I pay my disabled daughter’s care allowance to my ex husband through CSA
After receiving a letter last week on how to spend my disability/carers allowance and I rang to clarify with DWP and it was stated to me that monies paid to me as a full time carer were for my daughter and this was made very clear . Her allowances received to me do not cover what I pay monthly for her even sanitry towels cost me £40.00 and I don’t begrudge her a penny. I would never dream of spending any of her ‘life’ money on anything other than my child but it has been seen fit to hand it over to a criminal directly out of Violets income.
I have a query as my ex husband who has no contact with Violet Mayes by her own choice and has told him and her special needs school. He has my older two children in his other house as the grass is greener when your a teenager and dad is wealthy and he has claimed through CSA part of Violets allowance to pay for one of my girls that lives with him.
Effectively this makes Violet the provider of the income to her dad to keep her sister. Bear in mind Violets dad has a criminal conviction for benefit fraud so hardly the most trustworthy of people.
I find this totally unacceptable that this was allowed as I do not work as I have to be to Violet within 10 minutes of a seizure and my income comes from a rental that keeps a roof over our head and food on the table and Violet and my other child are my priority.
Where it has been seen fit to award a multi millionnaire who is purely being spiteful in his attitude towards me and using my children. I am now having to spend time going through my divorce papers which are painful as I divorced him for sexual assault and domestic violence to prove he is lying over his income to CSA as he claims he earns £80.00 a week and is now being investigated by Inland Revenue as his sums do not add up for 8 houses, 2 garages, a fleet of minibuses, an ebay business etc.
An absolute joke is being made of parents that are honest and the ones that are purely abusing the system.
Regards
12 thoughts on “I pay my disabled daughter’s care allowance to my ex husband through CSA”
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Have you not put in your own counterclaim to the csa for your daughter that lives with you? Unfortunately this is what is happening to nrps and 2nd families everyday…if you get no joy with the csa then see your mp.
I have put in a counterclaim and heard nothing back as yet and I have also sent a copy to the DWP its a very unfair situation and I received nothing from him the time I supported all four of my daughters. It just seems the law is a bit of a farce and then the CSA tell you that £5 a month is a minimum payment from me but because he lies about his income he only gets to pay £20.00 a month for two of my girls … Its an absolute joke …
keep on at the csa, you hear of them sitting on people’s cases for years with no work being done on them…mine being one of them…if you feel like you are not getting anywhere, write a letter of complaint, keep all your paperwork and go and see an mp. I’m shocked he’s even put a case in on you, seeing as you both have two children each?? And as for taking your disability allowance for a child, his child is morally wrong…csa do this with 2nd families tax credits too, even when the pwc has their own entitlement in place, the whole system is wrong. Hope you get somewhere, and you are not alone
The times I have been hung up on … I am shocked the CSA can even take from a child … She has a really rare condition and alot of children die from it and he calls her the retard … I am fighting so hard and I am a strong woman but have had a few days of tears over this and hence he is being called to court on Friday for an Injunction because his greed is not his only crime and my girls are sick of it … I am heartbroken and all the mums that you think ‘have your back’ allow their children to go and stay at his house and party and he is now planning yet another holiday … not bad for a man supposedly on £80.00 a week …. His last have been South Africa and America for several weeks … I wish reality would kick in with the CSA …
Reality and the CSA do not go together unfortunately.
As Jay says get your MP involved. It is scandalous really what this Agency gets away with.
He yesterday was served with papers to attend court for an injunction tomorrow … The poor man had to sit outside his house for hours knowing he was there seeing and hearing him and he refused to open his door … He has now been served and I will be seeing his cowardly arse in Court tomorrow …
Response to my request for an injunction against my ex:
Case Number NR12F00827
In reply to Ms Mayes’ application for a non-molestation order of 1 mile against me:
As stated to District Judge Royall at the Court hearing 24/8/12: Ms Mayes’ request is pointless and putting it mildly, will cause me inconvenience due to my work transporting pupils to and from Old Buckenham High School which falls within 1 mile of the former family home, which I purchased in 2002, where Ms Mayes, her latest partner and our two youngest daughters live.
I have no intention of visiting or desire to return to the former family home.
It is unbelievable that Ms Mayes is only now applying for this order, nearly four years after she petitioned me for divorce. This application is just another in a long list of incidents, attempted intimidation, harassment, complaints and time & money wasting against friends, colleagues, tenants, Solicitors, Police, Breckland Council, myself and the two eldest children who live with me.
In fact, I have had to apologise to many people for her actions over the last 20 years – the man previously referred to as ‘Convenient’ and an ‘Idiot’ apologising for the woman referred to as ‘Dangerous’ and a ‘Rottweiler’.
The last time I went to the house was 19/3/12 to meet our second eldest daughter Rosie (DOB: 23/9/95) carrying some of her possessions after she phoned me in tears stating she had decided to live with me and her older sister Holly (DOB: 24/2/94) because her mother and partner had aggressively shouted at her and she did not feel welcome or happy at home.
Within the week Ms Mayes disposed of all Rosie’s remaining property/clothes from her bedroom, including 40 hours of GCSE artwork, cancelled her place at Wymondham College Sixth Form and is now withholding Rosie’s passport. Ms Mayes has not spoken directly to her since.
Holly decided to come to live with me 27/9/09 due to Ms Mayes’ unpredictable behaviour and strangers being ‘entertained’ during the day and night in the house. Ms Mayes has not spoken directly to her since.
