Lisa says:

Yes he will still have to contribute towards his child’s upbringing, but ask his permission because if you don’t he will probably want to go you nothing, to be fair I wouldn’t blame him, he has rights

Sally says:

I agree with Michelle 100% if his name isn’t good enough, don’t take his money….. It’s MORALLY WRONG……

Macon says:

This happened to me my ex only changed my kids name at school to her new boyfriends name but still wanted money off me this is not on and has far reaching consequences for example when your son has kids of his own they won’t have the correct name and how would you feel if in years to come if your son has kids his ex changes your grand kids name yes you would feel shit for yourself and your son , just goes to show money is the overriding factor with you if you chose to have kids with a man the kid takes his name simple you money hungry skank !!!!

helza says:

Hi there i was simple makin a inquire, my son does not have his name, has never bothered with him, wasnt interested in been there at the reg of his birth x

Macon says:

Think of your son he goes into school with a diferent name the other kids will tease him or are you only thinking of revenge on your unfortunate ex ?

Gonk says:

Disgusting vermin you are . Don’t want the fathers name but happy to take his money. You make me sick,you so worried about the money you might lose,that’s why you posted here.Another money grabbing leach that just sees the father as a cash machine.
Gonk

helza says:

And just to clarify my ex partner does not pay for my son x

rach says:

i totally agree with everyone it is morally wrong to change the childs surname and yet still expect to have the father pay for said child!! if you want to cut all traces of the father from your childs life then by all means do it but dont expect to still be paid for the privillege as that is just totally unacceptable ! you have no morals!!!!

CSA warrior says:

Wasnt it saddam Hussain who hid tanks behind children.
firstly lots of questions ie why was he not on the birth certificate inspite of being there for 3 years?
Why has he now left the little boys life?
Why do u now want to change his name?

Kids make great weapons dont they. Attack the point he cares about the most.

interstingly is he realy the dad as his name is not on the birth certificate. I wonder would happen if he did a DNA test. he can claim his money back and do you for fraud LOOOOOOOOOOOL. ! ) If I was him I would. just think he can get everypenny back then double it by sueing you. Id start saving if i were u. Or maybe hes not as vicious as me. Equally if he is the dad he can take your arse to court and get parental responsibility. you can oppose if you want but in court it would be a walk over and you being the loser would then pay his costs + then u cant change the boys name unless it is in the childs best interests rather than yours.

SOME BITCHES ARE SO FUCKING DUMB as he is paying then in any court PR would be granted as you accepting his payment is evidence enough dumb arse

dai says:

dumb and dumber

to change the name you will need to make an application to court if you do not get the ex’s consent.

if you do not you are acknowledging that your ex is not the father of your son.

not only do you think you have an ATM between your legs but you are messing up your son. I hate to say it but he may be better off in care or with someone else in the family maybe even the non -father.

rach says:

i think personally it could open a can of worms that you havent thought about should you change his name and then go to the csa

1 hes not on birth certificate so is quite able to argue his point with the csa that he is not the father and by you changing the name could also back up that theory !!

2 if you wished to still persue it then you would have to go down the dna testing route and therefore have a lot of explaining to do to your child !!! if its in the childs interest to not carry his surname then dont drag your child through hell by making him endure dna testing and the inevitable questions that wil come with it . its too much emotion for a child to deal with!!

rach says:

to topper

yes he will have to pay but only after a dna test as the csa cannot presume parentage unless hes named on birth certificate!!

topper says:

@ rach….. it would seem that the ex has missed his chance to deny parentage as it seems that he is already paying maintenance, in which case he will have to do a section 55a.
It does not really matter if he was named or not on the birth cert, if the PWC makes the claim, then it is up to the NRP to make the dispute over parentage clear to the CSA immediately otherwise parentage is assumed by the CSA.
Now whether that is morally right or wrong is not for me to say.

@ Sally My point is not whether we rely on morals or not, the fact is that morality and the CSA do not go hand in hand as it were.

