International collection of CSA money
I am a 48 year old single mum, who’s son was born in Scotland. His father is scottish and during the relationship has been abusive in many ways. He is an alcoholic and also addicted gambler. He used to beat me and abused me mentally and emotionally. I have brought the criminal acts against me before courts, 3 times. During 2006 I had to flee my home and seek refuge with womens aid because the father of my son had threatened to kill me. The police advised at this point to leave the house for safety reasons. To illustrate the case further I should point out, that my son was born in Glasgow in 1998.
I had left my partner in 2000. I am a German national and because we haven’t been married, my son is also of German nationality. During the years from 2000 to 2006 I have always maintained the contact between my son and his father and also the rest of the family. I have not received regular payments of child maintenance. Sometimes the father would pay what he thought was right and mostly to manipulate me.
I have tried to deal with the CSA. I was told that I maybe shouldn’t persue the case further, because it wasn’t worth taking the risk for my safety. The money I should receive (if at all) was too little to take the chance of being harmed. At a later point I was told that the father couldn’t be found, although he never left the area. (He is, by the way, a self employed bricklayer.) Eventually, in 2007, I left the country because I was so frightened for my life. The situation was also too difficult for my son, who didn’t want to see his father anymore. My financial situation was also getting much worse since the father had started court actions to have visits from his son (which I always maintained). His aim was to ruin me financially.
After we had left the UK, I tried to contact the CSA, just to find that a collection was not possible from a country other than the UK. In the meantime my home country has paid maintenance for my son until he was 12 years old. Now he does no longer receive financial support.The contact to his father has ceased and I have no information where he lives. But I am certain that he is still in Scottland. Seeing that the CSA has not been able to find him while I was still living in the UK, I believe that I have no chance whatsoever now. My son is 13 years old and his father has paid him some money for about 3 years in total. It is my sons wish to study. In my home country it is a criminal offence when fathers (married or unmarried)don’t pay child maintenance.
There is a jail sentence attached to it. In the UK it seems to be a laughing matter that single parents have to shoulder the financial support for their children completely on their own. Can you, please, give me advise in order to receive the outstanding amount, although I do no longer live in the UK?
I’d be very greatful for an answer on behalf of my son.
Kind regards,
Elke.
2 thoughts on “International collection of CSA money”
Leave a Reply
Dear Elke, i do sypmathise with your situation. Germany is outside the remit of the CSA sadly. The only exception being if you happen to be a british citizen in possibly the british forces where your income is paid into an english account. As you are neither i honestly dont see where you can go from here. As you chose to leave the UK by your own choice, even though albeit for your own personal safety because of this man, plus his history of violence to you, and that he is self employed makes it virtually impossible for even the CSA to nail him on your behalf. For what you could actually hope to get from this odious creep, is it honestly worth the effort. Is a few english pounds worth the effort of trying? You are both safe from him now. let sleeping dogs lie Elke. I say this because your son was born here in the UK, not Germany. If you start causing him grief, he would be well within his rights to demand that you return his child here to the UK to live so he can have either access or even custody of your son. If he is registered on your sons birth certificate and you took his son out of the country without his permission. Do you see my point? I myself am a none resident parent and have paid maintenance for my child for the last 8 years. I have never been violent tio the mother of my child but if she were to emigrate and take my child with her without my consent, she would be in no position to continue demanding maintenance from me either until she came back again.
It looks like you have 2 choices here. Cut your losses and be glad that both you and your son are well rid of this man from your lives and get on with your life without any further expectation of money from him. Or your other alternative is to return to the UK to live and pursue your claim via the CSA. He doesnt need to know where you live and the CSA could not legally tell him either. Go to an English court to take out a child residency order to state your child is in effect in your custody, then take out a further injunction to stop him from having any further contact with your son. Because your son is 13 now he does have a right ot be heard in an english court and his views would be taken into account if he no longer wanted his dad to have access to him. I am sorry to to say this, but is it honestly worth all the mither.
Mick.
Deasr Elke, i have just got in from work and read your message while checking my email inbox. I am glad for both you and your son that you have both decided to move on with your lives and let his father alone. You have made the right choice. It is sad that you have been forced to have to leave the place you wanted to be, but peace of mind is a lot better than being somewhere where you would always be looking over your shoulder, no matter how much you liked Scotland.
England and Germany are not that different when it comes to parental rights and child maintenance. My ex wife played God with me and my daughter. I didnt get to see her for almost 4 years until she was 16 and old enough to make her own mind up about me. I got to see her for about 8 months before she decided herself that she no longer wanted contact with me any longer. Her mother had a long time to poision my daughters heart and mind against me. She has grown up sadly a damaged and very angry young woman. Angry with me for not being there, and blaming me still for events that i never had any control or say over. And yes, i was paying almost £4500 per year for the privelege of having no say in my daughters life. In fact, i only finished paying for her last month when she turned 18. And the only reason i can see why my ex wife cut me off, because i began to start seeing someone else and was moving on with my life. Up until that point we were co operating with each other, and had been for 2 years previous since we started to live apart. It was ok for her to have a new partners and have them stay over with her and my daughter, but it wasnt ok for me to have the same privelege. I knew that sooner or later i would get cut off. My ex wife was making my life intolerable throughout the divorce and blackmailing me using my daughter as a weapon.It was only a matter of time. There is a lot i could tell you but not here in a public format. Suffice to say, out of sheer spite on her part, me and my only child are now estranged from each other. The damage most likely irrepairable.
Anyway, rant over. Good luck to you with the decision you have made. It was the right one, and thats coming from a none resident parent who no longer has contact with his child either. I hope the advice i could impart did make you feel you made the right choices. As long as both you and your son are happy, thats ALL that matters.
Mick