I am treated like a cash machine

February 9, 2012

My son lives with me 50% of the year, and I have to pay maintenance, so now I cannot afford to look after my son needs.

When I got divorced we agreed that my son would live with me 3 nights per week, which meant 4 full days per week. I pay for all my sons needs i.e. his clothes and sporting activities and so on. I get no benefits or financial help towards his care but his mother gets all the financial support that she needs. She works full time and has a live-in partner. But I still have to pay maintenance and I get absolutely nothing. I would totally understand if I was a father that saw his son every other weekend but I am not.

It is wrong that I pay maintenance I have my son 50%, its puts me under financial pressure that I now cannot afford to buy my son clothes or save for his future, because I have to pay maintenance. No one should be paying any maintenance if the responsibility of the child is shared equally.

Why and how can this be right? It’s taking away my sons money and it’s looking after the mother not the child. What can I do with this process; it is so wrong and tailored for absent fathers at it needs to change.

Can you advise on the steps that I need to take? I have spoken to my MP but I feel that no one is really interested.


  • bob says:

    I know guys who have their kids 4-5 nights a week and yet somehow CSA can somehow claim they take half the top end csa amount. One guy in particular pays £78 per month and he has his son (7) 5nights per week! He tried to claim child benefit but ex got arsey, dropped his claim, son continues to now reside with him 5nights all because if he tries to make it financially fair she threatens to stop contact

  • Keith Brown says:

    I’m in the same boat. My ex-wife and I share my daughter 50/50. Split like I have her Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday one week, then Tuesday, Thursday the next week. So in effect every other day and every other weekend.

    My ex-wife had numerous affairs, I finally had enough and moved ou. I’ve ALWAYS had contacy with my daughter and have paid my way. My ex gets all the child benifit and I have just as much expenditure with regards to the upkeep of my daughter, as she does. Yet I still have to pay her a couple of hundred pounds a month.

    As far as I can make out, she doesn’t get enough school uniform a month to justify the money. Her sports clubs, of which I still pay half, don’t cost that much. I still have to pay for food and the clothes she wears when she’s with me. So how can the CSA justify making me pay anything??

    I can understand absent fathers, the ones who have nothing to do with their children, having to pay out but fathers like us?? It’s almost as though we’re subsidising them. I know for a fact that my exwife and her new man have just paid for a holidy using the money I give her and my daughter isn’t going with them!!

    I do feel like we are a silent voice to the CSA. We actually WANT to support our children. So why aren’t we allowed to alone, instead of by proxy through our ex partners?

    Can ANYONE offer any advice??

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