I want to buy my children things they need

April 6, 2012

My wife asked em to leave the family home for a few nights on April 20th, divorce papers landed on my desk on the 23rd with the addition of billing me for re-entering my own house and the threat of taking out an order in the region 2k, so pre planned I would say?.

I paid her via direct debits £1460.00 month one £817.00 month two always covering the mortgage!. However today I had the CSA on asking all the correct questions but only caring about the children with blinkers on, the poverty I am left in although already paying well in excess of any figure they want does not let me support the children if my ex keeps going. My access to the children is restricted by my ex to a time and place of her choice (normally 1-2hrs a week unfair!!) plus she clock watches all the time. she has blatantly withheld any information about their lives and informs me of nothing. my point is the CSA only look at figures, your earnings and your payment. NOT the fact that you pay the mortgage and other bills to keep a roof over the kids heads and your ex decides not to work!. I would love to have my kids & buy them stuff plus take them out but the CSA help my wife take more money and DONT support the children in any key areas like emotion and full contact/bonding with the outcast person.

My point again is I WANT to buy the kids stuff, I want to treat them to trips, BUT the CSA give more money to my wife who can spend it where she likes which in turn means I have less to be with the kids, it’s not balanced & based on individual factors enough!!.

I must say the lady I had on was extremely helpful and I hope it all goes the way it did yesterday.

Conrad Earll

Comments

  • This is just awful you sound like a good parent and your ex is being very controlling over the time you have with your children. Don,t put up with it go to court or mediation and insist on more time with your kids, she will have to agree or have a very good and valid reason why not. If the csa are slating you and the payments are to much contact NACSA they are very good at helping you with csa and not that expensive like solicitors.
    The csa are an absolute nightmare to deal with so best to have someone on your side. Mothers who play god with there children really annoy me. I have had nothing from my daughters dad for 18 years and he is a multi millionaire BUT I have never stopped or restricted contact.
    Hope this helps fight for your rights remember they are your children to and if you were/are married by law you have joint parental responsibility and she will have to allow that. All the best stay strong and dont give up or allow her to dictate to you. All the best

  • Carol says:

    Surely if you are paying the mortgage the CSA should be taking this into account? Maybe you have to ask for a variation taking this into account.

    CSA don’t care about your financial circumstances. There are posts on here from people who have had to sell their homes because of the CSA which is despicable. They only care about getting money in at any cost. They also don’t care if you are seeing your children or not and for that you would have to see a solicitor unfortunately which again is more costs.

    Good luck with your fight

  • linda says:

    I really don,t understand how the CSA work? seems this father is paying way over the top…does the wife work? how old are the kids? do the kids get a say in whether they see their father more or not? I have care of my grand daughter she,s a lovely girl..she,s 17 she goes to college her father has paid nothing for her…Long story, but 4 weeks ago the csa wrote and said they,ve worked out that because he pays for another child younger than my grand daughter then he can only pay 5 pound…but that was 4 weeks ago ,,,has he paid it..NO!!! he doesnt even give her any pocket money we are living on a knives edge,,,its difficult,,I wish I could win the lottery then I could tell him to stick the poxy fiver up his squeaky a—..trouble is its so tight and squeaky nothing would fit…

  • Conrad Earll says:

    My case above just gets better & better, My ex has now got the CSA on to me as I reduced her monthly payment by the car loan I have been paying for since Feb 2012 that she thought in her naive mind had been paid off, I pay £87.00 pcm so she can ride around in the car and the only adjustment the CSA will make to me for that is £5.00pcm.

    My ex has not let me see my children to take them out since Feb2012 and still expects me to help her pay for stuff I shouldn’t. People out there!, DO NOT get a personal loan for another and let them have the log book in their name, they will screw you like my ex and the CSA are!.

    I ring tonight to speak to my children and she does nothing to get them to talk to me. she said on the phone last week she is so hard up she is going to center parcs to celebrate her divorce, I bet the CSA dont take a holiday into account oh no it’s all about screwing the father who works all bloody day so women like my ex can give up work and do sod all but claim off the state or benefits system that throws money around.
    I think all out cast parents should quit their jobs and see how the CSA would cope then wouldn’t that be great?. Well she has shafted me now and got away with it well done for assisting her CSA, I thought it was all in aid of the children?.

    When will the cash in hand she received come into play?, oh no that’s right the CSA wont bother checking on that as they can screw the father as that’s easier!.

    I want it known now, All I want is to see my children and be a father as natural as can be, but I have to fight almost every day for that right and have lost for the last ten months!!!, and the CSA don’t make it any easier!, when oh when will someone see some fathers want to pay more but get had over by women that have three holidays in the first year of separation and get an expensive dog and insure and feed it,

    I just want to see my children.
    Please stop the CSA it isn’t working!!!. put something fair for everyone in it’s place, if the mother/father denies access or is unjust in any way stop her money or make her do community service instead of lunching.

    My children have no father because of being withheld, what good is that doing them in school or life, ask yourself that CSA!.
    🙁

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