I want to stop my ex seeing his children

92 thoughts on “I want to stop my ex seeing his children”

1. Do you rent your children out to anyone or just the father?

   Shame on you.

2. She’s hardly renting them out……what a disgusting
   comment!! He should be paying for his children, he sounds like he
   wants all the rewards that children can bring to a parent but
   does’nt want to contribute to their life. He puts honest decent
   hardworking NRP’s to shame. No it should’nt be ‘pay per view’ but
   when are these lowlife going to realise that there is more to
   bringing up a child than a few cuddles and kisses. Alot of NRP’s
   would kill for a chance that this loser has of seeing his kids, and
   would be more than happy to contribute moneywise to their up
   bringing.

3. He sees his children via contact center?? Wtf you evil woman share the kids maybe he will help more…

4. word to the wise…don't deny access unless there are other issues (Not sure why this writer has to use a contact centre) and if he is as much of a tosser as you say he is you're children will work that out for themselves, don't EVER lie to them tell the truth and before long your children will make the decision for themselves as to whether they want to have visitation sad as it seems i know.

5. my ex used our child at this game if she didnt get her own way. so i went to court and put the court order in place. but if you stop access in the end it will be more suffering for your children and it could end up back firing in years to come. i have always paid for my child and the CSA have got involved because my ex had got greedy. now i resent paying as being ordered and tention between us is at a all time low. this also has had a bad effect on our daughter. ask you ex if he could take you shopping to buy things instead of giving you money? then he may not feel as bad and you could even get more out of him. i used to do thing with my ex and cost me even more than what i was paying. its an idea.

6. Its sad, too many times the NRP doesn't support their children at all,however,don't withdraw contact even though it may be tempting as it will only hurt your children in the long run. Keep a diary of what is happening,write lettersto the CSA, MP's, write to your ex, email your ex about it, and keep everything. When the kids are old enough you can explain the situation and show them how you tried to deal with it and they can make their own minds up. This is what I will do with my daughter then she can see everything factuall,nothing made up, and let's see how much respect there is at that time. While the kids are young its best not to cause them any unnecessary hurt by stopping contact or even saying bad things about the other parent. My ex is self employed and employs about 11 people in his business that is riding on the crest of a wave, though he hasnt paid a penny since Mar 09. Tempted as I was to withdraw contact I didnt and I'd advise you not to….. you really have to be the mature party here and still let him see his kids as much as it sticks in the throat which it will do for sure. There are lots of good NRP's out there too who do support their kids,it's the minority that aren't any good. In the meantime use your friends and family as much as possible for support. The kids dad will regret his behaviour in the future I am sure of it.such a shame xx

7. If you go to work child care is FREE…And on benifits you get milk vouchers FREE BABY MILK. Keep your children. Stop thinking he is your money tree. Stop useing the children for money. Get a life.

8. Stopping access to the children will make your children suffer more, you shouldn't do that unless your ex poses some sort of danger to them or like he would abduct them etc. Children are not stupid, and they will learn with time (without you having to badmouth their father) that their daddy deliberately didnt want to continue. If he doesnt want to pay, why doesnt he invest the money by buying clothes and nappies for them so he makes sure you wouldnt have the chance to spend that money on urself (if that's what he is scared of). I hate fathers and mothers who selfishly spend all money on themselves ,yet the kids dont have clothes to wear, dont have food to eat, they aint got nappies , furniture they need or school accessories etc. Shame on him! He makes his own kids suffer.

9. continue = CONTRIBUTE* Excuse me, my daughter was sitting on my lap, drawing my attention away. lol Embarrassing..

10. If u get working tax credits, u can claim help with childcare and they gonna pay (upto) 80% of the childcare fees, so long as it's an OFSTED registered nursery or OFSTED registered childminder. So yes, you DO have the option to go to work. Not great money but eventually if you work hard enough, u can get out of poverty.

