I am the mother and I am funding my ex through the CSA

January 3, 2013

I have two children both boys, when my ex and I seperated about 5years ago due to his drinking and other abusive behaviour, my eldest son at that time was age 13 wanted to stay with his father when I asked him to leave our then rented accommodation, I was not happy with this but his father left the home with him and did not tell me where he had gone with my eldest son(the police were called) they went to my ex’x mum’s house and confirmed my ex had gone there with my son

I went through a solicitor and was told that it was Daniel’s decesion what parent he stayed with because of his age and I had no proof of living in an abusive marriage, my ex then informed child benefit that Daniel was living with him, he then informed csa and put a claim in against me because I work full time csa worked out that I should pay maintenance of £45.00 per week to my ex for my eldest son, I put a claim against my ex for the son living with me and I get a flat rate of £5.00 per week, when Daniel reached 16 and finished education his child benefit was not active so c.s.a closed the case and I no longer was required to pay the maintenance.

I now had a phone call and forms sent to me because my ex has made another claim against me saying he wants me to pay maintenance again, c.s.a do not tell me what Daniel is doing e.g colleague or training course.

I have the right to be told what he is doing as my son does not contact me due to his father’s say so, I still have to look after my 15 year son who lives with me, can you please tell me or expalin to me that my son who lives with me does not get the amount Daniel get through c.s.a because I can not afford it as they will not take into consideration my outgoings, I pay rent to a private landlord I work 35 hours per week, whilst my ex has been sitting on his backside for the past 5 years claiming of the Government and he has a girlfriend and a child with her and I am funding this disgusting behaviour, I l know 100 per cent the money I give to c.s.a is not going to my sons welfare but to his father’s back pocket for his drink and drugs fund, and my son and I are struggling and being punished because the c.s.a do not listen to my case and I am being penalised because of the rubbish system.

I would give my life for my boys but what is causing my the utter most disstress is I am funding my ex’s luxury lifestyle and the system are choosing to turn the other cheek and dont want to acknowledge this. How is that fair and how is this benefiting my son who has to see my cry and upset due to this, how is this system helping my son and his welfare, how can I save any money for him when I have to fund other people’s luxury lifestyle whilst they sponge of the Government and get everything paid for, the system needs to listen to each case properly it is making me wonder why do I get up every morning to go to work when people like him have it all handed on a plate to them.


  • Alice says:

    The CSA cannot reveal any details of where your son is living or where he is attending school or college, this would breach data protection.

    If your ex has applied for CM via the CSA they will have checked that Child Benefit is being paid to your ex for your son, once this has been confirmed this allows the case to proceed. If CB ceased previously due to your son leaving full-time non-advanced education and is now in payment again this would indicate that your son has returned to full-time non-advanced education.

    Your case will be assessed on your income, how many children you are paying for and how many children live in your household with you. You are classed as the Non Resident Parent to the son who lives with your ex.

    In the case for the child who lives with you, you are classed as the Parent With Care and your ex is classed as the Non Resident Parent, again that case will be assessed on the income of the NRP. If an NRP is in receipt or is on an income of less than £100 the assessment will be a Flat Rate Maintenance of £5.

    Tax Credits can also be classed as an income for maintenance calculation purposes, WTC will be considered an income to the NRP if this is awarded on the basis of the NRP being the primary earner in a joint claim, CTC is classed as income to the NRP. If you are asked if you are in receipt of TC ‘s and a copy of the award notice is asked for by the CSA and you do not send this the CSA have the right to access this information direct from the Tax Credit database. If the CSA take the info direct from TC database and there are WTC on a joint claim they have the right to assume that it is paid on the basis of the NRP being the primary earner.

