Lied, Manipulated, Cheated now forced to pay – no negotiations

A few years ago in a dark part of my life which I would prefer not to remember I was unfortunate to meet a certain female that took my fragile state of mind and twist it to suit them.

In basics, I was 18 recovering from depression and anger which I experienced through my school years I was trying to make a go of my life working hard and a friend of a friend just started to flirt and make there way into my life, before I knew it, it was more than a flirt completely casual and protection was always taken.

as time went on this person began to treat me well, you know look after me, gave me what felt like a family, housed me etc.

it wasn’t long after this that they started borrowing money, she and I had joint accounts (my account) she had a phone I paid for and I was always lending money I almost felt completely comfortable about the money I earnt was “our” money.

As time went on the favours wanted of me kept rolling in and it became a bit of a strain on me, as I tried to distance my self a little although felt “in love” she started playing games with my mind, cheating but coming up with such horrific stories about her past and that she was seeking councilling which gave me the assurance that she was just disturbed.

I add to this the stories of an ectopic pregnancy that prevented her ever giving birth, stories of rape etc. unfortunately it later transpired that these were all lies and that she was actually cheating on me during these sessions.

Demanding me to support her through these tough times and having massive rows with her own family, getting her kicked out on to the street and moving into a “refuge” she wanted to be protected and I felt like I was the only person in the world who could help as I manage to retain a relationship with the family – all very confusing I appreciate.

Anyway, this is digressing a little but I feel relevant later on.

She went to london to a “medical centre” to try and help her be able to have babies again, during one of these occasions I needed to get a hold of her, she was too embarrassed for me to ever come and support her, so I called her best friend, a best friend that always knew everything she was doing.

This friend said she thought she had gone to her sisters.

Feeling a little concerned that she had lied to one of us I did a bad thing and noticed her train tickets on the side, they were booked for a station right next to her sisters house.

I avoided confronting her at the time but did ask where her appointments were and all she could tell me was south london (no where near her sisters).

The doubt in my mind started to twig at this point – baring in mind I had all sorts of my own trust and security issues which she was manipulating.

some weeks later I get a call in the middle of the night, or rather she gets a call, shes drunk and doesn’t wake up and its a boy, at 3am and they leave a voicemail I check the voicemail out and its some guy begging for her to come back to town and how much fun they had last weekend.

furious and knowing she can’t go to her parents and also over the limit to drive I sleep in another room when I wake in the morning I take her back the refuge, she denies everything at this stage by the way.

some weeks later we start talking a bit and seeing each other again (bearing in mind we had been in a relationship for 12 months when this “situation” occurred)

Now that I had lost all trust I wasn’t happy with her in the slightest at all the texts she kept hiding and one day she left it on the side, I checked through it (my own bad I know) but I saw the texts dated the same day she said she had one of her appointments and it was from her sisters boyfriend saying that her sister was out and to come round – I won’t go into the explicits of these messages.

furious I left and refused to talk to her for a few weeks, then one night she calls me to say she’s really messed up (bringing up the conselling sessions back into it and that shes seeing another specialist in another town)

So I drop her off for a 40 minute appointment and she won’t let me drop her off outside cause she didn’t want me to know.

I didn’t hear back from her until 12 in the evening where shes in a complete state and drunk and apologises but it had brought up so many raw memories that she just couldn’t bring her self to see me.

she says shes in a taxi on her way, obviously unhappy and totally confused I know shes got no where else to go and I let her stay the night – that’s all I would allow her.

when there she tried making out which I just refuse.

some weeks later she explains that somebody I knew was also seeing this specialist and when I found out who this was I went up and asked him which he said I didn’t know she was an item with you which I was confused. when i explained the situation he realised said they had been at it and really sorry as hadn’t realised.

never the less I refused to have contact with her for a few months.

Her family started calling me to see where I was and why I wasn’t supporting them at football, boxing and helping out and I felt encouraged to help (I don’t know why and this is my own fault) but I started to stay in touch with the family and kept my “upset” with their daughter very clear.

After some time she comes to me and says lets talk I know i’ve been a B~~@@ etc.

I wasn’t happy but we agreed that she was just a rebel and a nasty piece of work.

She basically offers me “good times” on a plate as would rather stop playing the field and have security, time had gone on by this stage and I was just experimenting with the whole sex thing.

dumb enough I took her up on her occasional offers and one day I come back and said to her I just couldn’t continue and that I needed to move on with my life.

She drops the bombshell that she’s pregnant much to my shock after all these appointments in London she had been having some of which I thought were still real from some of our “revealing talks about how she treated me” she admitted to playing around on several of the occasions but had promised that some of these were real.