11. Any PWC who with-holds contact between NRP and their child is a selfish greedy arrogant PWC!!!!! any selfish PWC who uses this 2 gain more money is an arrogant greedy parent who does not deserve to keep those children… An abhorrent PWC who uses and abuses the child of their human rights should not be the PWC!!!!!

12. hmmm yes theres always 2 sides to a story the way it was written sounds just like my partners ex,she complained he wasnt giving her much when we got togehter so i would take his child out to town and buy what i could without leaving my own children out spent money on clothes and trainers,then she decided it wasnt fair she was paying half towards taxi fares,i had to give up work due to illness so we couldnt afford it and spend an extra £50 a weekend on shopping so we said we would only be able to afford to pay half guess what,contact stopped from the following weekend with excuse after excuse and no thnx to my partners twisted mind she's brainwashed the child into thinking he's a nasty dad well we never once saw her in the decent clothes we bought her and always turned up in clothes way to small for her.as i have said to his ex we have proof of her games and when his child is older she will learn the truth and see who lied and caused the contact to stop then see who will be blamed and can gurantee it will be his ex and not him as she is portraying to every1,give the children a chance to have the contact dont go down the rd of where we are at it's not fair on them.trouble with money is its the root of all evil and i know because we have money problems and his ex is sending nasty txts about why he hasnt paid on time to csa because as she once said to me she wants to ruin him

13. Ok, some mothers (PWC) are nasty like that BUT !!!! there are ALSO fathers (NRP) who do not support their children at all, and by this I don't necessarily mean money ,but ANY form of support: buying clothes, nappies, food and other life necessities. My baby's dad didn't even call us to wish his daughter a happy Xmas. He knows our phone number. Why doesn't he call ever then? See, every story has two sides, very true BUT this is NOT an excuse as to why he is not lifting up the bloody phone to dial my number. There you go. Now some people gonna come and say that I am a nasty person and he must be an angel and there must be an excuse as to why he is not interested in his kid. hahaha yeah right…

14. The trouble is, if you do stop contact then it could go to court (especially if it is already in a contact centre).Is it really worth going through all that heartache & expense..which the children will be going though as well??Any judge in the land is going to think you are bonkers..there is a reason why contact & money are kept separate.

15. I note an above comment were it is mentioned …and let's see how much respect there is at that time…. It shouldnt be a war with child and NRP!!!! this would teach the child how to disrespect!!!!Let the child decide!!!!! not cause child to be disrespectful…. such parenting skills would explain this as poor parenting!!!Try compromise rather than cause conflict!!!!

16. u want to go to court because you want more money than what the csa has judged as means tested payment, because u beleive his life style if better than urs, this is so silly, i think ur ex is saying about the weapon using as u complaining about money after the csa has sorted out payment. If u cant work because of children and feel here father leds a better lifestyle , would they be better of living with him , so they have these holidays to and u can work??? Children dont want to know about parents argueing about money, they will grow up and learn who to turn to when required. I think the judge will see u as mad to take it to court for what u said, if u beleive that has more disposable income than orginal accessed ask the csa to check it out for u, bringing up kids is hard but its not the end of the world x

17. also if csa went back to the system where all contributions from non resident parents went in to the the benefit system , u would have none of it as it will be contributing to ur benefit allowance

18. Sylvia, sorry to hear your childs father has not considered even just phoning to say happy xmas…. At least ur there to support her.. keep strong and try not 2 raise the issue with her…

19. Well, thanks Allan. At least my boyfriend is there to be a father figure, a great father figure indeed, supporting her in every way.