  • Gonk says:

    I feel for you…I really do.its normally the father that is being screwed in this situation but nevertheless you are being screwed by this unfair system.
    Whilst Alice reminds you of the way the system legally screws us,it does not take away the fact that it’s unfair.you mirror my anger and frustration about a PWC who claims all the benefits under the sun and screws the NRP at the same time with the csa’s help.I to want to spit teeth because I know the large amount of money I’m robbed of each month for 1 child taken away from by her mother, is not spent on my child but subsidise her and her full time working partner’s lifestyle.
    She claims as a single parent.i have no say in how or what if any money they rob from me is actually spent on my daughter…the fact is the csa don’t care because it’s a tax taken from us to pay back the treasury…it has nothing to do with the welfare of the child in either the NRP’ or PWC case. If it did care..it would make sure and want proof that the money paid to a PWC is spent on the child,further more it would consider the NRP’s circumstances regarding their remaining children or children from their new relationship….seems to me..they consider nothing but the treasury ….I keep banging on I know but I will say it again and again…..no NRP is against looking after his or her child….it’s the way the csa enforce it …..go away…decent ,honest ,caring ,hardworking parents can,and do wish to sort out their own financial affairs regarding their kids…they don’t need you……Fuck Off !!!

  • Alice says:

    The money collected by the csa is paid to the PWC in full, nothing is taken back for the treasury unless it’s back prior to 2006.

  • Gonk says:

    How on earth does it pay for itsself then? How are the staff payed? Ok,from the tax payer,ok so how much does it cost the tax payer to fund this shambles ? Does the cost outway what it brings home to the treasury from its robbing spree ?
    Please tell me what’s the point of this agency if it’s excistance is not to relieve the treasury of money it hands out in benefits? If it hands all the money it takes from a NRP to a PWC and leaves nothing left , but it cost money to administer,money from the tax payer…so where’s the logic? I would truly love for you to give me prove or guide me to a website where It states every penny is given to the PWC,because I hear this so many times but never see any proof of it.
    Perhaps you are right and the way the csa make money out of this scam is withholding payments in order to make interest on it ? And please don’t say “they don’t” we both read too many examples on here about this kind of carry on.

  • Gonk says:

    I hope you can answer my question from yesterday and I’m not just stone walled again when I ask . Where’s the proof that the PWC gets the entire amount that’s taken from the NRP ?

  • Alice says:

    Gonk, the only ‘proof’ that I can off is my word that currently the money collected from the NRP is paid in full to the PWC. I see payments come and paid out and the figures match. I am not able to direct you to a website which quotes this but I am sure that someone else will be able to do that.

    The agency staff are paid by the govt the same as other civil service staff at a cost to the tax payer. The point of the agency is to assess maintenance liability for couples who are unable, for whatever reason, to make an amicable agreement themselves. They also act as a collection/payment agent where requested by one or both parties in the case.

    In respect of making money from payments held back, again I can only give my word that the account used to hold money paid in by an NRP before it is paid out to the PWC is a non-interest paying account.

  • Gonk says:

    I take your point Alice and so as usual I can’t get the answer,the fact it seems to elude me tells me that it’s shrouded in secrecy . I would bet what’s left of my salary each month lol ( after the csa have their fill) that the PWC does NOT get it all.
    Surely it’s a simple question to find an answer to?
    Are there a PWC out there that can tell me for certain that what their ex is robbed of is what they get in full? ie…. Do you get a statement showing in black and white that you get that money or is it just shown as 1 payment ? Is it disguised amongst your total benefits and therfore you could never know what you get ?

    Lastly Alice
    Your pic you paint of what the agency stands for and what it does is all very rosy and sounds good but we all know they are far from rosy and just make people’s lives a misery.as far as collecting money where couples can’t reach an agreement is total rubbish.my ex didn’t even call me to discuss our daughters finance,she went straight to the agency,now if they are a last resort where couples don’t talk ? Then why did they not ask me when they called ” can you make an arrangement with your ex ” they did not, but they did ask me straight away how I intended to pay THEM. I was not given any option.it was left for me to argue the point and tell them that I will come to my own private arrangement with the ex and therfore didn’t need there interference.
    I was branded as being non compliant because of this so where is any sign of them trying to encourage the parents to make their own private arrangment…..there is none…the fact is she rings them and they have their hooks into another hard working parent on the paye system and is now screwed.they seize on a heartache breakup of a family and exploit it. Alot of the ex’s screw the NRP by setting the csa hounds onto them out of spite.some of them just use the kids as a means of topping up their benefits…easy money….the kids are just cash cows.

