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I want to live with my dad but my mum won’t let me
Im 17 years old and have lived with my mother since she split from my dad when I was just turning four. I haven’t had the best relationship with my mum although she sometimes thinks different! Begining of this year, I stayed with my dad for two weeks and didnt see my mum as we’d had a row, I have wanted to live with my dad for a few years now but im scared to tell my mum, also apparently she has a recidency order over me til I am 18 this november so I cant change where I live.
Personally I hate the whole csa because I feel thats the only reason my mum wants me living with her, as she does like money? I could do with a few answers? Email please?
4 thoughts on “I want to live with my dad but my mum won’t let me”
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Hi Lauren,
This link may assist you, there’s a phone number at the end of it that you can ring to gain advice. http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/userfiles/file/Residence%20leaflet.pdf
chall ~ afairercsaforall
I’m pretty sure you can make up your own mind at the age of 16 where you want to live, a court wouldn’t ignore your request if it went that far. My partners daughter left home at 16, similar situation to yours and the mother couldn’t do a thing to stop her.
Hi Lauren.
It is very simple, but difficult. The simple fact is you are at an age where you can choose to live on the moon if you so wish. Your mother having a residency order for you does not mean that she owns you. If you choose to live with your dad and he is agreeable, go and live with him.
The difficult part. Your mum’s reaction. She may report the matter to Social Services, their only concern and there legal duty is to ensure that you are not putting yourself in danger. At 18 even that premise disappears unless you are deemed a vulnerable adult. What is a more important issue is your present and long term relationship with your mother. In all of this emotional turmoil, someone has to be the adult, and take an adult view. The grass may seem greener on the other side especially as your relationship is strained at the moment. However you must do what you feel is right for you and please try to listen what advice people who you trust offer you. You can either accept it or reject it, but please let your decision be an informed one and not one based on emotion alone.. I wish you all the best no matter where you end up residing.
Hi Lauren,
You’re words speak volumes to us parents caught up in this tragic CSA mess. For what is possibly to come in our future.
It really is hard to understand why a mother would choose “money or what “financial gain” she can get at the cost of the children. It’s so sad but is truly outthere and a great lifestyle for many.
We are only starting this journey and I wish you well. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Good luck,
Brian