My children go without to fund ex girlfriend’s lifestyle

January 5, 2011

I have 7 kids (yes I know should have got a TV) I split from the x-girlfriend in 1998, she instantly hit me with the CSA (we were together for 6yrs) I then met my wife, we have 3 boys and 3 girls together who are my world.

We split up beginning of this year and as soon as the CSA found out (wonder how they got this info) they instantly hit me with alsorts of court orders and stuff. While I was with the wife my CSA payments were nil because of the children although I owed backpay but because I was out of work due to an injury and didnt tell them they kept charging me.

I know live over 35 miles away from the kids as I moved closer to work to try and cut my costs, I pay a lot in rent and it costs me over £150 a month to pickup the kids and feed them.

The CSA wanted £600 a month (bearing in mind this is for my eldest boy) from back in August but I challenged this and got it reduced to £250 after getting my MP involved (although all she did was forward letters to me from them). On Christmas eve I received a letter from the CSA informing me that they had since took me back to court and they now want £600 a month from me again.

The last time I called them regarding this I told them about the other kids and the superviser herself told me that the other children weren’t their concern, although they are right here but the other children are still my concern and I still need to pay for them. The ex wife wont go through the CSA after the strain they put our marriage through was unreal, just everyone else on here.

So for you the CSA workers/supports (I am not denying I should pay) who are on here or read this….. Is it fair that the CSA leave me with £30 a month to live on to fund the the ex girlfriend in her lavish house and her lavish lifestyle (her husband is on 3 times my wage) at the expense of the other kids?

Comments

  • Juliet-Amber Jolliffe says:

    Whether your second ex wife likes it or not – the only way the maintenance will be fairly distributed is if she goes through the CSA. I would normally say avoid the CSA like the plague but because your first wife went through the CSA, it's your only option. They would normally only take 25% of your earnings and then as you have so many children, share that out amongst both partners. They can take up to 40% if you have arrears.Good luck.

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    It is outrageous what the PWC and the CSA do to familys…It is not right and it is dam right evil but this is what they do. Go back to your MP tell him you want a letter putting into the ICE…

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    The thug is the state picking pockets of the father in order to give money to the selfish greedy woman, the mother who is the thief. The mothers who use children as hostages in order to feather their banks. All this is because the ""CHILD ORPHANING AGENCY""Allow most PWC use their children in this way. They are not fit to have a child. The judge in our last court hearing called them GOLD DIGGERS.

  • Peter Anderson says:

    This what they do all the time. And this is why it has to be closed down. They have no interest in you, your family or the children at all! You split in 1998? Are you on the "old" rules? Do I also read correctly that you have 7 kids with your ex-girlfriend and 6 kids by your wife? Or are some of them not yours? Or is 1 by the ex-girlfriend and 6 by your wife?You say the CSA took you to Court, did you go? What was the application for? A Liability Order? And, how have you been paying up to now? Is it by Deduction of Earnings Order? Or, was it voluntary payments?Are there arrears involved and if so, how much, and from when?And, how often do you have all the children? This is why the CSA does not work and can never work because it does not take into account the income of BOTH families and their lifestyles!

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    7 Kids I think a different bed would be better…LOL

  • Phil Marsh says:

    Or a TV 🙂

  • Pauline Brown says:

    Dolphin you had me in stiches of laughter, stop it Phil stomach cannot take anymore, laughter hurts too mucho lllllllllllmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaao

  • Sarah Ambrose says:

    If you make 1 child or 7 children, then you should help maintain them. That is a fact. It is not of your concern where you ex moves on to next. If she married a millionaire, that does not make you any the less responsible for YOUR children! I totally agree tht the CSA are absolutely despicable, the way they work (or dont) and the way both Parents with care and Parents without care are treated. The entire system is beyond a joke, however that does not negate the fact that if a man has children (or a woman) then the children must be raised and paid for equally if possible between the two parents. End of rant lol sorry

  • Tracy Jackson says:

    Agree with Juliet -Amber. Ask ex wife to use csa for an assessment then pay ex girlfriend through them so she cant sod you about…then come to an amicable agreement (I live in a world of hope) with your ex wife.

