I’ve lost everything for a child that isn’t even mine

May 21, 2013

I have been paying for a child through csa for the last 6 years, I had doubts from the moment the child was born as she had mixed race features and I am pale and ginger I was very young and believed the mother when she insisted she was my daughter. I tried to do the right thing and started a relationship with the mother for the childs sake. 3 months in I couldnt shake it off that the baby wasnt mine as her features of black curly hair, very olive skin and almost black eyes became apparent.

The relationship broke down as the mother said if I wanted a DNA test I could just leave as i obv didnt trust her. few months later I recieved a phonecall from csa explaining as my name was on the birth certiicate they were presuming parentage and I wou7ld need to pay maintanence. I was very young back then and I tried explaining everytime they called I was not the father and should not have to pay for this child they advised me that unless I proved that she was not my child I would be liable for the maintenance. This went on for several years at one stage I was working 3 jobs earning around £1200 a month I was lucky if I saw £400 to £500 a month of that as CSA took 40% of my wages from each job.

I took the mother to court for dna and and if she was mine access to the child as she had stopped all contact since had asked for a DNA test we went to court the judge granted access in a contact centre and I would have to reapply to court for a DNA to be granted. However the court case had taken a year and had been very costly during this time I had met somebody else and set up home with her and our son.

We suffered extrem financial hardship due to csa payments and court costs court wasnt an option any longer. I had access and tried mutually agreeing with the mother for a peace of mind test outside of court she was agreeable at first but on the day of the arranged est didnt turn up or answer phonecalls and messages and again stopped contact. Me and my now partner went on to have another son and the ffinancial strain was just to much we lost our home and our now being forced to live seperately with parents. I finally after 6 years of pleeding with the csa got them to agree to do a DNA test January this year my DNA sample was taken at beginning of march. The mother was contacted to provide a sample but failed to turn up for the appointments on 3 occasions CSA threatened her with court proceedings and she finally attended on the 3rd of May. The results came back 3 days ago and as I knew all along I am NOT the biological father of the child The DNA states it is geneticly impossible for me to be the father as the genes that the child has inherited do not match any of my DNA.

Finally I thought we had closure How wrong I am despite proof that the child is not mine CSA are still taking money a they cannot close the case until the mother of the child will confirm my identity by photograph ( a worry is she will deny its me to delay things) CSA are also claiming I will only be refunded maintenance payments from January as they have no record of me denying paternity befor then (convinient)… I have lost everything because of the csa and have been unable to financially provide for my 2 boys I finally thought we was getting somewhere and finally have closure and. I’d be able to pick up the pieces of my family and start again does anyone have any advice on what I can do or has experienced something similar what was the eventual outcome

Comments

  • derek miller says:

    Call you MP asap!! GOOD LUCK

  • chris jones says:

    report her to the police for fraud and deception by means of obtaining financial gain then take her to court, maybe a small claims court or what ever maybe get legal advice on that, but she has commited a crime and also withheld evidence. best of luck

  • Sally says:

    Hi Stephen – the information in the link below may be of use to you (the interesting paternity part starts half way down)..

    http://www.fnf.org.uk/law-and-information/paternity-law

    It’s absolutely shocking that you find yourself in this situation!!

    Please keep us posted!

  • S. Pascoe says:

    i agree with Chris, take her to small claims court. her refusal to do the DNA on more than 1 occasion says she knew the out come. it costs about £80 for a small claims case and you can be awarded up to and no more than £5,000 (unless it has changed since the last time i looked into it, which admittedly was a number of years ago).
    get an appointment with your MP ASAP! they are paid to help people with cases just like these.
    GET YOUR NAME TAKEN OFF THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE IMMEDIATELY. you will need to DNA evidence to do this. the minute that is done the CSA CANNOT legally take any money from you.
    you need to take the mother to court and get every penny back she took. how you go about it is up to you. if you are not working current, or qualify for legal aid (doubtful as it seems no-one is!!) it would be worth speaking to a solicitor. you should be able to speak to a solicitor for a free anyway, most will do first appointment free, atleast then you would know where you stand legally.

    completely shameful that we have a society where this is acceptable behaviour, and a government based body who helps women dupe men this way.
    2 innocent boys of yours suffer because of her selfishness.

