I may have missed out on 10 years of my child’s life, all they care about is the money

February 22, 2014

Ok, June last year (2013) a letter lands on my mat from the CSA saying a claim has been made for a daughter I had absolutely no idea about, obviously I was shocked by the news so I rang them, instead of any advice or help I was more or less threatened with prison, losing my driving license and/or my house.

I know the girl that has made the claim and yes we had a brief fling so now I start to panic. The CSA had already ‘presumed’ parenthood and once again I received threatening phone calls and letters, now here’s the twist, this poor child is TEN years old and this is the first I have heard about it. I hid all this from my fiancé as I was scared that it would put an end to our relationship but in the end I decided I had to come clean, no secrets right???? She was understanding and supportive and helped me to get things in perspective. I have asked for a DNA test to actually prove beyond doubt that this poor kid is mine, if it is then I will pay my way, rightly so but , who compensates the fathers of these kids???

Ten years is a very long time to have missed out on, it will impact on my family, not only financially but emotionally aswell, I have asked this question to the CSA who don’t seem to give two fucks, all they are interested in is the money. Surely there must be some law that gives potential fathers some sort of rights???? Imagine not knowing you had a child out there and finding out from some faceless heartless system TEN years down the line. This is all too much and I can see why certain fathers crack. Somebody help.


  • Tania says:

    I am really sorry to hear this has happened to you. Agencies like the CSA have created an image of absent fathers being these uncaring lotharios who just want to sew their seed and run. This is grossly unfair and totally inaccurate. The one without the soul is the mother who clearly has no respect for anyone’s feelings, not even her own child’s.
    Sadly, you will be wasting your time with the CSA. What I do know is that you do not pay a THING until the DNA has been sorted, because from what I gather from other posts, if you pay you are taking responsibility and you’ll be hard pressed to get that money back should this girl turn out not to be yours.
    As for compensation? Forget it. Women are allowed to perjure themselves, lie in court, make false allegations, use malicious reporting and vexatious litigation and get absolutely NO comeuppance when it’s all proved to be false.
    Don’t get yourself twisted up in something that won’t happen. Concentrate on the future and what you want to do when the results come back.
    Sorry I couldn’t give you a more positive answer 🙁

  • jo says:

    You can’t solely blame the csa here, fault lies with the pwc who didn’t have the guts to tell you….she is the one who’s played with your life and that of the child. I think getting a dna is the way forward and then see a solicitor about contact if that’s what you want if the child is yoyrs. Unfortunately csa is only about maintenance and have to act on a claim made by the pwc. Good luck.

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