If I have to pay the CSA, they should have to follow the rules too

August 7, 2013

Approximately three years ago I had a very brief relationship with a girl who I didn’t realise was suffering with depression, taking medication and going for counselling. she had been off work for months and I had no idea until nearer the end of our relationship, she had a two year old daughter to a man that didn’t see his daughter which I thought strange but she proceeded to tell me she had taken him to court, to get him to pay maintenance for her daughter.

she had mood swings all the time and acted erratically at times even asking her daughter to call me daddy after two weeks!! She claimed to be using contraception but I used condoms 99% of the time, after lots of mood swings and more strange behaviour I decided it wasn’t right for me and told her the relationship was over.

Nine months later I received a letter from the csa saying I had been named as the father of a baby girl she’d had, shocked I tried to contact her and her family to find out what it was all about to which I was greeted with threats and countless amounts of abuse, I already have two daughters that stay with me twice a week and I pay maintenance for and always have, I asked to see the baby but was told to keep away, my last message from her family said “we don’t want you near this baby, all we want is your money!”

I’d heard horror stories of big arrears people accrue from the csa so I thought I’d better start paying, after two years of trying to make contact I decided to cut off the money, because they wouldn’t listen to me, they recently the csa took out an order and hit me with £400 from my wages, I phoned them and said I was never married to her, not on the birth certificate, not named in court as the father or had DNA prove I was the father, I also said trying to pay a mortgage and bills to keep a roof over my kids heads was near enough impossible without this and asked why her income is not looked at? But mine is?

I explained I’d like to take my children on holiday and give them good christmas’s and birthdays but can’t, the answer I got from the csa was, not our problem. I think they need to re-name the csa because surely support comes in many ways rather than just financial, the agency in my opinion needs to look at both sets of circumstances financially too, I don’t doubt there are dads that don’t care in this world but I’m not one of them and if I have to pay into the csa pot then surely they have to follow the rules too,

I can’t afford to go to court due to all my outgoings and feel really trapped, I actually feel like its entrapment especially on grounds of her not being in a sound state of mind, people will say I should have kept it in my pants but were all grown ups and if somebody says they are using contraception then I was a fool for believing her. If anybody has any ideas or can help me then I’d greatly appreciate it as at the moment I honestly feel like I’m sinking into depression with nothing to offer my children


  • Pete says:

    Paul. Demand a DNA test, the csa are the worst of the worst, the lie, commit fraud, Do not belive a word they say, In regards to your conversation with them, i hope you have kept a log of date time and whom you spoke to. My advice to you is demaned your DP file will cost you £10 it will be the best £10 you have ever spent, they have 40 days to get your file to you,I can only suggest you join our face book group, https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/204256966364149/

  • John says:

    Go directly to your M.P. and tell them your version of events. It cannot be right in law that you may be paying for a child that you have no financial responsibility for.

    If, however your DNA is a match, then it’s a different ball game.

    Get everything in writing as evidence from the CSA. Do NOT speak to them on the phone, they are liars as well as thieves.

  • >