If I change my son’s name, will my ex still have to pay?

July 23, 2013

Hi there myt son is 8 years old my ex partner was in his life for 3 years then stopped.(hes not on birth cert his choice)I was just wondering if i change my sons name by deed poll will he still have to pay child maintenance?

thanks in advance


  • Lisa says:

    Yes he will still have to contribute towards his child’s upbringing, but ask his permission because if you don’t he will probably want to go you nothing, to be fair I wouldn’t blame him, he has rights

  • Sally says:

    I agree with Michelle 100% if his name isn’t good enough, don’t take his money….. It’s MORALLY WRONG……

  • Macon says:

    This happened to me my ex only changed my kids name at school to her new boyfriends name but still wanted money off me this is not on and has far reaching consequences for example when your son has kids of his own they won’t have the correct name and how would you feel if in years to come if your son has kids his ex changes your grand kids name yes you would feel shit for yourself and your son , just goes to show money is the overriding factor with you if you chose to have kids with a man the kid takes his name simple you money hungry skank !!!!

  • helza says:

    Hi there i was simple makin a inquire, my son does not have his name, has never bothered with him, wasnt interested in been there at the reg of his birth x

  • Macon says:

    This selfish idiot how posted this question is a parisite who only wants to reap revenge on the father of her kid who’s crime is for whatever reason not be with the mother of his son shame on you !! !!

  • Macon says:

    Think of your son he goes into school with a diferent name the other kids will tease him or are you only thinking of revenge on your unfortunate ex ?

  • helza says:

    Omg its been complete takin out of context, it was a question in general i was askin. i love my son dearly.

  • Gonk says:

    Disgusting vermin you are . Don’t want the fathers name but happy to take his money. You make me sick,you so worried about the money you might lose,that’s why you posted here.Another money grabbing leach that just sees the father as a cash machine.

  • helza says:

    His father was given the option to have his name on the birth cert. but never showed up so that was his choice and i am not concerned bout money as my husband provides for us thanks very much. I was simple askin a question

  • helza says:

    And just to clarify my ex partner does not pay for my son x

  • My Ex done this a good few years ago to me,my Boy is now a 22yr old man,
    he told me his Mother told him i was a bum & a thug..he didn.t even know my Surname coz she changed it without letting me know..P.s. my son is very happy to know his Dad is not a bum or a thug ! Why have females of this generation turned into utter parasites and inhumane species.

  • rach says:

    i totally agree with everyone it is morally wrong to change the childs surname and yet still expect to have the father pay for said child!! if you want to cut all traces of the father from your childs life then by all means do it but dont expect to still be paid for the privillege as that is just totally unacceptable ! you have no morals!!!!

  • gonk says:

    well spoken Rach…thank you

  • CSA warrior says:

    Wasnt it saddam Hussain who hid tanks behind children.
    firstly lots of questions ie why was he not on the birth certificate inspite of being there for 3 years?
    Why has he now left the little boys life?
    Why do u now want to change his name?

    Kids make great weapons dont they. Attack the point he cares about the most.

    interstingly is he realy the dad as his name is not on the birth certificate. I wonder would happen if he did a DNA test. he can claim his money back and do you for fraud LOOOOOOOOOOOL. ! ) If I was him I would. just think he can get everypenny back then double it by sueing you. Id start saving if i were u. Or maybe hes not as vicious as me. Equally if he is the dad he can take your arse to court and get parental responsibility. you can oppose if you want but in court it would be a walk over and you being the loser would then pay his costs + then u cant change the boys name unless it is in the childs best interests rather than yours.

    SOME BITCHES ARE SO FUCKING DUMB as he is paying then in any court PR would be granted as you accepting his payment is evidence enough dumb arse

  • helza says:

    How fuckin dare u say something i defiantly no hes my sons dad. he is not on my sons birth cert becus he choose not to be there he was asked to come n never. he was there as n when he choose he the first 3 years. I left him for a very good reason. and the reason i would like to change his name is becus he is gettin bullied at school becus me my husband a younger son all have the same name. he has my maiden name. HE WAS ASKED TO BE THERE FOR HIS NAME ON THE BIRTH CERT AND I WAS TOLD HIS WORK WAS MORE IMPORTANT X and u are sayin i have no morals x

  • dai says:

    dumb and dumber

    to change the name you will need to make an application to court if you do not get the ex’s consent.

    if you do not you are acknowledging that your ex is not the father of your son.

    not only do you think you have an ATM between your legs but you are messing up your son. I hate to say it but he may be better off in care or with someone else in the family maybe even the non -father.

