I would never have married my husband had I known of his debts

October 18, 2012

I married my husband not knowing the full financial details. I.E He had over £50,000 debt on top of his mortgage. etc. CSA took payments from him for his 3 previous children, and he for a long time he contibuted less than £100 a month to our household, he ate more than that.

Anyhow as the children grew up, he only had one child to pay for. Then we had our own child, so technically, he was now responsible for 2 children that he lived with. CSA told him he had nil to pay, but then out of the blue sent a letter asking for nearly £1500 within 7 days or else he would be taken to court.

Now I have to return to work because we can’t survive on his wages, and on top of that his ex is asking for more money, and my wages will be taken into consideration when calculating the amount. I will be paying over half my wages in childcare costs, but neither that or my husbands over £50,000 debt will be taken into consideration.

If I knew my husband’s debt issues I would never have married him.

To cap it all off, my ex husband pays less that £7 a week. Yes, less than £7!!!

Where is the justice????


  • sarah Briers says:

    Speechless! But I know I Shouldn’t be suprised

  • Carol says:

    Do you agree that there are arrears due? Have you received a statement breakdown from the CSA to find out more. I have seen this happening so many times on here nrp’s suddenly getting letters being chased for arrears they knew nothing of. Even nrp’s who have always paid, or who have thought they were finished paying get these letters.

    If you are in employment then CSA would take into account your salary and also tax credits depending on who is the highest earner in your household. I personally find that sickening!

    You can request a copy of your file if you need to aswell. CSA charge a fee of £10 for this.

    It is very hard being nrp partner and a financial nightmare, well was for us anyway, so much so that I could not continue in the relationship. Like yourself I was being handed “board money” and having to pay everything else which meant my children were suffering because of these alleged arrears.

    Good luck and fight it if you do not believe there should be arrears.

  • Karen says:

    I had to read your story when i saw the headline, how very sad a situation to feel the need to say you wished you werent married. It just goes to show how far reaching a dysfunctional government department goes to making peoples lives a misery. I hope you stick together come what may!

  • SJN says:

    I hopefully will have an answer about the arrears soon. However in short it is my husbands fault. My problem is that the £1500 payment came out of my children’s savings.

    You’d think that a couple would be better off finacially when they marry, but I am worse off than I was whilst living on my own. I’ve had a full time job since I was 16, I could afford holidays abroad most years, and the year I didn’t go abroad I had made big purchases, like a car, or had something done to the house. The point being I was never worried about money. I wasn’t rich but very comfortable. I lived within my means and was secure on my own.

    Since marrying my husband I am in debt to family and the bank. (because I paid for the wedding and couldn’t afford my car for cash as I usually saved up for it and now can’t save due to paying for husbands upkeep, I can’t afford to go on holiday abroad. I have to say no to my teenage daughter a lot more often than I want to. I have to even think twice about a bar of chocolate. While his other kids get i-Pads worth £1,000 for the birthdays. His other kids have even changed the surname to that of the step father, but still take his money and gifts. They don’t call him or text on his birthday or father’s day or at Xmas, but alway near their birthdays.

    So it is vary sad to say I regret marrying my husband, but right now I really do. I hate the fact that his other children live off me!! My children’s savings pay for their indulgences.

    To top it all off, I have no more savings, so I have to return to work, so we can continue to get by.

    If we split up, it’ll be because of the injustice caused by the CSA.

  • Alice says:

    I take it the £50K debt over and above the mortgage payment is debt to other creditors and not the CSA? If I am right then this has no bearing on his CSA case as this is a financial issue that he has brought upon himself, a very unfortunate situation for you that you married this man without full knowledge of his debt and I understand that this must cause you a great deal of stress. His children still needed to be supported however, and the debt to his child support must be considered his priority debt.

    If your husband’s case is on the old rules system then your income would be taken into account, tax credits are also classed as a tax free income into the household. Your husband will have been issued with regular statements showing the balance of his child support case so if he is claiming that he has been contacted by the CSA ‘out of the blue’ then this is not strictly accurate – it may be that some time has passed where the arrears have not been persued but his last statement would have clearly shown what was outstanding, it was his responsibility to make arrangements with the CSA to make regular payments towards the amount he owed.

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