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How am I supposed to have a life again?

I am a self employed NRP but have my daughter every weekend and pay via the CSA £350 per month. I earn £30,000 per year

Can anyone tell me the average weekly or monthly cost of bringing up a child of 9 years old?

Taking into account school, food clothing, etc. not housing as I also have to pay for that albeit my daughter is with me less time than my ex.

I supported my ex through University while we were together and bought a couple of rental properties (which she now owns along with our family home)

She is now remarried and wants more money…WTF I cant even get a mortgage based on my disposable income while she sits pretty on her salary £42,000 per year, rental income £10,800 and CSA payment £42,000, not to mention any childs benefits etc.

I have offered to pay half of any costs including holidays etc. but she realises the CSA is more profitable….They need to take into consideration how I am supposed to have a life again!!!

11 thoughts on “How am I supposed to have a life again?

  1. You need to ask for a reassessment based on the figures you have given.
    If you have no shared care nights 350 is 15% of an annual net earnings of about 28000 which cannot be correct if your gross annual earnings are 30000 from which you have to pay tax & N.I.and provide for a pension.
    As you are self employed they will use the last financial year’s figures.
    If you have your child overnight the maintenance should be reduced by 1/7 per night.

  2. Thanks for your replys

    This has just been assessed in october 2013.
    In the past year I have had my daughter overnight 50-51 times which I have been told does not qualify for a reduction unless its over 52 nights. Cleverly my ex arranges holidays to ensure it stays below the threshold. I on the other hand cannot afford holidays!!
    The CSA are rude and unhelpful in every respect, refusing to listen to anything I have to say. Their usual reply is “It’s Legislation and nothing can be done about it”

    £4,200 per year is about right on £28k net isn’t it?

    Are there any figure about the costs of supporting a child? I live in South Wales and the cost of living is a lot less than many other area’s of the UK. While we were married I paid for all living costs and I’m sure it didn’t cost £700 per child per month. this is based on both parents paying 50/50

  3. Daily Mail 18/08/2013 states cost of bringing up a child is 148000 pounds up to the age of 18.
    About 160 pounds per week.
    Google – “cost of bringing up a child”.

  4. Thanks Bill,

    That means I am paying more than half of the costs associated with this. What happens if i were earning £100k would i then be paying for her other child, mortgage, holidays, etc???

    I paid for everything while we were married and now seems I have the short straw again!!!

  5. Vicky,
    I have always believed it is both parents responsibility to provide for their children not just the NRP?
    We did an exercise over a year ago and recorded the total spend on my daughter, we found on an inflated average that is was costing about £360 a month to cover all costs associated with my daughter (not including any electricity, gas, housing transport, etc) so forgive me if I think your comments are nonsense but on a worst case scenario it wouldn’t cost £700 per month at any time!!

    Do you work for the CSA because I find your comments very familiar ?

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