How are we supposed to survive?

February 9, 2011

The CSA take their money from my wages every month, I have no objection to paying for my children even though my ex wife has not allowed me to see them for over 2 years and I have always paid, in the beginning more than I should as it was me who went to the CSA as I found out I was paying her too much.

What I cannot understand is that I have my partner now and we have our own expenses to pay out, I had to take out a loan when I left as I left my ex a £200,000 house and everything in it one of my children are disabled. She now lives in the house with her new partner he has his own business, and with benefits etc and disability my ex wife has over £3000 a month coming in as well as her new partners money, by the time I have paid for my loans etc that I had to take to get back on my feet. I am left with £400 a month how can this be fair I dont want hate messages as I am an uncaring father as I am the opposite. After we split up due to her adultery I still took them all the Florida on holiday the worse holiday of my life as I was just a babysitter, and yet the CSA continue to make my new partner and myself lives a misery.

Surely they should realise that I have Rent to pay, and other things as well and then just take out for my ex wife what is left rather than bleeding me dry and having us struggle through life.


  • Karl Garrett says:

    Robert, ….they don’t and won’t care. they will try & make you homeless. I’m in the same situation. Given everything (house/Contents) paid everything (Private agreement & now CSA), and even gone bankrupt due to ex-marital debts, which makes getting loans etc..impossible. The CSA take so much, I can’t afford to see my kids…but thats prob exactly what the ex wants!.

    Like you she is living in my old house, with a new bloke, new cars, holidays etc….. Now we are living in a shed..quite literally.

    Emigrate or go unemployed is my only advice…. I would suggest you check out the CSAhell facebook pages, this is where most of the commets and advice lives ….

    You are not alone in this hell…

  • lyn says:

    I know exactly how you feel.

    As Karl said they will hound you until you are penniless! The rule is you are not allowed to move on in a new relationship or have anything.

    They have destroyed my relationship with my ex partner. They took his house to pay their so called debt. Left him homeless and jobless. The Case Worker told the Solicitor ‘tough thats the way it is’

    His ex wife is an expert on getting benefits, has men after men in her home with the children and has a Son (from a previous relationsip) serving time in prison for stabbing a man at a cash point machine. Now whilst her Son is comfortable in his prison cell my ex partner is homeless and nowhere to go.

    Where the hell is the justice in this!

  • Robert Walker says:

    Realising that there are alot more people out there that are stuck in my position I think it is terrible. There are people out there like my new partners ex who has never paid a penny and is self employed earning a fortune and when she tried to get him they said they could not find him as he was self employed.
    What we need is to all stand together and deliver a petition to these people and the government to make sure that they have to make it more fair for the people who are willing to pay, and get them to take into consideration our normal costs before our ex wives/husbands are able to take their share, then there will be less people in a mess and loosing their homes etc.
    Maybe starting up a facebook page and seeing how many people are willing to sign this petition would be interesting, at least it would be a way of getting heard, and I would be quite willing to travel 500 miles to London with it and put it too the government to get better deals for non resident parents.
    Fathers for justice were laughed at and were shot down in flames, but maybe just maybe if people were not to give up too easy then we may get somewhere on this someone has to fight for rights and is all we ask is let us have our travelling expenses to work, pay our rents or Mortgage, Council Tax and be able to eat and heat ourselves and then let the ex wife have the percentage of what is left, lets face it I know my ex wife only does all his because she thinks she is getting at me and as she was jealous of my new partner what justice is this?

  • Josh says:

    Rob – like Karl said – emigrate. This is what I will be doing next month. I have not seen my 2 kids for 4 years as my ex wife moved hundreds of miles away and by time the CSA were finished with my monthly salary I only had £380 a month to live on after paying rent and could not afford to travel anywhere to see anyone. Like yourself I lost my property which I bought before I was married and my ex wife has a new partner apparently with a good job. Their combined income is 3 times what I was earning and I will never ever make the mistake of getting married again which I could do as I am still only 34. I am leaving the UK for good next month and will never return. The best bit was telling my ex wife she was getting no more out of me. Unemployment aint an option as it will ruin your career.

  • Alison says:

    I and my husband are in the same situation. Although we have 4 other kids here the take nearly 1300 a month for the one child she is “caring” for. She has him at a sitter over night everynight of the week withholds visitation, and will not let him see his grandparents. She smokes illigal drugs in front of him and he was found wandering without shoes last christmas in the snow. Yet we cannot get more time with him or get the amount reduced to make life liveable for the family we have here.

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