How can a government organisation have one policy one moment and change it to suit them the next?
May 1, 2013
My ex informed me when we met that she couldn’t get pregnant even if she wanted to as she had been sterilised. We both had a discussion before we slept together that neither of us wanted any more children. She had 2 children and I have one who I devote all my time and love to even though I am the NRP and we were both happy with that. Within a couple of weeks of meeting her she informed me she was pregnant and had told me that she was going for an abortion. Although I didn’t want another child I did grieve for the loss that I was led to believe happened.
My ex had proceeded to tell me weeks later that she hadn’t been for an abortion and had kept it. She did this a total of 3 times and had caused me such upset and hurt as I didn’t know what to feel. One moment things were one thing and then they were another. The Lies were unbearable and led me to depression.
She informed me later that she was going to keep the baby and she wasn’t ever sterilised and by keeping the baby she wouldn’t have to go back to work for another 5 years and could claim benefit, and could also gain a good income by perusing me for CSA in addition. I have felt used and blame myself for being so stupid.
I work hard and would do anything for my first son. I was stupid to believe this woman was telling the truth and accept it’s my own fault however I do not believe the way the CSA deal with things is legally correct.
Once the child was born she approached the CSA, I received a fact finding form and spoke to the CSA and was open and honest about everything. As the dates didn’t appear to add up I asked the CSA to take into account my first son who I have a private arrangement with and requested a DNA test.
The CSA informed me that they couldn’t open her case until the results of the DNA were in and they had opened a case even though I had a private arrangement for my first son. Shortly afterwards she stopped perusing me for CSA. My natural thoughts were as the dates didn’t quite add up she had been trying it on. I received a letter from CSA saying that the case was closed and no further action from the CSA would be taken.
To my horror a few months later I find out that the CSA have approached my work from information they had from the previous case, and had issued be with a letter saying I needed to pay x amount per month and it would be back dated for months. I contacted the CSA and they said that my ex had re-applied and they had sent out another fact finding form and started the process again. I never received such letter, so was shocked they had gone straight to calculating a payment. Despite the CSA using previous information they had not taken into account my first son or my request for DNA and used past information selectively.
I spoke to the CSA about this and they said they sent out the first letter and as they had no reply went straight to my employer and made the calculation. I was shocked and asked them to take my first son into account and requested DNA as I did in the first case. It was a struggle to get CSA to do a DNA test as they said the claim had gone too far.
I don’t understand or see fair why in the first case they couldn’t even start a case until all the information was gathered, and yet the 2nd time round they think they can. Interestingly all the paper work the CSA had sent out the 2nd time had referred to see the enclosed leaflet, which was never enclosed. This happened with the 2 letters I did finally receive from them.
Currently I am waiting for the results of the DNA test, yet CSA still say they will backdate the claim for months if the DNA comes back positive. I have tried asking them to take my first son in to account and they are not interested yet pending the results of the DNA.
How can a government organisation have one policy one moment and change it to suit them the next?
I am not a bad person and if the DNA comes back positive I will pay and have always said this all the way to the CSA. Unfortunately this will affect my first son who I love to bits as what I pay for him a month will be reduced so much as I have him to stay 2 or 3 nights a week. The ex who is perusing me for CSA has moved and has made it impossible to have contact with the child unless I take legal action. It seems unfair that she is able to do this and take away from my son who I have a perfect relationship and leave him financially short.
The CSA although I believe what they do is correct the way they go about it is so immoral and how can they change procedures to suit them.
At this point I don’t know what to do. I guess I just have to accept my mistake and my first son is going to loose out as I can’t afford to make these payments the CSA have calculated and maintain my first sons payments and keep a roof over my head for me and a 2nd home for my first son.
Unfortunatly being trapped like this is the norm, your screwed now till the child is 20, the csa care not a jot about you or the child, just making sure your life is in their hands,
https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/204256966364149/
Join our group, we are fighting for huge change within the CSA, we deserve to be treated fairly, this has got to stop, You have been trapped no doubt about it, its not fair, unjust,
Your ex sounds totally messed up in the head. I had a brief fling with a woman like that, who’s lived a life on benefits and will now be poncing off me for 20 years.
You sound like a good guy and sadly the CSA love people like you.They don’t care about your personal circumstances or health. Be prepared for 20 years of hell.
Only deal with in writing (recorded delivery letters) and request your your Data Protection file yearly.
Sorry to be all gloom and doom, but Ive been in the system since it was first set up and know all about their vile underhand tactics.