20. ylvia…thats good… at least you can be content that your family unit is adequate in the supporting of the emotional and financial welfare of your child!!! be happy that you are rid of your ex…. It'll be your daughter he has to explain himself to… not you….. let yor daughter make her decisions in her own time…

21. I hope he will not fill up her head with crap like "oh I always tried to call u so many times but ur mother never answered the phone". My boyfr will be able to tell her that I never changed my number so her dad could have called us any time but he never did. In 2010 he called me ONCE, that was in february and that was it. Now it's nearly 2011…My daughter already has a lovely 6 weeks younger step sister, they could be twin sister as they even look alike. 🙂 We're gonna have one big family soon. A special family. 🙂

22. twin sisters*

23. u daughter will find out for her self what her father is like when she grows up sometimes the hard way, never deny the fact she has a different father, and continue as you are supporting her and bringing her up in a family full of love x

24. this is true sylvia as long as you have been honest with your daughter she will make her own mind up in time,my partner has been txting his daughter we know she has bad spelling and he's been getting perfectly spelt txts back,so we know who is txting,yes the mother i've tried my hardest to keep the bond there but the mother is twisting everything but as ive said in another post the daughter will see the truth for herself when she's old enough at the moment she is too young to have her head played with her mothers doing enough of that already.what angers me is its not about money its about love for these children why cant pwc who are ranting and raving and looking at ways to get back at nrp grow up and realise these are human beings they deserve to have a choice and pwc should respect that and not stop visits it's about the child not them and their petty arguments!!

25. I would just like to point out. If you get benifits you get CSA on top all of it. 2008 Rules you will now get all of your CSA payments ontop of all your benifits.And don't underestimate your child. Children are not thick. Let her work out for herself. If he fills her head with rubbish later on. She will work out herself who is lieing. It may take time for her to. But you have to have faith in your child. You are all she has. If you stop her seeing her dad she will grow up and hate you for it. Let her find her own way. It will work out in the end. It always does. Good luck. Dont use your child to hurt your ex. That is not right.

26. Michelle, maybe the ex is jealous of you so she tries to give you and your partner hard times.

27. Yes he should chickpea. So should the mother and she doesn’t, but I don’t see anyone wishing to restrict her relationship with her children because of it.

    Silly me, that proviso only applies to fathers of course …….

28. So you are using your children as a bargaining tool?
    What will your children think of you when they have minds of their own?
    Of course the father should contribute more,but by not allowing him to see his children,I doubt if he will contribute one penny.

    Let the father see and get to know HIS (not just your) children,maybe then he will be more interested in them and willing to contribute.
    I could be wrong,but this is the correct and moral way to deal with these people.

29. Broken father – GET HELP!

    Chickpea you are right, as my ex did the same, would say what a great father he was, never went to their secondary school to pick up/take there/school play, etc. etc. didnt pay for anything, would take credit for anything they did, which was done to me and my parents!

    Because my ex, mucked around seeing OUR children, not turning up, turning up late, bringing back early for no valid reason whatsoever, didnt buy them anything, bring them anything, including food and drink. I had to give them packed lunches!! He would favour my son over my daughter, so I went back to court time and time again to get the order changed. He still didnt keep to it and made it clear to me he would continue to muck ME around, I got fed up with picked up the pieces with the kids in tears, so I stopped the contact and asked for supervised visits, I was refused – because he was their father!! So I stopped contact and was in contempt of court, first got verbal warning, then written and told next time I would go to prison. But then the Welfare officer got involved and my kids said they did want to see their father but explained what they wanted, etc., so he was told to do just that, which he didnt, so my children decided to give up hope on him and didnt see him for years, they are both adults now, my daughter sees him but has no respect for him and views him with the same contempt he did her, my son doesnt have any time for him and doesnt see him. So they do see for themselves whats what. You cant stop them seeing their father unless you have enough/valid reasons, yours wont be. Mine was because I felt he was damaging them mentally by abuse, which was just to get back at me through them.

    Its frustrating as I know Ive been there, but all I can say is your children will see what you have done for them and what he hasnt and will judge themselves when they are older. Concentrate on getting justice through getting him to support the children, please join the facebook groups Child Support Agencies Failings and others, for free advice and support, as I have been successful in some ways, compared to others and still fighting for justice for 12 yrs, you are not alone unfortunately, the system lets the children done because whether mother/father/pwc/nrp people abuse the system whilst others who support their children suffer.

    KMcQ79 – if only you were right, but unfortunately for the majority of cases you are wrong.

30. Karen, it’s Brokenfather not Broken father!

    Help for what exactly?