  • K Jones says:

    Make a formal written complaint & copy to your MP. Request your data files from the CSA & check all records to see if any references to you disputing parenthood.

    This is an absolute disgrace. It is theft.

    Any of you CSA staff on here, Managers, MP’s, et al. If you saw the Hillsborough documentary last night be warned. It took them 24 years to reveal the disgusting ‘cover up’ & those involved have been named, shamed & will be held to account.

    We are all keeping records & this shambolic, incompetent, family killing agency WILL fall and those of you complicit in cases such as this WILL be held to account so feel very nervous.

  • John says:

    Well said K. Jones.

    They will reap, what they have sewn. It might not be today or tomorrow or next week or next year, but they will reap what they have sewn.

    It’s called ‘restorative justice’, and where people lost their live because of the Hillsborough tragedy, there are also people who have lost their lives as a direct result of CSA/Politician/CSA Executive and civil servant actions, that are outside of the ‘rule or enactment of law’ that they are entitled to use.

    I’m looking forward to seeing some of those who devised, endorsed and enforced the CSA in the dock, in the near future.

    They’ve made me suffer enough. I am determined to see them suffer, when their time comes!

  • gonk says:

    yes well said K Jones
    I notice the chall and Alice have no comments on this one lol as usual…as Sally says…they are very selective on whom they give out advise lol…and only if it serves the CSA money making machine.
    gonk

  • topper says:

    Your name being on the Birth Certificate gives the green light for the CSA to ‘assume’ that you are the biological parent but that does mean in Law that you are.
    You state that several times you “explained that you are not the father” was this done verbally on the telephone or have you ever put it in writing?
    Also, have you requested your Data File, as this should show on telephone logs that you have expressed that you deny parentage.
    Now moving swiftly on, the DNA has suggested that you are NOT the biological father, these tests were carried out by the CSA or by a tester that you decided upon?
    If it was done by the CSA then they cannot argue, if it was by a tester of your chosing this may not be recognised therefore you will have to do the whole process all over again through a Magistrates Court under a section 55a of the Family Law Act.
    Hopefully it was through the CSA, in which case you will now need to remind them that one of the core principles of the 1991 Act is that there must not only be a Qualifying Child but more importantly in your case a “person who is related to him/her” (him/her being the Qualifying Child)
    Look up the Child Support Act 1991 in particular Section 3 1 a and remind the CSA of its meaning, then request that any payments that have been made are refunded and that the case be closed.

  • Stephen says:

    Hi all its Steve so I have done as much resarch as I can possibly think of I have dug all my old court paperwork out from 2010 and also a letter that I sent to the MP in 2010 I received a reply from the MP saying that he could not help me because he had no control over the CSA regulations and wished me luck for the future. After a Lengthy telephone conversation with CSA today they However said it is the MP who decides these regulations and it is then down to CSA to abide by the laws. Im confused so I have written to the MP today and the ombudsman attaching all evidence I have… So back to the conversation I had with the CSA this afternoon according to the CSA case officer who has sieved through all paperwork in the claim since 2008 the earliest she can find record of me denying Paternity of the child is October 2012 so that is the earliest they can refund me from which gives me a grand total of £140 refund of the £6000 they took.. However I have 2 independent witnesses who witnessed a Phonecall I recieved in 2009 where I stated to a gentleman on the phone from CSA that the child was not Mine also in my Letter to the MP that is dated beginning of 2010 it is stated in that that I have always disputed paternity. In a Solcitors Letter from A firm that was representing the Mother at the court proceedings in 2010 the mothers own words state That when I and Her split in September 2007 I was requesting a DNA test but she refused as she didn’t want me to have further contact with the child. I find it convenient that CSA have no record of my denial although everybody else does? I told CSA about the paperwork I found and they have asked me to send in the evidence I have she said she does not know weather it will be of any use to me but it will be looked into and in my eyes certainly worth a try.. I have also since lernt who the biological dad could be and we have spoke he informed me that a few weeks after the Child was born the mother approached him in a pub and told him she had given birth to his daughter. Several weeks later he contacted the Mother and Said he has worked out the dates and agreed that it was possible he was the father however he would not want to play a role in the childs life unless their was a DNA test done, the mother then told him that she was mistaken and drunk and that the child was not his but mine (my name would of already been on the BC by this point) he is prepared to write a letter stating this but will not appear as any witness if it goes to court. He is also agreeable that the child resembles him and his latest daughter. If only I had known this all them years back I am so angry.
    I have looked into suing for paternity fraud and claiming maintenance back however after some research I have found their is no punishment for paternity fraud and there has never been a successful case in the UK its extremely difficult to prove.. I have requested all Data that the CSA hold for me as they state at the beginning of the claim via a phone call I apparently admitted parentage of this child in 2008 conveniently recorded phone calls are archived after 18months so they are going off a ticked box the operator who took the phone call ticked. I have never accepted paternity of this child by telephone or letter only when I was stupidly duped by her at the registration of the birth. I just dont know what to do even now after getting the result I thought I needed for this to end it hasn’t its still destroying my life. Thankfully Ive had little to no contact with the child and she has never known me as her father so the poor child has not been affected to badly by the result she knows no difference. I am looking at the court option but with no legal aid available now for Family law cases that would be another financial burden I cannot afford. What do i do next.com. Thanks for all your replys

