I am in debt and ex refuses to pay CSA

March 20, 2011

I split up with my daughters father when she was 2 weeks old, she will be 3 years old in 1 months time. I split up with him due to domestic violence, and his lack of support during my pregnancy and once my daughter was born (I say my daughter, because he hasn’t earnt the right to be called father) I was left to buy everything for my child whilst pregnant and it has been the same ever since. He got me in nearly £10,000 worth of debt due to his violent, controlling nature. He used to threaten me, smash our home up, and put his foot through furniture if I refused.

Anyway, I contacted the CSA as soon as I left him (somehow got the courage to leave after 17 months of being in his clutch) he has never ever offered or made a contribution payment for my daughters maintenance whilst he has ‘been’ in employment. He is a qualified gas fitter and was originally told he should pay £53 a week for her. He has only ever contributed just £5 a week, this is when he was claiming benefits with his new girlfriend (who happens to have a child too, silly siily woman getting hooked up with him).The total I have received off him in nearly 3 years, is less than £200. He decided to take me to court when my daughter turned 1, and now I have to piss about every 6 months attending hearings, and last June, he was granted supervised visits with her at a contact centre. He does not have to provide for her, nor does money come in to the proceedings according to the judge. as the financial side of things has nothing to do with this, and my daughter has a right to a relationship with her ‘father’ apparently.

The CSA say they have to make sure they cover everything, and have been writing to him, and phoning him, to no avail. The arrears are currently around £4000 minimum, and he is showing no willing to contribute to my daughters upbringing,but wants his rights to her. I provide everything. He was ordered to send gifts to her to promote contact in the early stages, but he sent around 6 gifts, a few books, a jewellery hanger (bearing in mind she had only just turned 2 at the time) a large stuffed rabbit toy which was mine and i left it at the house when i left him, and a bottle of bubble bath.

That is all my daughter has had in 3 years. The CSA and courts need to join forces and get the scum like this prosecuted and imprisoned .

I do no trust him and never will, my daughter would only be corrupted by him and his criminal ways. If anyone knows of any ways I can take him to court to provide for her, please let me know. The CSA are appauling. I am 23 this year, and this evil human being has tried to ruin my life, but I am starting university next year and I love my daughter more than anything.

Why do these men get their way when it comes to rights, but then wont provide.

When my daughter is old enough to understand I hope she doesnt get sucked in to his coniving ways.

The worst decision I made was contacting the CSA, but its swings and roundabouts, so if he wants to see her and have a relationship with her, then he should contribute to her upbringing. I struggle all the time, and have to list everything down, and have a set budget each week for food, £35 a week we currently live on, after paying bills and attempting to pay the debts off.

I went with a debt management company, which have screwed me out of nearly £1000 for their fees, so I should of done it myself.

Whilst I was working I had to contribute to court costs too, and now I cannot afford to work, as I have to pay more money out for his benefit. He has claimed legal aid whilst working too and I reported him, but they have said the claim is ‘dead’ as he no longer has legal representation and it cannot be looked in to until it gets re instated.

The prick happily drives slowly passed me when arriving and departing from the contact centre, so can afford to buy a car and run that!
I am fed up of this shit now!


  • Karen Bedford says:

    Hi Victoria

    Please join the fb groups child support agencies failings and others too.

    I suggest you get on top of this now whilst its still free.

    1. Contact ICE Independent Case Examiner
    2. send letters (phone calls useless when it involves the CSA) recorded delivery, get names of people and what they do, keep log of letters, calls, names, etc
    3. Ask for Criminal Compliance unit to be involved, unfortunately you prob have to go through the complaints process first, but the CCU work with Credit Ref Agencies to do checks on people i.e. bank accounts, loans, etc.
    4. Go to your MP and make a noise

    Unfortunately you have to do things like this as they dont take you seriously if you dont.

    Me and Lisa (and Sarah) been in similar sits and thats why we set up the fb groups for support and advice.

    I managed to get a large advanced payment few yrs ago to stop me going to Watchdog who were going to film and show my story. So get in touch with Watchdog too.

    Good luck

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