I never wanted money but CSA pursued my ex regardless

August 2, 2010

Well, im stunned at the venom on these pages-i started surfing to find out more about csa cases to see what my ex was going through and i stumble on a lot of very scary sounding, warped and angry men. One comment- EVERYBODY is different, you cannot tar a gender with such generalised spite.

My case, in brief, i seperated from partner years past, the csa began chasing him to support my daughter when i was unemployed for a time, i eventually returned to work but they continued chasing my ex for payments.

Proud as he was, he did not tell me the hassle he was getting- but i heard from a friend he was going to recieve a custodial sentance in 2008. I got a lawyer and sent a letter to csa stating DO NOT PURSUE for any payments on my behalf as i do not want to take what he hasn’t got.

My ex was an alcoholic, not abusive, just depressive, and it broke my heart to see him waste his life wi vodka and dope. i loved him as the father of my child- why would i want to have someone i cared for go to jail or be hassled by baliffs? He has recently died. I am heartbroken, for myself and my child and what could have been.

The csa kept chasing him- not for funds to me and my child but for their own court/administration costs! Thousands! I feel so sorry for him that the csa felt the need to continue the harassment of my ex.

I never wanted his money, just his time. Sadly with his addictions there wasnt enough time.

I hope that all you angry guys take a deep breath and a step back- be the bigger person than your ex. Play it cool, keep calm and dont let on it bothers you. That will irritate your ex if she bad news more than anything-ranting and raving just what that type of women want to prove your a bad dad. Be honest with the csa/courts- you will find a lot more sympathy if you stay reasonable and cool- more likely to listen to how you feel, your side.

But, really life is too short, my ex died suddenly at age of 39. If you can, get on good terms, or it will hurt forever if you part ill.


  • Karl Garrett says:

    If your a bloke, you have to remember these three little phrases… Shut up, Put up & Cough up.

    It’s easy to be “calm” when you don’t have your life, home & sanity ripped apart by greedy women, from which you cannot defend yourself!

    The CSA should be shut down – NOW, & let solicitors do the job of “commonsense” payments.

  • chall says:


    If you were claiming benefits, the agency use to pursue – child support owed by / collect from your ex, during that period would be off set against the benefits you claimed.
    Depending which scheme you were on would depend on whether you were entitled to receive either zero OR £10 per week from the received amount.

    Most OR all of the arrears accrued from the period you were in receipt of benefits would therefore be owed to the Secretary of State, not yourself, and would remain collectable.

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