Greedy ex may force me to leave my job then it’s the kids who miss out

February 16, 2017

I have been paying my ex partner for two children support payments of 300.00 pcm since we split two years ago,she is also still in the matrimonial home with her new partner to whom she left me for. Over time she has reduced my overnight contact gradually over the two years from myself having them 75% of the time to me now having them only 5% of the time. I have them 2 evenings every week and friday to sunday night every second weekend. I take them on holidays, pay for school trips and any other items they may require whilst in my care. But only last week i had a letter from the CMS demanding i now pay over 800.00 pcm i spoke to my ex who just laughed and said she played her trump card by going to the cms. I am now in a financial crisis as i cannot afford to make these payments as it is based on my top line of my wages to which half is earned by working alot of overtime when available. the issue is my company are reducing overtime and my wages will decrease but the payments will still stay the same and i also cannot afford to support my new partner and her family of 4 children to whom who are now my family.

I have never missed a payment or declined anything they needed for school or home.

I have a great career but i now see no other option but to resign from my position as i will never be able to move on with my life while i am being robbed by a government agencie that looks no further into an individual case and by a bitter and twisted ex that cannot agree on a affordable fair figure and is only interested in dragging me through a process because of her greed.

Thus if i resign both parties lose out and the biggest issue is the children lose out.

The only thing that cannot be taken is the love from their dad.

The system is extremely floored and designed to cripple the NRP or is it just me?


  • King Canute says:

    It’s not just you. I empathise. I’ve had it all from day 1, when the CSA first raised its ugly head.

    Don’t be too surprised to learn, your love can be lost too.

    I would seriously consider going self employed. That would then put you in the driving seat.

    never correspond with the CSA by ‘phone, always write if you have to. Consider using your local MP to help you construct a complaint.

    If it was me, I would end all communications with the CSA.

  • kevin sherwood says:

    No my friend you are not alone .
    The only logical way forward is to work for a business not earning any more than £100 a week then claim off the state .It absoilutely stinks when an ex can decline any form of mediation and that the cms child maintenance service can consider this as ok.They do however reccomend its best for all parties to amke private child fifnancial payment arrangements.If you challenge them on a matter it appears they are unwilling to help .There is no complaints proceedure to the child maintenance service .Done that all you get back is we have recieved your complaint theres no need to respond.
    So you are not alone of course good loving fathers wish to pay for their children but at what point is this fair on the father .20% off the top line of your wages pretty much the money you have left after paying all your bills and no point do the CMS help in this to you as a father .Meanwhile in my case ex partner has all benefitis new partner my maintenance ,and derisory deduction of £6 a week from CMS off my maintenance when its costing me £120 a week .
    If theres anyone out there who knows who can help I could really do with the help .The easiest way is to quit my job as the stress of just getting by is just bullshit .Im doing the right thing to be in work but it appears ones ex can saddle you with this powerful control that only ruins you and makes it impossible for you to get ahead in life.
    I want to provide for my children of course but the financial burden is riddiculous to what i earn and then im paying court matters i have to f=go on as well t=yet this CMS dont recognise them .
    Are we in a equal 21st century United Kingdowm
    No we are not
    Any help greatly recieved
    I hope you find a way forward my friend ive been through this 5 years ,just keep going for the kids mate
    By the way both my children want to live with me ,no ones saying diddly about that either its very depressing very frustrating

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