  • Gonk says:

    Oh Alice
    Forgot to say after being branded as non compliant….they slapped a doe on me .

  • wilf says:

    Gonk:- The CSA provide no other benefits than the child maintenance paid by the NRP so will always be apparent in any PWC’s bank account in which appears.
    All payments made by the NRP are due to the PWC.
    A high interest earning holding account is a disgruntled NRP fantasy.
    The whole edifice costs the taxpayer a fortune and the sooner it is closed the better and then PWCs will have to use the courts to obtain money from reluctant fathers for the upkeep of their children.
    If your ex did not speak to you before calling the agency it is not their fault and if you refused to cooperate when they called for information what did you expect them to do other than mark you down as non compliant.
    You can still pay the maintenance directly to your PWC if you arrange it first and get her to confirm the arrangements with the CSA. Then they will remove the deduction from earnings order.

  • Alice says:

    Gonk – I believe that I answered your question to the best of my ability – I openly admit that I cannot point you to a website which ‘proves’ that the money paid in by an NRP is paid direct to the PWC in full without the CSA taking a %age for themselves to cover their costs – I also stated that someone else who is more informed may be able to provide links to websites which will give you the information you seek.

    In respect of the comments regarding couples not reaching private agreements and CSA branding you non-compliant – I think wilf’s reply covers all these points.

  • Gonk says:

    I accept you points but the csa still did not ask…..CAN YOU MAKE A PRIVATE ARRANGEMENT with your ex, they didn’t tell me their reason for calling was because I refuse to talk to my ex about maintenance…it’s not their fault you said, but they do nothing to try and bring parents together and make private arrangements,it does nothing to encourage parents to make private arrangements.
    As for me being non compliant,all I said was I am not your client, my ex is so ask her since she was the one to call you before me. to find out the information you want…lol..giving them what they want is like me handing the bullets to my firing squad. I do not agree with its unfair,unjust policies and so I guess Id sooner be branded as non compliant than roll over and submit to them,it’s the only way I know how to protest it,it will never change things I know.
    Let’s approach the high interest account myth then….you cannot tell me it’s not held in a account and no interest is earned can you…please prove it as I like to be shown proof then I shut up…that’s the problem with alot of answers to questions on this site…one never gets concrete sound proof to questions posed by disgruntled NRP’s like myself, maybe that’s why we are soo disgruntled ?
    And we all know and read god knows how many times on this site where parents make private arrangements and a few yrs down the line the PWC decides out of greed or spite, to go back to the csa and re open a claim,they then start it all over again and slap 2 yrs arrears on top after a 2 yr private arrangment because they believe the lies about non payments from the PWC AND despite the NRP having bank statements to prove payments….don’t tell me you have not read on this site of this kind of carry on ? And many times, maybe this is all lies and myths ? Maybe just more disgruntled NRP’s
    The csa only believe what they want to believe and 9 times out of 10 it believes the PWC because it’s not them they take money from. I wish I could trust the ex enough to come to a private arrangment but could never do that when she knows like many other PWC they can lie through their back teeth to an agency that will take their word for it.easy money for her or the treasury since they either give her the arrears,so she been payed twice or they keep it themselfs to make up for the 2 yrs they didn’t screw the NRP.
    There are too many disgruntled,broken,destroyed parents on this site, both PWC and NRP with disgusting horror stories about how this agency has treated them….maybe they are all made up stories…..maybe they just spend time moaning on this site purely for the benifit of their own health and the agency do soooo well and help soooo many people? I don’t think so

  • Sally says:

    @ Alice and wilf – some PWCs go to the CSA because they have no choice i.e. the NRP refuse to pay toward their child(ren).

    However, the majority now go to the CSA becasue the ‘criteria’ allows them to claim more money i.e. minimise overnight stays, say whatever they like and the CSA will believe everything the PWC says regardless of the TRUTH OR FACTS.

    The NRP is guilty until he/she almost kills himself/herself trying to prove their innocence! while the PWC is innocent no matter what!!! The CSA should be abolished and the employees should be given a criminal record for mental abuse!!!

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