  • gonk says:

    @csa warrior
    love your replies…you sooo got these bitches summed up lol

  • rach says:

    i think personally it could open a can of worms that you havent thought about should you change his name and then go to the csa

    1 hes not on birth certificate so is quite able to argue his point with the csa that he is not the father and by you changing the name could also back up that theory !!

    2 if you wished to still persue it then you would have to go down the dna testing route and therefore have a lot of explaining to do to your child !!! if its in the childs interest to not carry his surname then dont drag your child through hell by making him endure dna testing and the inevitable questions that wil come with it . its too much emotion for a child to deal with!!

  • topper says:

    To a degree I agree with some of the above comments but, in reality moral issues should never be brought into CSA issues. If morality were involved then there would be a whole new set of CSA rules and I have no doubt that most NRP’s would love the chance to help rewrite the rules.

    The answer to the posters question is YES the ex will still have to pay.

    Now comes the tricky bit, If I were the ex I would very seriously consider going down the paternity route if there were to be a change of name.
    As the ex is not named on the Birth Cert he will have a fight on his hands to claim any form of parental influence over the child.

    As to the childs future, well only time will tell as to what that may bring, it will also of course depend upon the mothers influence but that in itself is a whole new ball game.

  • rach says:

    to topper

    yes he will have to pay but only after a dna test as the csa cannot presume parentage unless hes named on birth certificate!!

  • Sally says:

    If we don’t rely on morals Topper then the CSA and our shamefull government have won….

    We are all fighting for what is morally right and fighting against what’s morally wrong… We follow rules and legislation that has been produced and approved by our government who believe that it is acceptable to rob from the poor to give to the rich.. I.e. charge the commoner bedroom tax and expect that money to PAY FOR their SECOND homes….

    The bottom line is that the mother who posted this query can do what she likes without any retribution … She can change the child’s name and the father has little, if any, say in the matter and she can claim child maintenance whether his name is on the birth certificate or not…. As long as he is the biological father…

    Fathers have absolutely no rights and we have our government to thank for that…. It is disgusting and I am ashamed of the women who abuse the system…. Like the mother who made the original post… 🙁

  • topper says:

    @ rach….. it would seem that the ex has missed his chance to deny parentage as it seems that he is already paying maintenance, in which case he will have to do a section 55a.
    It does not really matter if he was named or not on the birth cert, if the PWC makes the claim, then it is up to the NRP to make the dispute over parentage clear to the CSA immediately otherwise parentage is assumed by the CSA.
    Now whether that is morally right or wrong is not for me to say.

    @ Sally My point is not whether we rely on morals or not, the fact is that morality and the CSA do not go hand in hand as it were.

  • topper says:

    Further more I am not here to judge the poster of the thread or anyone else, that’s not my job, duty or function. If someone asks the question I will supply the answer to the best of capabilities, so far as any CSA question goes.

  • Sally says:

    I got your point Topper, but if we accept that, we start accommoding them (CSA)….. WE (the victims) are right,,,,,,, the CSA are wrong…

  • CSA warrior says:

    Thanks gonk

    The law is intended to reflect the morals of society, which is why it changes. Once it was morally acceptable to kill crimminals now its not the law is supposed to reflect that

  • Sherry says:

    hi, i have a question,

    im 16 years old and havent seen my dad in 5 years as he doesnt want to know me, but he still sees my brother, he pays my mum £15 a month for me overall because he has too but doesnt want to see me. i wanted to change my name legally by deed poll to my mothers maiden name, i was just wondering would my mum loose that £15 a month? im not bothered if she does or doesnt because i can pay that out of my wages. its just a general wondering.

