How can we make this fair?

January 28, 2015

Hi there, looking for a bit of advice before we take any further action. Me and me other half moved in together 6months ago he has 2 other girls one with his ex wife and the other with an ex partner.

He is on good terms with his ex partner but not his ex wife, he has agreed to pay them both £30 a week which he never misses, his ex wife moved away taking their daughter with her with the agreement that she would meet him half way when his daughter comes to stay as she lives 2hours away, this all stopped when I got with him and she became very bitter refusing to meet him half way and will not pay towards fuel costs which means he us paying 100 pounds a weekend to collect his daughter over the 4 hour journey.

He doesn’t mind going to get her but the money is a strain whilst still paying her the 30 a week on top. We have tried being reasonable with her but she had now cut it down to fortnightly visits because we can’t afford it she says it’s his fault that he doesnt get to see his daughter regularly, but it was her choice to move and is being completely unreasonable by not meeting half way.

He went online and has done the csa calculator and it stated he would have to pay £16 pw. So he has mailed her saying that they could go down the csa route or he could still pay the £30 pw if she is willing to go back to their original agreement and met him halfway on the journeys.

She replied back with a very bitter email saying he was denying their daughter of the money (even though it goes straight into her account) and saying that she wants my finance details as apparently my income will be taken into account if we go through csa? Is this true?

I am on a low jncome I only work 4 days a week and have a 3 year old daughter from a prev relationship that I need to support. He has replied back saying that he will pay half of his daughters clothes/shoes lessons etc if photos of recipes are taken. Which I think is acceptable as we don’t know what the money is being spent on? Also if she won’t budge us their any route we can go down for travelling expenses?

Any advice would be brilliant. Thank you.


  • Bill says:

    The new CMS do not ask for partner’s income details only how many children are in the NRP’s household, the NRP’s gross income and the number of nights shared care.

    They will not take into account the other child he pays maintenance for until there is a case with them for that child.

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