I’m feeling the pinch thanks to lying ex

March 3, 2016

7 years ago, I started a relationship with a girl I used to work with. We were together for about 3 weeks. After we had stopped seeing each other, the girl in.question told me she was pregnant. It wasn’t well received news, as the girl in question had told me on several occasions she couldn’t conceive. We fell out.

Fast forward to 9 months later, I had found another girlfriend at this point, my now long term girlfriend of 6 years, letter through the door, you’re the father of anon boy. DNA test done (£400!) and £173.00 out of my already crap wage.

7 years later, and me and my serious girlfriend, now fiance, have our own house mortgage, bills and want to start our own family. Our cashflow situation is dire, we scrape each month to make ends meet. I don’t see my ‘son’ and feel absolutely nothing but hatred towards the lying girl who gave birth to him. A lie that has cost me thousands of pounds and had a serious detrimental effect on my current relationship. I feel like I have been sentenced without a fair trial. I hate how there isn’t any other outcome than “you’re the father,you pay” The girl in question knew my first name and surname and that was it. I feel for every single person who has to pay this seemingly unjust tax. But I’m just an absent Father, what do I know?


  • eve32 says:

    If you have unprotected sex with anyone regardless if the female says she is unable to conceive there is a possibility of an unwanted pregnancy, there are many instances of women who are told they are unable to conceive and are unsuccessful with IVF and then go on to conceive naturally. In addition contraception is not 100% so unless you take precautions yourself i.e. a condom then you risk an unplanned pregnancy every time you have sex. It’s not rocket science, it’s human biology.

    It would be more healthy if you let go of your hatred and accept your financial obligation to your child and get on with your life with your partner and live a happy life

  • Montanna says:

    Good anger is good, bad anger is bad. The one god one is when you know something is wrong and are wiling to campaign against it.

    Sadly because of how CSA has been formulated (money for child and spousal maintainer) it is very hard for you to look back into the past without anger, hurt and regret. That marvelouse hindsight.

    I would write the same letter to your MP, and ask him what can you do to support your child and hopes for a new family.

  • bm1974 says:

    Same happened to me, met a girl, she couldn’t have kids, she tried everything with her ex husband, but after a few weeks with me she fell pregnant. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, so another child , with a girl I hardly knew was the last thing I wanted.
    I didn’t want another child, she wanted the child. She said she justs wants a baby and wouldn’t ask me for anything, just a long as I kept in the childs life as her dad. She had a beautiful girl and I became a dad to a third child. I treasured this child with all my heart and she became the same as my first two. I do everything for my kids.
    However, things didn’t work out and we split up. She wants to take me to the cleaners now, demanding all sorts of payments, visiting rights sorted , she knows her legal rights. I have stood by all this and paid up. My kids are beautiful and I will do what ever it takes to make them have a happy life. My life however, is living back with my parents as I could no longer pay my bills and the maintenance for the 3 kids. The exes are more concerned how much they can get from me money wise, rather than letting me be a good father.
    My life has changed dramatically for the worse, my health has deteriorated and i hardly ever go out any more. Plus i don’t see or do as much with the kids any more.
    I know the saying about having sex, but the rights of the man are taken away from him once the woman falls pregnant. it’s not fair that women can lie and trick men into this situation. I have went on other forums, where guys have committed suicide because of the treatment the exes give.

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