He shares the care but his ex just wants more and more

December 14, 2013

My partner has his 2 children 3 times overnight one week 2 overnight back after tea, in my view is shared care he takes all local public hoildays a week at summer and over christmas, all there clothes they have at my house i have bougth etc. he pays for his kid but his ex wants moreand more now i feel bad for thinking the csa would be far, because the his ex has put in a counter claim and thats it, they benifit the mothers and it not fair on good dads.

Comments

  • Marcus Lasance says:

    Ally, It seems your husband is being a great Dad and you are supporting him well. In fact your situation sounds very similar to mine a few years back, except I made a private arrangement with my ex and left the CSA well out of it. I am confused about your sentence “his ex has put in a counter claim” Are you saying you put in a claim with the CSA first? That would seem very odd, as the children stayed with their mother for 5 days a week according to you? Can you explain?

  • alison says:

    hi marcus, my partner contacted csa first as he was sick of her wanting more and more money, we have kids 3 days a week plus 3 weeks holidays a year when csa contacted her she told them a pack of lies and they took her side, regardless of they had been told by us, thats what happens when your are honest?

  • Marcus Lasance says:

    Hi Alison,
    Most NRPs on this forum would love to be in your situation and have the access and shared care you guys seem to have and would agree getting the CSA involved was a big mistake when you had a functioning private agreement.. You say the parent with care wanted more and more, but what is an equitable amount? Depending on which paper you believe (Guardian or Metro) it costs on average £200 or £160 per week to raise a child from birth till they are 18. Anyway caring for those kids 3 days a week You wlll have found out for yourself its not cheap. So what is an unreasonable demand of the PWC in your case? Some parents on this forum pay only £5 a week which seems an insult to the child. I mean £5, why bother?

  • Sally says:

    Seriously Marcus… you need your head examined!! you really are nuts!!!

    The fact that Alison and her partner are not being treated fairly is the issue here!!! not £5 a week!!!!

    If you read what she has written, you will see that her partner has SHARED

  • Sally says:

    Seriously Marcus… you need your head examined!! you really are nuts!!!

    The fact that Alison and her partner are not being treated fairly is the issue here!!!

    If you read what she has written, you will see that her partner has SHARED care, they have the kids 3 days a week which would indicate that they KNOW how much it costs to bring up a child!!!

    It is 100% unreasonable that one parent thinks they are entitled to money while the other parent gets nothing, especially in this situation because its SHARED care….

    There are some terrible fathers out there but there are equally terrible mothers who see ONLY £££££

    Alison – i’d suggest you get in contact with NASCA as they are brilliant, they will help you will all the information you need…. good luck!

  • Corryn says:

    CSA dont care about shared care – they base their calculations on whoever gets the child benefit, I bet if the kids went to live with the NRP but the PWC was still claiming CB albeit fraudently they would side with PWC no questions asked. This is the reason that NRPS are now having to pay for ‘children’ up to the ripe old age of 21, as CB can still be in receipt

  • Marcus Lasance says:

    Seriously Sally, read the post and don’t make up the rest. Last time I looked it up in a calendar each week has seven days. Ally says they have the kids 5 days out of each fortnight. So for starters that is not equal care. It’s about a 1/3 care. She also hasn’t said how much her partner is actually paying. So how can you already have made up your mind if they are being treated fair or not??? The problem with people like you is that you have such a vivid imagination. Others might call it prejudice. I try to establish the facts before i make up my mind. If I let my imagination run riot I could assume Ally stole the husband of some poor woman and now she resents that he still supports his ex, who raises their children during the week while they play the weekend parents. OK so that’s not a fair assumption either. I just made that up. Maybe we should all stick to the facts as presented and not assume stuff ??????

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