He gave no support but now he wants it from me

March 18, 2014

Where to begin? In 2004 I had some serious health issues and my ex and I had an abusive relationship. I had to get away from him as he was making my health much worse…. So I had to leave my son with him cause I had no where to go.

So in 2011 his father had no power and was losing his place and had no where to go, I then took my son back. He was still collecting child support from me and I had to take him down in June an make him stop it and pay it back!

In October he came and took him back from me. I filed custody papers but I had to let him take him. In march we went to court and he realized I was going for custody… He went down and hit me for back child support.

I want to know if they will counter act it because he gave no support from February of 2011 until he took him back in October of 2011? So can they subtract those arrears for those months we had him?


7 Responses to “He gave no support but now he wants it from me”

  1. Matt on March 19th, 2014 9:40 am

    Seems to me there is a child in the middle of this but all anyone is concerned about is the money? Effect of involving the CSA and a generation that looks upon children as cash cows?

  2. Gonk on March 19th, 2014 1:06 pm

    Well said Matt. Sadly so many women see the kids as an income and the father as the ATM machine. The CSA do nothing but encourage this kind of attitude.

  3. Joyce Smith on March 19th, 2014 1:52 pm

    I pay support and have no problem with doing so…. The problem I have is he does see my son as a paycheck and he will lie, cheat, and steal from everyone but he doesn’t really provide for my son! I buy all his clothes and whatever else he needs and pay child support! My issue is he was still collecting child support while my son was livin in my home! He payed nothing for him which I don’t care but then when he got him back he hit me for back support! Just want to know if they can subtract the months from the arrears in which he lived with me! We now share custody and I still pay support but very little and still and will always provide and care for my child first! I do not put my son in the middle but his father tells him all our adult buisness!

  4. Law on March 21st, 2014 2:38 pm

    You say he doesn’t provide for your son? So, who provided for your son whilst you were escaping from the “abusive relationship”? Father Christmas? Tooth fairy?

    The fact that you also use such statement like “his father had no power” shows you are power-wrangling with him instead of focusing on your son. If you power-wrangle with your ex, expect him to power-wrangle back.

    In this case, he’s beating you with the CSA, an institution well known for not really thinking too deeply.

    If you read the recommended literature from the government, you are both advised to be truthful to your son so to make out like he’s poisoning your son is unnecessary. The simple fact is this: it takes two to tango.

    If you share custody and he’s had your son all these years, him taking you to the CSA is no different from what mothers do when they’ve been in his situation. You didn’t care for your son while you were “escaping”. Try to take a deep breath and reflect on that.

    You’re both human. You’d probably do the very same thing he’s doing if the tables were turned.

  5. Joyce Smith on March 21st, 2014 3:56 pm

    Actually he didn’t provide for him his great grandmother did…. I am not saying I have a problem paying him support and I am very truthful with my son…. What I am saying is why is it fair for one parent to provide and not two parents…. I have always payed my support and bought my son all his clothing and anything else he needs. My issue is that he made an agreement with my husband and I that we would continue to provide for my son which we absolutely did and then hit me with back support months after he took him back but never once did he offer to provide anything… ie… Money or time for my son while he resided in my home!! I just simply want back what is mine…. I am not asking for his money it is my money that I already provided once an then he went to support out of haste because we were in a custody battle. I had no choice but to leave because he was making my health much worse!! If you saw and heard the things he says and does to and around my child you could understand! I am no longer sick and I work very hard to make sure my son is provided for at all times even outside of support!! I simply asked a question that no one has yet to answer!

  6. Joyce Smith on March 21st, 2014 4:01 pm

    He just got a job in the last 3 years. I always supported all of us until my health took a turn and I couldn’t. He is very vindictive in everything he does. I always have been in my sons life and even managed to provide even when I was ill…. It’s not like I just ran away and never came back his father and I just couldn’t get along and live in the same home! I didn’t have family here so wa I supposed to make my son live in my car with me until I could find a place to go???

  7. Law on March 21st, 2014 4:17 pm

    You now need to ask yourself, if this “money that’s yours” can not be replaced?

    Why do I say that? Because, you’re still looking to get one up on your ex, even though it would appear you have a new life. That betrays a vengeful mind-set.
    That kind of attitude often back-fires.

    Take care

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