Husband’s ex is not using money he gives for his children

February 4, 2018

This is on behalf of my husband. He has paid his ex wife maintenance every month since they split up (10years) which is shown on all the bank statements as he used to give a cheque or transfer money. His ex wife got csa involved, from around 2011, why we are not sure. Every time he would speak to them each person says something completely different he has had people speak to him really badly as though he doesn’t pay his way, which he does and always has.

His ex stopped him seeing his children and virtually brainwashed them saying how bad he was. We have kept things to show them when they are old enough even though they are 14 and 16 now. He has been seeing his daughter for a year now and his son in the last month this is because his daughter wanted to see him its not been easy.

We have moved to the new CMS for the past couple of years so we receive the annual statement yearly always at christmas or just after. We have recieved the final breakfown of figures to oay for the next 12 months. My husband knew it would go up slightly but he has had arrears added on top which is more than the arrears from last year. He has had arrears now for 3 years. He was told last year when he queried this it was from 4 years ago when he was off sick following an operation and when he lost his job on both occasions when he couldn’t pay maintenance and not bringing any money in, he informed the CSA if his circumstances and they didn’t at any point say he would have to pay this in arrears and it doesn’t say this in any of the paperwork received.

No one gives any straight answers. And I don’t understand how he can be made to pay when he wasn’t earning any money. Speaking to his children they get £30 pound a month each out of the £450 my husband currently pays which is going up to £600 including these so called arrears which havent been explained. The children are told the rest of the money is to pay for food etc for the household- she has 2 children from her current partner so there is 6 of them living in the house the money we provide is for his children only not the other 2 children who are not his it is clear the money isn’t being spent on his own.

She doesn’t work and the other 2 children are not my husband’s children surely we could demand some of this money goes into a trust fund for them instead. We are not there to support children who are not his considering we haven’t got our own children. The CMS/CSA causes so much grief and hassle and reading a recent report there a are a lot of fathers who commit suicide due to CSA my husband has said on many occasions he would prefer to crash his car and die than deal with the stress and hassle. This so not a pleasant comment for a wife to hear.


2 Responses to “Husband’s ex is not using money he gives for his children”

  1. Tim burrough on February 4th, 2018 9:24 pm

    My heart goes out to you, as I am in a similar situation

  2. David on February 5th, 2018 1:41 pm

    Dear Amy

    First, let me say I was sorry to learn of your predicament.

    Secondly, if your husband was not working at any time and he has duly reported this to the CSA, he should in no way incur child support liability for the period of unemployment.

    Thirdly, he should not be paying even a penny toward the upkeep of children not his own. He is clearly being fleeced by the CSA/CMS.

    Please contact me at [email protected] for urgent help with this.


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