  • Mac says:

    I can’t believe how angry some people have been towards you, hold your head high I’m sure you are doing a great job. My ex changed his name, and still had to pay Child Support, so I don’t see why it should be any different for your son. The only thing is you may need to ask the Father’s permission to change it… I plan on getting married next year, so I see your dilemma, if possible I may decide to change it as my name of course will be changing! If your ex doesn’t want to be in his child’s life then that’s his problem but DAMN RIGHT he should have to pay. If a guy isn’t willing to support his child then he should have kept his dick in his pants in the first place. My situation was one of terrible abuse, my son has the RIGHT to a better life, and he earns so much money that what I do get would barely be noticable to him. It’s not my sons fault that his Dad was a cheating bastard, or threatened to murder me and my unborn baby, or repeatedly told me to throw myself off the balcony. I have a new partner now, I work, I study, and I’m getting married next year, but I plan on receiving child support for my son until the day I turn 18. You mean on here that comment and make abusive statements have no idea what it’s like to raise a child in those circumstances.

    Now back to the name change, the only catch is when they ask for ID he will have to prove his previous identity a lot, but so long as you are he has access to the right paperwork it’s really not an issue.

    Do what you think is best for you and your son, and let the deadbeat dad pay…

  • mel says:

    I can not believe the awful hateful comments on here. If a parent doesn’t want to know they still have an obligation to pay. If they are not involved with the child it is a joke to keep the surname. They haven’t earned the right to carry on their name! The CSA is there for non paying parents – because they should be paying! What that has to do with the name I don’t know! All circumstances are different and it’s morally corrupt not to pay. How this is just as bad as a child having his mothers name instead of his father’s I will never know. You don’t buy a car on HP and decide to stop paying when you lose interest and don’t want it any more. If you do they will come after you for the money.

  • Gail says:

    This has made me so angry. My husband has been prevented from seeing his children for the last 8 years. He has gone through every emotion, hate, anger, depression, until finally accepting that his only hope will be that they find him without the hateful influence of their mother clouding their thoughts. He has paid csa every month no fail. Imagine his horror to discover his children no longer are using his surname but the one of his ex’s latest bloke. I understand that dads should step up and pay for their children but some mothers are just wicked and vile and I really hope their children realise how badly they have behaved and it comes back to bite them on the arse!

  • gav says:

    My x has changed my sons name and I have to pay csa. Did not even get asked did not even no. And was trying to see my son then smack I find out she changed his name. Like most of u say on here why am I still paying if she changed his name to the new bloke. Was nearly in tears it killed me

  • Claire says:

    I outraged by some of these awful comments! My son’s sperm donor left when I told him I was pregnant I haven’t heard from him since, I gave my surname to him and in November I’m getting married, I fully intend to change his surname to my partners name who has been a real father to him. My son is 5 years old and has never been lied to he nos my partner is not his real daddy and we both have said in the future if he wants to find his sperm donor we will help until then he is happy with the way things are and is very excited to have the same name as his siblings! Moral to the story is don’t judge peoples situation until you know all the facts!! Go for it honey your not a money grabbing bitch like they make out its called doing what’s right for your family x

  • Yvonne peake says:

    Well well well !! You all have a lot to say about the lady who wants to change her child’s name to her married family’s name and still accept money from her child’s father ! She has every right to do this as have I!! I have had to fight tooth and nail to get money from my child’s father and his company and he is nearly 10 and he hasn’t bothered with him for 5 years so I am married and he calls my husband dad and his kids have our surname and my son doesn’t and he feels left out so yes I am entitled to take money from the absent father and change my sons name to our surname and he has no right to stop paying me for his child who has never helped me with and who has multiple health problems and the best thing Is he is a carer of vulnerable children and his mother is a foster parent makes me laugh that anyway you don’t know the circumstances of why the lady wants to change the child’s name and your too quick to judge her it isn’t morally wrong it is sometimes and especiouly in my case what the child wants and in that case I will be doing this without a doubt and to keep him with a name he no longer wants or likes and has never been known by he will have what he wants

  • Tink says:

    I have done this with my sons last name but it was my son who wanted my surname and kept asking his dad. I am not bothered about money in the slightest but you are all having a go at this woman for asking a question it is not always the mothers fault as I received a let4wr of my sons dad the started he is relinquishing all parental responsibility over his son and he as done this because he as got a new gf who is expecting his child. Calling woman for protecting their children is wrong when some men out there don’t actually care about the children they have had with other woman

  • Makka says:

    I was working away and my now ex partner was cheating on me at this time.we had our son before this happend and as it happend i left.she stayed with this guy.made it harder and harder for me to see my son.she ended up marrying this same fella and changed my sons last name to her now new married name without letting me know.she had 2 more kids to that marriage and has now divorced from that marriage and my son still has that fellas family name and she is now with a new fella.i still pay child support.i work i always have and i dont think i should pay it tho i do as i dont want my son to miss out.and now i am scared go go neer my son wich has now been 10 years because the way my ex was or is .will try and make my life harder than what it already is.