    Do you think it is appropriate for a mother to hold the father to ransom then? Those that do so are the lowest of the low and do not deserve the blessing of children.

    Children are not pay per view you know …..

31. The csa as we know it needs to be scrapped thay dont know there arse from their elbow – these kind of issues have been around since its creation. I was once advised by a customer sevice rep ( i am not a customer thay provide me with no service, i cant choose to use the csa i have to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Customer) the csa computer is never wrong, I work as a pc tech repair 80% of issue are software errors the mighty EDS system (provided by the yanks at a cost 454 million pounds and has never worked) is just a bit of software like any other which can make errors. Thay have powers to wreck someones life childmotherfather words fail me. Every time their is a election no one that i know of ever bring up the subject of the inherent faults of the mighty csa.

32. Dont stop contact..he may well do that on his own, so it wont be on your concience. He may be aselfish bastard , but your kids are not aware of that yet. My ex hasnt paid for 4 years and lives the same lifestyle as yours. It was our eldest boys 12th b'day ystdy and he didnt get an xmas or b'bay card. Its the youngest' in 2 wks and he wont get anything either. The cards were the only contact he made with them. Be a good mother to your children til they go full time school and then get a job during term time..saves on child care and the kids get to spend time with at least one of their parents. Dont rely on him to pay.. your children are young enough for you to make a good life for yourself and if he does put his hand in his pocket thats a bonus. Its hard not to be bitter when there is not enough money to treat your kids, but if he's happy to live his lifestlye knowing his children could be going without.. then shame on him! * Took 2 1/2 hr round trip this morning to give ex a piece of my mind at forgetting his sons b'day ( unknown to boys who been invited to frnds for day- before I get accused of neglect) His neighbour informed me he was on holiday in America and wouldnt be back til 3rd January. Says it all really!

33. i agree with the last statement, no point being bitter and twisted, allow contact and yes you can work and raise children and will be better off. Working family tax credit is designed to get parents back to work ! The government contribute to childcare….have you even looked into this?
    He has nice things cuz he works for them….you can do the same. If he chooses to lose out on his children then that is his choice but I would always allow chidren the privilledge of both parents with or without child support.
    I was a single parent for years and went back to college and got qualifications and now I have a good job and support my two children and don’t need a penny off my ex! good luck…..you can do it too !! 🙂

34. Any PWC who promotes or condones restriction of contact between child and NRP is only thinking about themselves and not about the children involved!!! any PWC who is intent in restriction of contact between NRP and Child does not deserve the right to have the children in their custody… in fact does not havethe right to be a parent..There are women who would be excellent mothers but dont have the privelege of being able to concieve….. such women are more worthy of motherhood than the mother who wrote the original Post!!!!!

35. Allan, i have stopped my daughter going to see her dad who lives over 200 miles away for many reasons. and 1 of them does boil down to money.He used to collect her from my house and took her to his for 2 weeks during school holidays and i used to drive there to collect her. he walked out of his job and claims poverty. he says he cant afford £5 a week. so i have not let my daughter go to his house since. How can he feed her ? He can not afford £5 per week.She eats more than that per fortnight. I refuse to drive up and down the country to collect her and he says he cant afford the petrol to collect her and bring her home TOUGH. i said he can come see her here whenever he likes but for past sixteen months no show.(there are other reasons too) but on money alone i do have a very valid point(so i feel) i am a great mum who is ensuring her daughter is well looked after 52 weeks of each year

36. I suggest compromise…. U clearly comment you are unable to afford the transport and also the NRP appears unable to provide cost of transport… However! I raise question in relation to the money issues you present… this £5 he cannot afford… is that the CSA assessment or your demand?? If CSA have assessed this amount then clearly that is what you would be recieving…. however if like myself as an NRP your ex is nil assessed then that would be due to shared care… if you are recieving the £5 then your child is being provided for…. If an issue of contact is restricted by finance rather than by your demand or desire then it is only an issue of arranging financial compromise for NRP and child contact…My comments of disdain are an issue were PWC is intent in not allowing access!!!!