Sally says:

I got your point Topper, but if we accept that, we start accommoding them (CSA)….. WE (the victims) are right,,,,,,, the CSA are wrong…

Sherry says:

hi, i have a question,

im 16 years old and havent seen my dad in 5 years as he doesnt want to know me, but he still sees my brother, he pays my mum £15 a month for me overall because he has too but doesnt want to see me. i wanted to change my name legally by deed poll to my mothers maiden name, i was just wondering would my mum loose that £15 a month? im not bothered if she does or doesnt because i can pay that out of my wages. its just a general wondering.

mel says:

I can not believe the awful hateful comments on here. If a parent doesn’t want to know they still have an obligation to pay. If they are not involved with the child it is a joke to keep the surname. They haven’t earned the right to carry on their name! The CSA is there for non paying parents – because they should be paying! What that has to do with the name I don’t know! All circumstances are different and it’s morally corrupt not to pay. How this is just as bad as a child having his mothers name instead of his father’s I will never know. You don’t buy a car on HP and decide to stop paying when you lose interest and don’t want it any more. If you do they will come after you for the money.

gav says:

My x has changed my sons name and I have to pay csa. Did not even get asked did not even no. And was trying to see my son then smack I find out she changed his name. Like most of u say on here why am I still paying if she changed his name to the new bloke. Was nearly in tears it killed me

Yvonne peake says:

Well well well !! You all have a lot to say about the lady who wants to change her child’s name to her married family’s name and still accept money from her child’s father ! She has every right to do this as have I!! I have had to fight tooth and nail to get money from my child’s father and his company and he is nearly 10 and he hasn’t bothered with him for 5 years so I am married and he calls my husband dad and his kids have our surname and my son doesn’t and he feels left out so yes I am entitled to take money from the absent father and change my sons name to our surname and he has no right to stop paying me for his child who has never helped me with and who has multiple health problems and the best thing Is he is a carer of vulnerable children and his mother is a foster parent makes me laugh that anyway you don’t know the circumstances of why the lady wants to change the child’s name and your too quick to judge her it isn’t morally wrong it is sometimes and especiouly in my case what the child wants and in that case I will be doing this without a doubt and to keep him with a name he no longer wants or likes and has never been known by he will have what he wants

Makka says:

I was working away and my now ex partner was cheating on me at this time.we had our son before this happend and as it happend i left.she stayed with this guy.made it harder and harder for me to see my son.she ended up marrying this same fella and changed my sons last name to her now new married name without letting me know.she had 2 more kids to that marriage and has now divorced from that marriage and my son still has that fellas family name and she is now with a new fella.i still pay child support.i work i always have and i dont think i should pay it tho i do as i dont want my son to miss out.and now i am scared go go neer my son wich has now been 10 years because the way my ex was or is .will try and make my life harder than what it already is.

Andy says:

I think everyone has different circumstances, if it was my son i would be there every second of the day i could and i would fight it all day if me and my wife split, but my wife had a 5 yr old when i met her and his dad had left when he was just 2 month old and doesnt want to see him even though his dads mom still sees him. This same guy also when CSA contacted him when they 1st split even though his name was on birth certificate denied son was his. He did ask my wife for an abortion because he doesnt want kids but she said no she couldnt do that. This poor lad now wants my surname cause me and my wife has another Son and he feels like he not apart of our family as he has different surname, i personally think he should wait till his old enough to be able to make a decision when he at age of 16. So befor people bite and people theres lots of hidden factors and hard decision in these things and no matter what my sons name ws i would wanna give him best up bringing i could.

Jim says:

My partner re married changed my daughter’s name whom I haven’t seen or spoke to in 6yrs because her mam won’t allow it, but I still have to pay maintenance every month of £420 deduction of earnings

Natalie says:

Hi all,

Remember every situation is different.
I have given the father of my son access but always disappointed him and left me with the emotional burden of ensuring my son that he is not the problem. Any how the father of my son came back only because he wanted me to help with his court battle but other than that was not playing no father duties and I have been bringing up my son on my own for 14 years and he has never helped let alone asked what my son needs.
I have decided to change my son’s name after thinking long and hard about making that decision and NO it was not in any way made for revenge. Its about what is right and the priority of my son, isn’t it?
There are some mothers who seek revenge which personally I do not have time for or agree with, it ended for a reason and clearly there was no common ground.SOME Fathers need to realise that children are rapidly growing and need things.. Food clothes etc the list is endless.
Why is it ok for the dead beat fathers to walk away and then pop in when he wants something for his benefit!? Surely he should do the right thing and contribute financially if being a man and a father is not his intelligence & common sense.
He should pay up regardless!! Too much responsibility is on mothers -from working to provide, bills, homeschooling etc. There are mother’s out here who want the best for their children and only that. What do you do is the father is not a positive role model for that child and is not playing the part of being a father?
Should he still then continue to live his life and go on like he has NO Children and not pay? No chance.
Do what you have to do at the end of the day, everyone’s circumstances are different and everyone is struggling especially single mothers and fathers.
Be kind and do not judge
More importantly do not seek revenge, think of your children and know that they are smarter than we think somethimes.
It hurts my son to not have his father around but he knows I have tried and that his father is a waste of space. Disappointing and heart breaking but it is what it is.
Stay safe and Take care.
X