I can’t stay at my mate’s house for too much longer

August 22, 2013

hi iam trying to get a place to live so I can have my kids more as at the moment I stay with mates an at my mums when I have them so they can have a bed to sleep on been trying to get a mortgage so they stay with me in or own home

I cant get one as they say I pay to much on csa and wont have much to live on. I know the kids need things but it was there mum that cheated on me and and moved someone else into there home took there father away from them messed my life up, and theres and come up smelling the roses he moved in the day she got me out and shes still getting all the benefits.

shes been to 3 or 4 gigs had 3 holidays turkey for the week come home the same day droped them of to me went of to spain for the week. I had to drop the kids to her mum at the end of the week as I had work the next day I have them 3 days Friday till sunday and and Mondays if its a bank hols then iam of work on shut downs.

I have them for the week or more but find it hard to do things with them as money is tight if I had my own house and had them more would the csa payments go down to help me with them or could I get it down so I could get a mortgage as it far to much to rent just need to move on cant do that on mates sofas or at me mums


  • Bella says:

    I feel for you, you’re in for a struggle.

    You’re just getting started with the CSA so from the beginning you can ensure you write down every call you have, keep copies of everything you send them etc.

    Payments do go down the more you have them overnight however you’ll find the only proof the CSA will accept of this is if your ex agrees with the number of nights you claim. Sounds like there is a risk she won’t. My advice would be to go to court and get a firmed up contact order for set, regular nights. This not only helps back up your claim but also works better for the children to have a routine. Go for as many nights as you can. I know money is tight but this is worth the investment. you don’t need a solicitor – there is a good guide here to representing yourself: http://www.dad.info/dad-talk-forum/legal-eagle/10255-guide-to-representing-yourself-in-court

    You might also want to find a sneaky way now of getting her to confirm in writing how much you’re having them. Maybe tell her you need it to make a case for some sort of housing benefit to get help with rent? Depends how switched on she is!

    Other ways to get payments down include asking them for an applications for a variation. This is mainly aimed at claiming travel costs if you have to travel in order to see them but there is a section for things like debts that you are paying off which were joint debts during the relationship.

    Maybe you could claim childcare costs for when you have to go to work when you have them for full weeks? Get your mum to say she you pay her and write receipts!

    There is a section for if the parent is living a standard of life which is beyond what they claim they earn but unfortunately, being the CSA, that only appies to PWC trying to get more from NRPs.

    It’s a real shame but unfortunately the CSA don’t give two hoots if you don’t have a home.

    Good luck :o(

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