37. Tracy…your NRP must have gone unemployed for various reasons… is one because he was financially being crippled by yourself or CSA???My concern is relating to were PWC's stop access to GAIN money and for personal vengeance.. not because both parents have financial problems… are you in employment or on benefits.???…

38. for six years he paid 125 a month this was what we agreed when we split up. just before he married sixteen months ago he quit his job and said he was no longer paying a penny. At the time i was working 42 hours a week to pay the mortgage and bills and look after myself and our daughter. with this loss i had to pick up overtime to make up the money which obviously our daughter misses this time with me as i now work 50 hours a week.His wife sat my daughter down (aged 9) and explained daddy needs to go on holiday after he gets married and so cant afford to pay mummy any more.He changed his name (leaving my daughter with the same surname as nobody)and sent her a cheque which bounced for her birthday.I went to csa and they awarded £5 a week as he was on benefits. After 8 months he was £95 in arrears. Each time the money did not go in my account i called csa asked why ,got told the benefits agency had stopped the claim and said i could reapply . after the third time i stopped the claim as my money and time was being spent chasing £5. He does not have shared care he lives at the other end of the country and had her for 4 weeks a year 2 at summer 1 at easter and 1 in october (which he stopped three years ago)meaning he had her for only three weeks.he does not help with clothing. or any thing. he says he left his job because it was stressful. he does not appear to have financial problems his wife runs a successful business and they seem to enjoy life. I dont see why i should get in my car and drive 1 mile to take her to see him if he does not support her.

39. oh and the £125 he paid was agreed in 2003 when his wage was £1300 a month. I assume his wage went up over the years . the support did not. I was more than happy with that provision for my daughter and dont feel it was an excessive amount. I never asked for more for anything and i provide well for her .

40. Hmmm! there are a few discrepancies you raise in your comments… CSA automatically deduct £5 from benefits as direct link to DWP… CSA would already have taken those deductions from start of claim….Fact!His wife has successful business? what benefits is your ex in reciept of??you made an accusation in your comment yet I dont see how you could provide evidence of the following statement you make regarding your ex's wife……….His wife sat my daughter down (aged 9) and explained daddy needs to go on holiday after he gets married and so cant afford to pay mummy any more…. this comment seems a little odd and makes a more than sincere impression of your distaste towards your ex's wife…. and appears to be an issue were you comment that your ex (on benefits may I add) has to pay for holidays….. how does anyone on benefits afford holidays?????So if your ex is on benefits…. and CSA would have started already making deductions from his benefits, are you recieving it or not.???? If not.. why not.. he isnt to blame…. who made the 200 mile move away and who stayed where?????.. Benefits agency do not stop the claim, the CSA are in the control seat… is it more to the truth that the CSA just have not paid you although they have the power to make deductions before he recieves his benefit??the money gains interest while banked before it goes to PWC… the longer it sits, the more interest the government fatgat makes in interest… niether PWC, NRP or child benefits from this interest gained while it sits in the government purse… It seems you are hell bent in hurting the NRP because he is unable to afford the transportation cost, maybe the cheque bounced when CSA took a huge chunk before he could work finances adequately… you appear to be making a judgement without asking him if CSA are taking deductions from his benefits or not and for what reason either way!!!