Please see Holly’s attached statement given to ACT Solicitors in August 2009 while she was still living with Ms Mayes – this shameful statement gives an independent view of the facts and was prepared, but not used, for a case against me, which fortunately for Ms Mayes was dropped before it started due to no evidence, in which she would have been destroyed by my barrister. It has not been seen by Ms Mayes until now.
Ironically it was suggested to me 15/3/12 that I should consider obtaining a Non-Molestation Order against Ms Mayes and her partner by one of the Police officers attending the forcible entry of 34 Castle Street, Thetford in a failed attempt to remove my property from the building, in order to prevent a repeat of this incident in which her partner caused over £1,000.00 damage. (I believe Ms Mayes has filed a complaint against that officer).
I have a County Court Order NR08D01418 dated 26/3/10 and Land Registry Charge NK228654 dated 11/2/11 against this property which Ms Mayes chooses to ignore. Only last week I received a letter from her dated 12/9/12 giving me until 21/9/12 to remove my property from the building.
Most people who come into contact with Ms Mayes initially find her very convincing but in time question her mental health. The contents of these latest statements and Ms mayes’ unpredictable behaviour only confirms what I have been insisting for years that she needs professional help with her issues caused by many years of alcohol abuse and smoking cannabis.
I believe Ms Mayes’ issues started in 2002 when she had a difference of opinion with her mother around about the time we were relocating to Old Buckenham. She made a point of not telling her mother, father and brother when or where we were moving to. She has had no contact with them since.
I have recently learnt that her parents found out the new address a couple of years later and drove past a few times but did not call in. Her father had been treated for cancer for many years and later died without seeing his grandchildren or daughter again – she did not attend his funeral.
In reply to all the irrelevant allegations against me:
All the allegations, including a few new ones listed in her latest statement and several old ones omitted, started in 2008 shortly after I discovered Ms Mayes had been adulterous, I also learnt from a conversation that one of her sexual partners was concerned she was pregnant with his child – a black DJ she met in a night club. They are factually incorrect and I suggest a more appropriate stage for Ms Mayes to address her rants would be the Jeremy Kyle tv show not a Court of Law. In summary:
I have been patient for the last four years while Ms Mayes has chosen to prolong, complicate, dramatise, bicker and waste my time and money over every aspect of her divorce from me. To date she has managed to cost me over £20,000.00 in unnecessary solicitors fees for what should have been a simple, quick and low cost divorce, basically consisting of the transfer of two properties – which she still refuses to cooperate with.
Ms Mayes should actually be grateful that after entering into our marriage in 1992 with nothing and never having to work she has managed to leave an adulterous marriage with an award of a £500,000.00 house and 3 rental properties.
This allows Ms Mayes to maintain her ‘stay at home’ status combined with the benefit payments she receives: carers allowance and disability living allowance for our youngest daughter Violet (DOB 20/7/99), child benefit, child tax credits etc, combined with her partner claiming working tax credits for our children and paying her mortgage.
I will now be applying to enforce the transfer of property as per the 2010 Financial Order.
The repayment of money to me, as agreed by Ms Mayes, for financially helping her 2008-2010. New kitchen fitted in her rental flat. My vehicles, tools & plumbing stock sold from the former family home without my permission. My half of the £9,000.00 shares not declared to the Court on her financial statement Form E and sold in April 2012. Damage caused to property by her partner.
I also now have the unenviable task of having to apply for a Contact Order so Holly, Rosie and I can see the youngest daughter Violet, who has special educational needs and does not fully understand what is happening. Ms Mayes has refused to let us have any form of contact since February 2012.
Up until that point, Rosie had very much, unfortunately, acted as a go-between, but this did have the benefit of keeping contact with Violet.
As stated above, Ms Mayes is a regular and heavy drinker. On numerous occasions she has drunk sufficient to either pass out or sleep very heavily and Violet, who suffers from fitting will need urgent attention if she is taken ill. Whilst her older two sisters were living at the former matrimonial home, they were able to step in and deal with any urgent issues, if Ms Mayes was either out or unavailable due to alcohol abuse. This is no longer the case.
Violet now lives at the home with only one sister – Lily (DOB 28/1/98). I assume her sister would assist Violet if necessary, but it is such a long while since I have lived at the home, I cannot be sure of the situation, nor what would occur if her sister was away from the home.
Ms Mayes’ selfish actions of satisfying her own ‘needs’ and deciding to end a comfortable marriage without considering the consequences & damage it would cause to the children is unforgivable.
Anthony Mayes
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Wow…. there is always two sides to every story… i’m completely confused though….
Be a victim of sexual assault and domestic violence…………and there is only one side.
Oh Sally!! I posted that from A Mayes it was to show the lies that he has told nothing he has put is factual down to the fact he mentioned my Dad who died of cancer and couldn’t leave the house as he was on oxygen. It was to show how low a dead beat dad would go x
Wow,i am glad I found this, I honestly think Elaine does need help. I do know her, and can confirm a few of the statements made here
Regarding my above statement … Violets father took me to Court for visitation to Violet admitting he did not want custody but wanted to claim her DWP … The Judges panel saw through him and the hideous things he said about me and put in place an ORDER OF NO CONTACT against him … goes to show the truth comes out, my Doctor even confirmed I was a mother of good character … he still fights the CSA to pay nothing and the loophole of claiming working tax credits illegally has allowed him to pay next to nothing for my children … DEAD BEAT DAD!