How can I be sure that my money is going to the right places?
I am currently paying child care for my son inline with the CSA calculator and this is an arrangement direct with my ex wife.
However it is becoming increasingly common that she is requesting additional money to meet his expense such as extra tuition, sporting activities etc some of which a have met her half way. In addition I also pay for things while he is in may care.
I just wanted some guidlines on what the childcare payment covers as there doesnt seem to be anything in writing. Also I have a concern that the £200 p/m I pay is not all going to the right cause, can I request some kind of evidence my payments are going towards my sons care? as I find myself buying items for school that I believe should be covered by the payment.
3 thoughts on “How can I be sure that my money is going to the right places?”
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You only have to pay what the csa tell you and that money is supposed to be used for the child’s care and all the extras you listed. If you ex is wasting the money and asking for more I’d tell her to p*ss off. It’s very easy for them to use the child as a bargaining tool as you feel responsible for them but £200 a month is plenty, she should take greater care of her expenses.
You only pay what the csa have calculated ( as long as you are happy with the figure). Anything extra you pay will not be even considered by the csa as part of any calculations they make. They consider these payments as goodwill gestures, trust me I know, I paid approximately £10K in mortgage payments, £3K to pay off her car, serviced it and put petrol in it. Paid £3.5K in council tax and paid all her credit card bills……. Ok I know I should have just paid £50 to have ‘Muppet’ tattooed on my forehead.
Don’t pay anything extra, unless you want to…… but if you are on this site I guess you don’t want to. So don’t.
I know it’s probably difficult at this time because you want to do the best for your offspring, but give it 10 years time and you will wonder why the hell you paid out so much money….. and it’s not for your kid, it’s so the ex can live in the ‘way she has become accustomed to’.
Think carefully, or shall I just send the £50 for the tattoo?
You may feel indebted to your child for not being there. Money is not the solution and you can continue to be manipulated by both your ex and child for the lack of what they see as a deficiency on your part. Given time, this will become the norm and your child will learn one or the other will provide their every whim because you ‘owe it to them’. STOP whatever you are doing. Pay what you have to and no more. Be there when you can and make sure your child knows that they can turn to you in time so difficulty. The chances are you have already tried and the other person is making life a nightmare for you to be in contact with your child. Either way, money is not the answer and believer me it will not make them a better person or you for trying, The only advice I can give is…..time and patience. Good luck