I just tried to do the right thing

September 26, 2014

Hi, thank god I found this site. Hope someone can help. So a woman I was seeing told me she was pregnant but wasn’t sure who the dad was, the other man was at the birth but when he was born she eventually said he was mine.

She agreed to a Dna as long as she could sort it and she never showed me the results even though I paid for it. I started seeing the child and csa called me and “demanded” I paid so I thought I’d do the right thing.

I’m not on the birth certificate also. Every time I tried to move on to new relationships she would tell me I’m not the dad so closed the csa a few times. Then when the child was 2 she decided I was the dad again and the csa called again to say I have to pay again, the csa told us she may not be able to open the case again because she was messing them about too many times, so we complained to them and to say they can’t keep doing this.

A solicitors said it would cost me 5 to 10k to fight to see him in court because I’m not on the birth certificate and because my partner worked but we have other children and just couldn’t do it. The complaint went on for 2 yrs and I chased and chased it but the last woman (apparently high up in the csa) who said she was looking into the case said pls leave it with me and if you don’t hear back it’s a closed case and I am not the dad!

5 yrs later I get a letter saying I need to start paying. I called them and they said the case is there but it’s not open so they need to look into it. Then last week the big guys in the csa called me and said they have found an application from 2009 and it has to be open from then and I am the father! The boy is not 8! So we have to start paying 10k back and weekly amounts staring this week.


  • King Canute says:


    As you now know you can’t trust the CSA on anything.

    You would have been better getting the money to pay a good lawyer to fight your case – at least everything would have been documented (although no guarantee of success).

    You paid for the DNA test -start with that.

    Never put your trust in the CSA. Take charge and get it sorted.

  • >