  • Charmaine Leworthy says:

    You don't seriously consider the money you've paid is funding her lifestyle do you?? Surely her husbands healthy salary has been doing this and supporting your eldest child for some time while you were nil assessed. Unless she bought her lavish house and only lived her lavish lifestyle since August then its not reasonable statement to make. Be happy that your eldest has been so well provided for whilst you've not been in a position to contribute.Having 7 children, however much you love them, is a huge drain on anyones financial resources and as long as your ex wife doesn't make a claim the jobsworths at the CSA will not reduce your assessment or take into account your other 6 childrens needs. I am not saying for one second this is right, but unfortunately its a fact.Can you're ex wife not go through the motions with them, she will get the lions share of the total maintenance calculation because of the number of children involved. If you cooperate with them you can pay by standing order direct into her bank, work out an acceptable figure between yourself and your ex wife and transfer the excess funds back across to yourself. It only gets messy and difficult with them if assessments and/or income is disputed or payments are made via them. Or better still, deny you've split up, ask your ex wife to corroborate this, her kids need providing for too and you can't do that if 40% of your income is being taken away from you. If you've already confirmed your split, tell them you got back together.

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    I understand what you mean. She does not need the money. Your children you live with do. They should come first. CSA should be for if you are in need of it. EG Your children are going without or they have no nice shoes. But greedy PWC use it to get back at the ex. And it is all wrong…

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    And just don't bother to read that dogs…That dog shit is stuck well.

  • Peter Anderson says:

    This what they do all the time. And this is why it has to be closed down. They have no interest in you, your family or the children at all!

    You split in 1998? Are you on the “old” rules? Do I also read correctly that you have 7 kids with your ex-girlfriend and 6 kids by your wife? Or are some of them not yours? Or is 1 by the ex-girlfriend and 6 by your wife?

    You say the CSA took you to Court, did you go? What was the application for? A Liability Order? And, how have you been paying up to now? Is it by Deduction of Earnings Order? Or, was it voluntary payments?

    Are there arrears involved and if so, how much, and from when?
    And, how often do you have all the children?

    This is why the CSA does not work and can never work because it does not take into account the income of BOTH families and their lifestyles!

  • Charmaine Leworthy says:

    and on and on and on…….

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    Oh my god that bloody mut is here again. Get a bath…

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    She is a Jack Russell always nipping at ankles. They say the owner looks like the dog…

  • Dolphin Keeley says:

    Poor thing needs the RSPCA. It has mange. Never bathed in mths…Best keep my dog away…He may catch it.

  • Paul says:

    Sorry I may not have explained the situation properly.

    I have 1 boy with the ex-girlfriend who is claiming CSA and 6 with the ex-wife who is NOT claiming CSA.

    I thought I was on the old rules but today when I rang they said I had dialled the wrong number, apparently I have been moved onto the new system. They took me to court for a liability order last year but I didnt go.. the marriage was at rock bottom and that was the last thing on my mind at the time (stupid I know). They have issued a DEO on my salary and told me the beginning of August that it was to star that month.

    The arrears I have according to them is 12K for the whole term with only 8K being on the liability order. The reason it is so much is because in 2003 I went on the sick due to an injury at work and didnt go back to work until 2007. I didnt inform them because my employer had already told them I was off on SSP (big mistake). I also have proof that the employer told them because its the file that i requested from them (and its very big lol).

    I have 5 children every weekend or at least 3 out of every 4.

    In August I had the local MP helping me but it seems all she was doing is forwarding letters between us. I did however manage to get the payments reduced from £500 a month to £250 but on Christmas eve i received another letter stating I had to pay £568 a month. I called them again and have had it reduced to £225 a month.

    At the beginning of every month after my bills are paid I am left with around £300-£350 a month to live on. take the £250 out of that and thats all I will be left with at the beginning of next month to pick up the kids £100 a month and also feed them while they are here.

    They can not close the CSA quick enough if you ask me, I have been lucky and my mum and dad have been able to help out so far but they are both on pensions and I cant keep running to them everytime I want to pick the kids up.

    Something needs to be done about the CSA and quick I think… In the current climate men aint going to be able to support themselves let alone any kids. I must admit with my run-ins with the CSA I have been lucky as you know there are people out there a lot worse off than me and I really do sympathise with them and their situations.

    Hope this explains it a bit better, there is a lot more information and goings on than this as you would expect.

    Paul

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