41. csa said they can only pay me when the money has been deducted from him. They said he must have been stopping and re starting his benefits claim.I dont know why i was not getting the money the arrears still stand today.He says he recieves jsa.My evidence regarding the conversation she had with my daughter was a text from her saying "i have explained to ………. and she says she does not want any money and wants us to enjoy our honeymoon.Now im off to pack my case bitch"my daughter then told me what she said when she came home .my daughter was a bridesmaid at their wedding so its hardly me having sour grapes. I would love to know how he could afford a two week cruise followed by two weeks in bulgaria.Who knows?The cheque bounced while they were on their honey moon and as you say they take £5 a week not lump sums.Funny though the cheque was in a totally different name not his surname or his wifes surname but a totally different surname.Oh and he beat me throughout my pregnancy and weekly untill he battered me with a phone when our daughter was three. so i kicked him out. he then got a flat three doors away from mine.he worked mon-fri i workrd fri sat sun mon. He began to refuse to have my daughter saying "i always have to have her on my weekend off work" what i could not get through to him was that i had her on my weekend off work but my weekend just happened to be midweek. As he still wanted his clubbing nights. After missing work and wages i was struggling to pay the mortgage. My parents asked me to live with them while i got on my feet so i moved. I could have been bitter back then due to the violence but was not he saw her untill 2 weeks before her 10th birthday.i have 147 texts from his wife on my phone one of which says "my ex has signed over the 5 bed house to me and you are not touching the money bitch" another reads"me and … laugh our heads off at you you baby looser"(after i had lost three babies and burried 1 as she was late term)the last night my daughter was in his care (his wedding night)i got a text at 3 in the morning saying "me and you will meet tomorrow bitch and ill fucking wipe the floor with you" me and my husband were shocked to say the least. so it appears she has an issue with the life long bond i have with my ex. why am i punishing him for not being able to afford transport. do you suggest i drive to the other side of the country (while working 50 hours a week) to drop her off and then go and collect her a week later?ha ha i hardly think so. The courts will see the texts which i have saved. they can see the cheque that bounced and hopefully some one will look into their dodgy dealing as she goes by 3 differant surnames and he uses two different names . so they are probably conning the country only they know. i have chosen to have the courts assess this case if he ever applies to court for an order. the only things i know have been text to me from his wife. am i to believe her or not?as i said in an earlier post there are many reasons i have stopped her going there only one is down to money. At xmas he asked my daughter what she wanted , she told him and he said ok what colour do you want?she told him. then 3 weeks before xmas he called her mobile and she did not answer as she was on a guides trip. he then sent a text saying i am not getting you the present i will send a hundred pound gift card. two days later he said he was sending a fifty pound voucher. Is it right to make promises to your kids then break them cos she did not answer her phone?(his wife told me it was cos she did not answer the phone)if i had a problem with his wife as you suggested then why did i let my daughter be a brides maid? if i am evil why did i let him see my daughter after the violence? he can afford the journey to take her to his home town but not to come see her. I dont have an address so dont know where my daughter would be i think the courts will be the best judges in all this

42. so was 125 pm out of his 1300 take home pay excessive you failed to comment.how do you suggest he sees his daughter?

43. Withdrawing contact won't make him pay, but will give him an opportunity to tell your children you stopped him from seeing them. And the courts would not look favourably on your decision. You do not say why contact is through a centre, but having visited these places many times through my work this must be stressful for such small children, don't make things even worse for them.If you feel his true income has not been declared apply for a variation or a departure based on his lifestyle. I understand your anger towards this man that has left you with the full responsibility of two small children but don't hurt them trying to hurt him.There is life after separation, you just need to get out there and find it. There's an abundance of help available for single mothers with childcare and training for future employment, but the motivation and willing has to come from yourself. You've obviously got very supportive parents who will help you.The chances are the type of man you describe would probably tire of these children in the future anyway, and as your children get older they will form their own opinion of him and make their own choices.Dont be reliant on anyone but yourself for yours and your childrens future. It is hard but thousands of us do it, you׳ ll know where you stand financially, your children will respect you for it and any monies you do receive from your ex will be a bonus. Your time and emotions are wasted on this man, concentrate on being the best mum possible. Dont allow yourself to be aware of his situation, that's just rubbing salt in the wounds and giving him an element of importance in your life.

44. Tracy, violence and abuse is a good reason, so long as it aint about money… the abuse…I feel for you, as for your ex,he aint a man..!!!No he shouldnt break promises but is the £5 of any real benefit to you… as for stopping and starting JSA…. Is it really worth what he's doing as it'll all count as arrears when he finds employment and then he'll really suffer, It could well be the woman who has an issue with you for having a life connection but surely she knew this when they got 2gether…. if it is an issue with her mind… she's probably pussywupped him, then you'll probably find them splitting at some point…and he'll have 2 lots of maintenance 2 pay out…All the best Tracy… just focus on ya child rather than the cash!!!! else you'll just wind yaself up and that aint good for the child!!!

