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I feel I should end it after getting demand from CSA

January 2, 2013

My name is Andrew pulham. I don’t think i can carry on! i am having treatment from frimley park and i am not well. But i have recieved a demand for money from the csa and i feel i should end it. I have asked for your help before with the csa and you helped, but they did’nt take any notice of you, or me and treated my worse afterwards, with hate ,because i got you involed, whats happened this time, with all honestly i tell you, in june last year my csa payments which were taken by court order, direct from my employeer stopped, I had no control over this.

I asked my employer, The Meads shopping centre Farnbourough, Mr peter mooman what was going on! has something happened to my son!. I was told some days later by peter that the csa have removed my name from the lists they had, and they had phoned them, and was told, Sarah wilson had no longer requested any payments from me! in november i lost my job, Then in december i was employed by sainsburys. So in december i received aletter from csa, in December asking for employer and staff number this i pervidded and sent the letter back. I THEN HEARD NOTHING MORE, so i had money to give to sarah so i tryed to contact her , and get pictures of my son and pay some money, I was told she was getting marriyed and changing roberts surname, against my wishes, and she did,nt want my money. The guildford police arrived at my door, Two male officers at first, then two female officers then finally a female officer, i had spoken and answered the door to all, also received two telephone calls asking was this andrew pulham, the police also went to my parents house, twice!.

And they did this to give me a notice to stop all contact with sarah, by email. and do not approach robert ever! as he has requested never to see me again, or go near on on the road of their home address, this was wrote down and i had to sign a notice, which i did , i was also told roberts name was being changed and legally i had no rights, so my contact from my son had ended that day, for life, Now today i been told i have too pay 46 pounds from december until now and ongoing, for robert, but i haven’nt even earned that december though to march i was on 6 pound 60 plus 180 night shift allowace, for a 30 hour week, then april i went to 39 hours at 6.60 per hour plus 240 night shift allowace, but the csa say i,ve been based on 1600 pounds a month. I did not stop the court order, i can,t , i did,nt change my address or job when it stopped, i did not miss any letters, or try to hold money back.

When i did try and pay i was placed under arrest at first, and reported to camberley police station and guildford. I was legally stopped from making payments, What have i done wrong! i am getting on going treatment for major throat problems, which i have asked for help with, So thanks for that, but this is getting to painfull, no son no money no hope and no one listening, why if the csa stopped my money in june did it take them a year and three months to write to me! and give my thousands of pounds back payment which i can not pay. i will die first as robert winter, is nt my son or called robert winter anymore according to the police hho issued me the noice, if any should happen. to me! please let the above by my statement .

andy pulham the name on the csa letter is garry robinson, dated 20 august csa crewe.

Written by andrew pulham · Filed Under CSA Help 

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Comments

  • Smithy says:
    January 2, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    Ok Andrew this is all pretty desperate stuff.

    It’s easy to say this but it is nerveless true, your son will always be your son as in whatever name he has which is at the moment important to you but the reality is he’s still your son from the moment of conception there is nothing anyone can do to can change that fact. Not right now as obviously he is living with his mother but in the future when he is an adult there will always be the possibility of reconciliation between you and him and you should try to hold on to that as he will always have a need to know who his *real* dad is and at that point you will have a chance to tell your side of the story. If you were to finish it now he will only ever know his mothers side.

    The CSA is a separate issue to your relationship with your son. They are a nightmare everyone knows that and they make difficult situations more difficult but if you can separate out these two separate issues in your own head then you can deal with the CSA in a non emotional way which will be much more effective. In actual fact the CSA is the smaller of the problems as at least they are just talking about money and their agenda is predictable.

    The other issues with restraining order, police and all these things are something you will need to deal with separately and it’s only you who is in control of that but it seems like everyone else is making it pretty clear that you need to move on with your own life.

    If I was you I would re post when you are ready a question on here that only details the issues you have with the CSA as there are some experts on here that will be able to help you with that one aspect of the problem but you need to be able to separate out these issues and communicate the CSA issues clearly.

  • Alice says:
    January 2, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    Andrew, I am sorry to hear that you feel that your situation is so bad that there is no future for you and I hope that you have some support to get you past those dreadful thoughts.

    As Smithy says there are many issues here and if you can work towards dealing with them individually things it might be of some help.

    As for the CSA you will still be liable for maintenance for your son regardless of what name he has or whether you see him or no – I don’t mean that to sound heartless, but access and maintenance are not connected. The only way your maintenance liability would stop is if your son was legally adopted by your ex’s new partner (or if Robert was to leave full time education or reach the age of 20)

    In respect of your current maintenance calculation you need to ask the CSA what wages they have based the assessment on. Did you provide wage slips or did they get the wages information direct from your employer? When you were unemployed did they put an assessment in place for £5? Why did the Deduction of Earnings stop when you were with your previous employer?

    If there are arrears on the case and the PWC wants them collected the CSA must collect these from you, they will usually do this via a DEO where they will collect the Regular Maintenance and something over and above this for arrears, you cannot negotiate the RM but you can speak to the CSA about the arrears and see if they can lower the amount they are taking each week or month.

    From what you have said you seem to have kept the CSA informed of your circumstances and you should continue to do so.

    If you are not able to deal with the CSA yourself due to the emotional trauma you are dealing with at present you can appoint a representative who can speak to them on your behalf, you will need to do this in writing and the rep will have to know the details asked for security when they call so you should give them your NI no, your son’s full name, Date of Birth and how much you make in payments, how it is paid and who your current employer is etc.

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