She had also maintained the she cannot get pregnant and they are trying to see if things like IVF would have worked.

at one stage we went to a family planning centre where she tricked me, blatently but being male and not knowing anything more she had the implant, she told me to control her hormones due to been unable to be pregnant that she had these hormonal problems.

so I knew when we were being occasional that there was no way on this planet that she could possibly get pregnant A by the fact that she said she couldn’t and had built this story and B that she had the implant.

However much to my distress she reveals she’s had the implant removed.

having to deal with the situation in hand and saying about how messed up she must be to do all the things she did and admiting that I must have made so many mistakes I said that I couldn’t deal with a child at 20.

She didn’t know and I said I would support her either way but we would never be a couple, I would be a father if she needed me to be (bearing in mind my head is all over the place I still wasn’t “sane”).

she then turns around and says she doesn’t want it either.

So she tells me she has to do it within a certain time frame and that she has to book it and the appointment was several weeks away etc.

The only appointment she could get happened to be the date of my grandads funeral and that it was the last date that she could possibly get it done before moving onto bigger surgery which she couldn’t face.

so much to my distress I can’t travel up north to see my grandad off instead I am forced to support her at this day.

She goes in at 9am and at 4pm I am still in the waiting room, the receptionist refuse to tell me anything.

at 6PM I get a call from her to say shes in a park, she’s crying, she’s distraught etc. saying she did it and couldn’t deal with her self and how much of a bad person she was.

Knowing it must have been difficult we went home together and I supported her for a week or so, that was until her parents showed me a scan dated after the abortion date.

devastation sets in and I pretty much went off the rocker, I couldn’t bare to be with her, after everything, the dealing with that I had agreed to an abortion, something I was never “pro” and felt sick that we had done it to find out that she never went through with it.

the deceit in her and what she had done.

She then goes on to tell me she couldn’t do it and that she wanted to do it just she wasn’t ready and was going to get it done again later.

I challenged her with that statement about my grandads funeral and missing it and she comes out with this I made a mistake on the dates etc, don’t worry I had finally woken up to what I tit I had been and refused to speak to her with her lies etc.

2 weeks later a phonecall comes in to tell me she had it done and that her friend from earlier mum had helped her, this time she sounded serious, had her friends mother confirm she had been there etc.

So i let her come back, because her family would literally tear her to pieces if she had an abortion, not happy about it I say okay you can stay, for a few days but you must leave and leave me a lone and get help and that I was going to need help after this situation.

And you know what happened next, another scan dated after the event is mentioned to me on the phone from her family.

At this point I don’t answer her calls, I don’t speak to her.

having to deal with the situation in hand and not wanting to make some one a single mother I get back in touch and say I will support her and that I didn’t want to be with her etc.

time goes on and she’s buying clothes etc. and I start supporting and buying things cause the family keep saying that I am a tight arse not paying anything etc. towards the child.

So I try to support her by buying things, then the conversations start about payments.

they started asking for £600-£700 a month, which is ridiculous for some one on 24k a year and I knew that, I said £200 was reasonable since I would be buying things for the child at the weekends and that she could in the week etc.

this escalated out of control in a conversation and I told her to go through the CSA, she turned round and bit me so hard that I started bleeding on the back of the hand. Her mum threatens me with her husband (nasty piece of work) and I just drive off and said I will pay, I will look after the child on weekends just stay the hell away.

a month or so later I am in Germany on business and I get a call from the family giving me abuse I say I am going to call the police.

Upon returning the country no longer than a week of being back I am arrested for rape and paedophilia etc. my house is raided and all my computers, equipment etc. taken.

I spent 14 hours in a cell.

Upon the interview I explained my entire case to the officer in charge who basically said he believed every word but he would have to follow up and wait on the forensics.

a week later I get a call to tell me the investigation has been dismissed to collect my things and to forget about the situation and apologises from the leading officer on the situation.

since then I have never contacted the mother, now nearly 3 years down the line she’s applied for CSA and they want £250 from me a month.

They are not interested in discussing the circumstances, I’ve had the DNA to check it was mine.

I am now forced to pay for this child that I never see and was tricked and messed into.

not saying that I was perfect I should have woke up a lot sooner I didn’t really realise what I was doing and was in a sense “brain washed” into believing these lies.

My own fault on that part, but a woman who chooses to lie about being able to be pregnant, then lies about 2 abortions shouldn’t have a right to any financing, she chose to have the child without me and ruined 3 years of my life, she is now trying to financially affect me and working out her benefits she’ll actually have more disposable income than me and she doesn’t work.

A SICKENING system which has been exploited to the max I am sure some of you will think this is a great story, unfortunitly for me it’s true.