes and lives elsewhere.

    It may also be possible for the Grandparents claim the Child Benefit themselves and claim child maintenance from both yourself and your ex as non resident parents.

  • Mark Fagg says:

    System is a joke, I’m 70, wife is 68, we both have state pension and I get very small RAF pension. 16 yo grandson lives with us. We feed him. Travels on train to college, needs cloths etc. And been told can’t claim a penny. His father has five properties and lucrative business and won’t pay a penny to support him. Perhaps we should’ve come ashore in a dingy at Dover or arrived from Afghanistan. This country stinks

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