How can I be sure that my ex is being honest?

June 16, 2015

I’m not entirely sure that this is the correct arena to pose this question but having searched the internet there appears to be very limited information so here goes.

I have been paying maintenance through the CSA since way back in 1999. During this period I have never been in arrears and never once missed a payment of any sort. However due to the antics of my ex wife I have not seen my child for more than five years now.

When I say antics, it boils down to the fact that although they were staying with me every weekend and for all of their school holiday she realised that but preventing this contact she would get more money. Despite my protestations the CSA doubled the amount that I paid each month based entirely on her lies that I wasn’t having regular contact.

When I proved that I was their response was “that was in the past, your ex wife says that wont be happening any more” I pointed out that due to the distance involved in travelling to collect my child I could not afford to pay them and maintain contact as well. Their reply was quite simply “your relationship with your child is of no concern to us, we are just here to enfore child maintenance. All of which brings us to where we are today.

Having had no contact for over five years I know very little regarding their education except that they are currently just finishing a second year at college. The question I was going to ask is, is there any way as a NRP I can find out if my child is returning for a third year?

I have a feeling based on the past 17 years that my ex wife will not necessarily be entirely honest and I would fully expect to carry on paying until my child is 20 is she can get away with it. That may sound a bit paranoid but it’s an opinion based on the events of the past 17 years. Any advice would be appreciated.

P.S asking my ex wife is not an option.


  • jo says:

    Jackie, the college will not give out details if the child is over 16 because of their data protection….we’ve been there and got the t-shirt, and that’s with my husband having parental responsibility!

    Only advice I can give is, if the pwc is claiming child benefit then it’s likely a) the child is in non advanced education b) she’s claiming fraudulently, speak to your mp or child benefit office for advice.

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