45. leave access arrangements open but let the courts take control and decide… over what your ex should be paying… but let ya child see you allowed contact.. he'll show how much he cares or not and your child will be able 2 decide whether she wants contact or not… Do not close contact because you want to, closecontact when and cos your child wants nothing to do with her father….

46. as i said i told him he can visit her here when ever he likes but he says he is not coming to this "shit hole" i even offered him half the petrol to pay her a surprise visit at xmas. he refused. i will not take her there.I stopped my csa claim in october when he was at £95 arrears for that exact reason .it was not worth the hassle. It all went sour just before his wedding when he called crying asking to speak to our daughter. i said she was in bed as he was drunk and upset as his future wife had kicked him out. i was very kind i calmed him down told him not to drink any more and to get some sleep(as this was when he became violent to me) i said things will be better in the morning.i said i would get our daughter to call him the next day , which she did and he thanked me for the help. I have said that even if he gave me 100 a week i still need him to take steps before my daughter goes there such as her having a bedroom, me knowing where she is,for them to talk to her about appropriate topics (not child support)him not going to the pub just for that time she is there.ensuring she does not eat sweets all week . And him telling his missis that he has a duty to his child like it or lump it, I never bad mouthed him to our daughter about his violence. she asked about it once when she was young and i said "mummy and daddy cant get along living together but can be friends apart. she accepted that.i truly feel i have been reasonable . i just want my daughter to be happy and safe and preferably to see her dad . he just needs to pull his finger out. i have sent a mediation form and £20 to the local mediators for my first appointment and i hope he will also agree to mediation . if not it will have to go through the courts not good but necessary

47. Hi takesTheMick,

    CSA and contact issues are not connected.
    In general there are far too many non resident parents who are denied contact with their children. Those children end up being the victims of adult wars and disagreements.

    If you feel that your ex is living a lifestyle that is inconsistent with their income, then you can appeal to the CSA who will investigate. If found in your favour, then his liability will be increased to reflect such.

    Your welcome to drop by the forum at afairercsaforall, you are certainly not on your own.

    chall

48. U do right!!! If only all PWC's could be as reasonable as you appear to be!!!! Unfortunately, ther are PWC's who make up similar stories in order to take revenge as contact issues are important to many NRP's who do want to have contact and provide both emotionally and financially for their child…. but some PWC's abuse the law and the childs rights for both emotional and financial revenge on their ex… it is wrong and abhorrent when stories are made up by PWC's to impress on family law courts that the PWC being a victim and the child at risk of being a victim of abuse…I am not saying your story is untrue, I just hope you are being truthfull for the sake of your child and yourself respectively!!!

49. oh its all true …..unfortunatly. look at it this way , when she went to see her dad it was a nice little break for me. A week where i could blow caution to the wind and have no responsability, no body saying, can i have can i have lol.being a full time parent and working 50 hours a week is hard work.Stopping her going to see him without good reason is simply chopping off my nose to spite my face. If i thought i was in the wrong in any way i would not embarrass myself by being selfish. I believe i am a good mum and am working to ensure my daughters best interests are being met .

50. Tracy… we all have to accept the child has needs… can I have… is a childs repetition of cause..lolI have never said your story is untrue, I can only summise that you tell the truth and I make no judgement… I just hope that things work out for you…It can be a pleasure tohave a break, unfortunately there are many NRP's who wish they could provide the PWC with a break from the child/children but there are PWC's who are using their children to gain maximum maintenance payments by calculation of CSA assessments and such assessments based on NRP's shared care or resticted care of their child caused by PWC's who are hellbent on revenge and in order to achieve their satisfaction prevent child and NRP contact as this will and does hurt the NRP's who want to provide financial and emotional care for their child!!!!!!