I’m on the verge of losing everything

May 1, 2014

I split with my wife last year we have a 4yr old daughter and a 18mnth old son,i havent seen them at all,last time i spoke to them,was september 2013.

She has changed her mobile number,and all i no is she is living down south.

I dont mind paying the csa,but what gets me,is with the new laws coming out that they will be charging me the privilage of taking it out my bank,once ive paid my csa and all my bills,im left with £20 pw for food,so even if i did get to see my kids i wudnt be able to take them back/pick them up or feed them.

Im at my witts end,unfortunatley i tried to end it,just because i couldnt cope.i miss them so much.

I now think my son doesnt even know me,and maybe my daughter.the csa just keep taking and taking,every other week i get letters with different amounts on.

Im on the verge of loosing my home.i think its time to give up on seeing them and even keeping my home.i was homless for a few mnths.looks like its going to happen again.im that much in debt i just dont no what to do anymore.


  • mikmik says:

    If you are going to lose everything anyway, maybe move to Republic Of Ireland if you can. Your ex wife has to apply for a REMO via the courts to try to get maintenance from you, but first she has to know where you are so don’t tell. If she wields the axe to your rights as a father, you need to make the hard decision to leave it all behind, and I don’t mean committing suicide. Always live with the hope that some day you and your kids will be re-united, and when they find out what your ex did, hopefully they will put her out of their lives, like she put them out of yours.
    The Government is too toothless to bring in a fairer system in case it alienates the mumsnet/gingerbread brigade so we men will continue to get fucked over for a very long time.
    It should be a law that no-one can fuck off with the kids without telling the other person where they are, but then you’d have the chav’esses accusing the father of all sorts of things.

    All the very best.

  • dave butler says:

    Well its been 6 months now.im still receiving ssp.the csa still haven’t sorted out how much I have to pay.last mnth they stopped all my money by deduction of earnings.they left me with nothing at all.and possibly the same this mnth.i ring them every week.and I speak to a different person every time.still they don’t no what there doing..as for seeing my kids I have no way of doing this.yes I’ve been to solicitors etc and they can’t help me.

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