  • Peter says:

    I seperated with my then wife about ten yrs ago we have 2 boys who i have never been allowed to see i have always paid for them up until i lost my job about months ago since then she has remarried and also given my boys her new name with out my permission i would like to where i stand legally as she has now started a new csa claim against me

  • Andy says:

    I think everyone has different circumstances, if it was my son i would be there every second of the day i could and i would fight it all day if me and my wife split, but my wife had a 5 yr old when i met her and his dad had left when he was just 2 month old and doesnt want to see him even though his dads mom still sees him. This same guy also when CSA contacted him when they 1st split even though his name was on birth certificate denied son was his. He did ask my wife for an abortion because he doesnt want kids but she said no she couldnt do that. This poor lad now wants my surname cause me and my wife has another Son and he feels like he not apart of our family as he has different surname, i personally think he should wait till his old enough to be able to make a decision when he at age of 16. So befor people bite and people theres lots of hidden factors and hard decision in these things and no matter what my sons name ws i would wanna give him best up bringing i could.

  • Stacey says:

    All these dads calling the mother a scum bag for wanting to change the name. Why isn’t the father seeing his child ? Along with the rest of you who have plenty to say ?
    All well and good callin her names and telling your stories of your exes. Fill out a C100 and see your kids instead of just paying and staying away

  • Jim says:

    My partner re married changed my daughter’s name whom I haven’t seen or spoke to in 6yrs because her mam won’t allow it, but I still have to pay maintenance every month of £420 deduction of earnings

  • Anonymous says:

    For one, do you know what its like to grow up and hate your last name? having that constant reminder that you were abandoned on everything you sign your name on is terrible. I have to write my name on at least 6 papers every day for school and look at a name of someone who abandoned me and doesnt even try to help me out. The least they could do is chip in for food and school and stuff for that kid if they arent gonna be there to raise him. For two, this wasnt at all helpful and lastly go fuck yourself.

  • Natalie says:

    Hi all,

    Remember every situation is different.
    I have given the father of my son access but always disappointed him and left me with the emotional burden of ensuring my son that he is not the problem. Any how the father of my son came back only because he wanted me to help with his court battle but other than that was not playing no father duties and I have been bringing up my son on my own for 14 years and he has never helped let alone asked what my son needs.
    I have decided to change my son’s name after thinking long and hard about making that decision and NO it was not in any way made for revenge. Its about what is right and the priority of my son, isn’t it?
    There are some mothers who seek revenge which personally I do not have time for or agree with, it ended for a reason and clearly there was no common ground.SOME Fathers need to realise that children are rapidly growing and need things.. Food clothes etc the list is endless.
    Why is it ok for the dead beat fathers to walk away and then pop in when he wants something for his benefit!? Surely he should do the right thing and contribute financially if being a man and a father is not his intelligence & common sense.
    He should pay up regardless!! Too much responsibility is on mothers -from working to provide, bills, homeschooling etc. There are mother’s out here who want the best for their children and only that. What do you do is the father is not a positive role model for that child and is not playing the part of being a father?
    Should he still then continue to live his life and go on like he has NO Children and not pay? No chance.
    Do what you have to do at the end of the day, everyone’s circumstances are different and everyone is struggling especially single mothers and fathers.
    Be kind and do not judge
    More importantly do not seek revenge, think of your children and know that they are smarter than we think somethimes.
    It hurts my son to not have his father around but he knows I have tried and that his father is a waste of space. Disappointing and heart breaking but it is what it is.
    Stay safe and Take care.

  • Natalie says:

    That’s not fair, If you was consistent. Some mothers do things out of spite but as for you. Fight for your child to let he or she know that you love them and have never stopped. Be consistent try contacting your child and remember that they do not stay young forever. Never give up hope. All the best! And make sure you have proff that you have tried to contact and what actions you’ve done to support your child

  • Gareth says:

    If the child is not mine do I have to pay maintenance

  • Ryan says:

    Deadbeat dad. What a joke, you women are just money grabbing scum who use children as weapons. Get all the money you can. The world’s fucked

  • Noami says:

    Greedy money grabbing pig

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