Help needed with the CSA

Hello, I hope you can help.

My name is Davis Williams and I have a child who is 4 years old.

I was married with my wife, but we separated in 2007.

I am currently in a relationship since 2009

Since separating, we made arrangements for me to have my daughter every weekend from Friday till Sunday. I also agreed to pay £250 per month direct into her account.

March 2010 – Dec 2011
The initial flash point occurred when my partner was pregnant. This caused huge problem’s as I did not get to see my child and huge demands for money was demanded. I was threatened by her moving abroad so I would not see my child. I was being blackmailed!

Since 2007 to 2010 I had a horrible time with threats and un-reasonable behaviour. I finally had enough as my daughter was being affected by the mothers behaviour so I decided to contact a solicitor. This progressed to me attending the family court in Holborn, London, and the judge Ordered a prohibited steps order preventing her from leaving the country.

Whilst this prevented her from executing her threat, I was advised from Barnados and the Citizen Advice to arrange mediation

Feb 2011
Attended various mediation sessions, this went well. We discussed our issues and a memorandum of understanding was developed. The original terms was upheld, me seeing my child every weekend from Friday to Sunday.

I later attended Court and asked the judge to turn this into a Court Order to ensure that my ex upholds the agreement.

Things simmered down and despite small incidents, my child seemed stabled and happier.

June 2011
My current partner is pregnant again and things intensified. Threats were made towards my partner and myself. Horrible things were said, I cannot repeat. But I hoped that I could weather this storm.

August 2011
Things got worse.

~ Had meeting with Barnados regarding my rights and advice

~ Joined Father Figure, a organisation aimed at supporting fathers

~ Was made redundant from work in August 2011 but still paid my maintenance (£250). No income. Found new job, considerable pay drop, start date Mid September

~ Told my ex about my current work situation and I was refused to see or speak to my child for the month of August. I managed to make 1 phone call, using my sister’s phone. I was locked out of my child’s life. I mentioned to my ex about our agreement and she confirmed to me that she sis not care about a piece of paper. I feel so powerless.

September 2011

~ On the 2nd September, I was allowed to see my child again. This came with consequences.

~ Mum gave me 24 missed calls from 1135am to 1400 on the 3rd September. Could not turn phone off because my partner is expecting our child any day now and I was waiting for that phone call. When I eventually answered the phone she sat there silent. After saying hello a few times I ended the call. She called back and again, said nothing. I had not choice but to end the call and give my partner another line to call.

~ During 2nd Sep to 4th Sep Found out she has moved home. My child told me. I have not been given address. Been collecting my child and dropping her from Dagenham East Station.

I dropped Makaylah back to the train station when I asked about her Uniform (she is due to start reception) and what I needed to buy. I was verbally insulted, told to stay out her business. Our child being her business. She swore and spat at me, I endured the weather as I watched my child scream. I left the scene without added fuel to the fire

~ 11th September, In front of my child I was insulted and my expectant child was insulted verbally in public. My daughter started crying when we approached the station. She told me she did not want to go home because “mum always shouts when I mention your name” I dropped off my child and left the scene as soon as possible, Before I left though in front of my child I was spat at and verbally abused.

I reminder her about the Court order but this magnified the situation.

That was the last straw.

Where am I know
I have concerns over my child’s well being when me and the mother meet up to exchange our child. Things are getting worse and I do not feel safe around her.

My child is in the middle of her mum trying to make my life a misery. But in the process she is also hurting and damaging our child. I have never retaliated, shouted at or insulted my ex because I refuse to expose my child to that. Plus I have moved on. Got another child on the way and this turbulence will make things hard for my daughter to adjust. She has already shown signs of bad bahvaiour.

I believe that she has not moved on and the only way to help her is my us having no contact whatsoever.

I am a very active father, having my child every Friday to Sunday since 2007, expect when not allowed to see her. I always pay my maintenance on time.

I now fee unsafe and wish to do 2 things

1) I want to enforce the order, because right now, it seems worthless
2) I do not want no contact with my ex and need to explore how to achieve this

I need help.