I will not work to give this man our money

March 21, 2015

I have brought up my son single handed for the last 20 years, his ‘father’ has always been given the opportunity to see him but never wanted to ‘as his wife wouldn’t let him see their children if he sees mine!!’

When my son was 7 I gave up my job to move closer to my family and had to claim benefits for a year or so until I found a new job. I was then told by the benefits people that I HAD TO give my ex’s details to them to make a claim for child support or they would deduct money from my benefits, so I reluctantly gave them the details I had although they were vague as I hadn’t had anything to do with him since my son was a month or so old. The CSA eventually found him and made him start making payments. I never chased them or asked them for anything they would send cheques for odd amounts now and again and eventually started sending me regular amounts that included arrears, every now and then the amounts would change and I would get letters telling me what I was to get and what arrears there were, at one point I was told he owed over £10,000. My son turned 19 and left education and his case was closed, I then got a phone call telling me that they had ‘miraculously’ found some paperwork from years ago and had recalculated everything and there may have been an overpayment made by him.

I have just received a letter telling me that he over paid by £5999.00, they have refunded him and now want it back from me!!!!!! myself and my husband work our backsides off to support my son and our 2 daughters we have spent the last few years paying off any of our debts and have more or less cleared them and now this?! Do I go see a solicitor and how likely are they to enforce this repayment, after all its THEIR mistake NOT MINE!!! I WILL NOT WORK TO GIVE THIS MAN OUR MONEY!! GRRRRR


  • MrWhitey says:

    ‘I have just received a letter telling me that he over paid by £5999.00’

    To be fair, it’s just as likely that your ex has just received a letter telling him that he’s in arrears of £5999.00…never believe a word these self-serving pen pushers say.

  • verity says:

    Firstly…… NEVER asked for a penny….Secondly….. I wouldn’t call spending his money over the last 13 years on OUR son FUN KIDS ARE VERY EXPENSIVE YOU KNOW….thirdly…couldn’t stop the claim if I wanted to the CSA pushed it on to me in the first place…fourthly…if he underpaid?! I wouldn’t know if he underpaid it CSA calculated it all and for months and months throughout the process he never paid …I NEVER CHASED!!! Oh yes i’m incredibly selfish expecting a man to pay for his own…how bloody dare I….and working my arse off to support my own family and pay money to the CSA who cant use a flaming calculator….disgraceful. And my love we pay our taxes ( my son included) fair enough you slagging me off if I sat on my arse claiming what ever I could and getting everything paid for… WE WORK BLOODY HARD TO SUPPORT OUR KIDS. The CSA is a joke I will not go 6 grand into debt for their ERROR. The error dates 2006 -2014…why take so long to sort it out….do your calculations correctly in the first place do not punish someone who has done it all by the book for the last 20 years.

  • gonk says:

    the csa are really a bunch of useless wankers for sure. You wont get away with not paying it back. they are a law un to themselves. But I agree with Ben. If you had known your ex had underpaid you and it was the csa’s fault…you be happy for them to work in your favour then, because you will benefit from it

  • Verity says:

    Sorry Gonk but I wouldn’t chase it cos I never wanted it. Have been told by CSA that there is no law in place that can force me to pay it so all they can do is send me a letter every now and again, have appointment at solicitors tomorrow to see where I stand legally

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