  • Alice says:

    from reading the original post it appears that the DNA testing was done by the CSA, the final part of this is for the mother to be shown a photo of the person who attended for DNA testing for confirmation that it is the person who was named as the NRP… this is so that an NRP or ANRP cannot send someone else for the testing – once the PWC confirms that the person in the photo is the NRP the case will be closed and a refund of any money paid since the paternity dispute was lodged by the NRP.

    Once you receive your Data Prints refer back to the CSA with any entries where you state that you do not believe that you are the biological father

    good luck

  • Stephen says:

    Alice you are correct an appointment has been made for CSA to visit the mother with my Photograph. Can you tell me why CSA do not hold any evidence of me denying paternity until October 2012? They also hold no record of a Phone call I had in 2009 with a gentleman and I told him the child was not mine? I have 2 witnesses to this phone call but CSA hold no record of it all even tho I was assured you record and Note down everything. Today I was on the phone to CSA and my phone call was not recorded due to a fault I wonder how many times that happens

  • Sally says:

    Alice will not reply because you have asked her a question that is not covered by CSA rules and/or legislation….

    Seriously though Stephen, have a look at this website, the know more about the CSA than the idiots who work for it do and have successfully helped NRP’s to put the CSA in their place!!

    http://www.nacsa.co.uk/

    The success stories (bottom left hand side link) are a breath of fresh air… 🙂

  • Alice says:

    Steve – as you have been told the call recordings are archived after 18 months, to be totally honest I do not know whether the recordings are saved and stored or whether they are deleted – as for the call notes, the accuracy is reliant on the call taker putting full details onto the computer after the call.

    When the case started did you complete a MEF form (maintenance enquiry form) or was this completed verbally on the phone with the new client team?
    Have you at any point since the case opened put in writing to the CSA that you dispute paternity of the child?

    The legislation is such that if paternity is not disputed at the start of the case but is later questioned and the NRP is proven not to be the father of the child then the case will be closed back to the time the NRP reported this.

    good luck

  • Stephen says:

    Hi Alice I did not complete an MEF because in 2008 when the claim was made against me I was 18 and Homeless the address CSA held for me at the time was a relatives address who I have no contact with the occupier would of either chucked letters out or returned to sender, so because they could not contact me the went ahead and Presumed parentage, I contacted CSA as soon as I

  • Stephen says:

    realised they were deducting money and Ive lost count over how many times Ive insisted the childs not mine. I have never put it in writing to CSA unfortunately and never thought to do so and was never advised to by anyone at CSA. However, I do have Solicitors letters from 2010 that state that even the mother agrees I have disputed Paternity since september 2007 and I was requesting a DNA test and the CSA claim was not even put in until march 2008 after she had already refused a DNA. I also have text messages from the mother stating only she knows who the father is and will never tell anyone I have sent this info into CSA but they are stating that they can only go from whats on their system!! as you say above the information left on call logs is reliant on the call Handler I am 1000% sure Ive always denied paternity Ive had long conversations my gfs had long conversations about it on my behalf with them yet not one person noted I disputed paternity until october 2012 I find that so convenient for CSA. It is completely wrong this woman is allowed to keep any of my money despite when paternity was denied this child is not mine and my children have lived in poverty and been dragged through the mills of homelessness because I was made to support another mans child… so wrong

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