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If I have no contact with my children, do I still have to pay the CSA?


CSA Answers

106 thoughts on “If I have no contact with my children, do I still have to pay the CSA?”

  1. Hi people I need help what it is I have a son that is 2years old and he will be 3 feb I have not seen him for about 8months now as my ex has stoped me from seeing him it all started because we split up it was the case that I could see him when she wanted. I could not take him to my family even when I did take him it was all ways calling and texting like I anit his dad I pay csa for him and still don’t let me see him she has sent me videos of him telling me he don’t want to talk to me and the ex has slag me of all over the net what do I do and where do I stand as he has my last name to plus she has changed her number so no why of talking to him
    Many thanks

  2. i have a son i that’s 5 haven’t seen in last 2 years, i’ve had no job since he was born and they want me to pay them alot of money back pay 5 years later they start hitting me hard and i was so young i didn’t no what to do, what should i do i have had no income say i won the lotto or got a settlement could they just take all your money an never give it back cuz u’ve never had a job,, how does that work says family maintance says you owe them 40 grand on a fraud theory that was made. up that the other receiptent made up saying u had a big income but me having the tax returns an getting a court date ready to prove that there was never any income,, what you think the judge will do an look at?

  3. Enough is enough, I like too many fathers haven’t seen my son for over eight years. Women want equality in the workplace and fair pay, I bet they get it before a million + fathers get equal parenting rights. The family courts are biased and act like neo conservative Nazi’s. I say talking or protesting does absolutely nothing to favour our resolve, one thing that would change it all is if we father’s united and became militant. Show them we are serious that we would fight against such division, time to stop being enslaved by those that don’t give a damn, rise up, take back your freedoms depose bullshit democracy it does nothing but divide and rule.

  4. I have been recently stopped seeing my 3 year old daughter after getting reinforcement of court order. I have proven to court with any reasonable doubt that I am doing all I can to see my daughter yet I am currently not seeing my daughter and courts advice go for a reinforcement of a reinforcement no wonder dads give up. If a mother is willing to take your money as a legal obligation then they should be forced the same way C.S.A force you to make payments, to force the MOTHER to allow dad to see there kid. If mothers refuses this after in in court proving without any doubt they wanna see there child and kept taking mother to court. C.S.A should stop and then these mothers that stop the good fathers seeing there kids would change there tune so they could start getting there money again.

  5. Hi this is for Adam. I’m really sorry mate, women are evil creatures.
    Me ex has taken my two children’s across the country, I have no idea where to. I have no contact with them as she says I left her and them.
    I’m now married, have twins who are two but my ex calls on witheld number telling me she can make my life hell, anytime she wants. I pay her £300 a month and she wants to go through cms and i all have to pay another £60 a month because I got married. Can she do this? I always pay on time

  6. Hi I was just wondering where my partner stands.
    My partner has a son who is now 6, hasn’t seen his son since he was 1. His ex refuses to let my partner see his son. He has tried so many times. He doesn’t know what else to do? Any suggestions? He doesn’t know if someone else has adopted his son? How will he know?
    He pays faithfully every single month, he works 60 hours a week, has a beautiful home and no other children, so why wouldn’t she let him see his son?
    Can anyone explain where he stands?

  7. My ex wife submitted her divorce papers and declared she would not be making any court orders for child maintenance, and would not be seeking child support.This document was signed and witnessed on oath. In view of this document I agreed for her to receive an extra £20.000 in equity from the marital home in lieu of child maintenance. In closure of our divorce it was agreed and signed by both parties that we would have no further claim of any kind against each other financially or property based. This was signed off by the Judge. Two weeks later my ex claimed CSA, they in turn said they weren’t bothered what the court said. I spent a fortune (to me anyway) in divorce solicitors and at present I am now paying twice for CSA the £20k and monthly payments which I feel is unfair. Does anybody know what authority a court divorce paperwork has on CSA payments? CSA won’t answer and I cant afford more solicitors fees.

  8. I feel like a second class citizen, I am 8 months pregnant and about to go on maternity leave. I am usually the main bread winner but while I am off work, we will be living off my husbands salary alone. Last year he didn’t earn enough to pay tax and the SMP won’t even cover our mortgage but because I earned a decent salary last year, we won’t get any help. My husband has a responsibility to me and his unborn daughter but this does not seem to make any difference, they prefer to favour the ex. For some reason, this country nurtures bad behaviour. His ex would love to screw him for every penny that she can. 1/4 of his meagre salary will have to go to her and a child that the ex refused to let him see. She got pregnant intentionally so she could get a bigger benefits house and has even admitted she only put his name on the birth certificate so she could claim from CSA. This is so unfair and puts me in a position where I have no choices and neither does my child. My child will have to go without, as there is only so much money to go around and at the end of the day, the mortgage, bill etc need to be paid. Her toys and days out will be the compromise. Yet his ex has made the decision to refuse access, lying in court and saying he is an alcoholic, takes drugs and is violent. None of this is true but it is up to him to prove it. All his concerns were ignored, they didn’t follow up a single one. If she decided not to use contraception and to refuse him access, then why is it his responsibility to pay for the child. He has bought presents (they were sold or returned) and given her more than one phone with credit, so that he can at the very least hear how his son is doing. Nothing, the credit was used to order take always and then the phone was sold. This is not justice. We have laws to protect women in the work place, to prevent racism and discrimination but not to protect fathers, who have been lied and cheated to. He wants the chance to be a good father, she wouldn’t allow him to be one to their son and she is preventing him from being one to our daughter. Our only choice is for him to give up work and live off my salary. While I said earlier my salary is ok and I am the main bread winner, it is not enough on its own. My hands are tied, if I want to be a mum to my daughter and give her a year of my life while she is under 1, fragile and in need, I can’t do it, because the government only support the interests of separated mothers. They made the decision, not all women are victims. I am ashamed to be ‘British’. This subject needs more attention, it is shameful it can happen in this day and age and the new CSA laws being brought into play just make it worse. I know full well that my husbands ex will intentionally refuse a family order so he has to pay more, it is an easy way to punish him further. If he turned up on her doorstep and hit her, the police would get involved yet she is using his child to continually inflict pain and hurt upon him and no one cares.

  9. I have not seen my two boys in 13 years and I pay child support where are my father rights this is a load of crap she has told me to pay child support and that’s all they want she has made me look like a bad father and her husband is the best thing ever what I’m going this for my oldest son hates me because of my ex

  10. I’m in the same boat, 3 kids who all hate me as they have been poisoned against me by The evil cunt and the weasel she was having an affair with. Iv been made out to be a bad dad and not getting the opportunity to be a father to my kids.who are 16-14 and 11

  11. Im not being put on birth certificate but have had a peace of mind dna test and know my 2 month old son is mine.
    She takes drugs and has been violent to me believe it or not.
    She threatens me with her friends and family, ive had enough.
    On the verge of a breakdown

  12. hi i just want to know if the csa can take money from my benefit without any proof that im the father. i dont have anything to do with the child,i wasnt present at the register office when she registered the child,i dont have birthday times or xmas times with the child and i dont spend any time with the child. i certainly didnt know about a child being born(i wasnt told by the mother). im not bothered about taking a dna test but surely if they (csa)have no proof whatsoever that im the father then they must be breaking the law with regards to taking money out of my benefits..if you commit a crime then the law enforcement need 100% proof to punishish you for it but in the csa case they dont need proof to prove your the father,they only go on word of mouth from the mother.

  13. Hi… I’m not sure if anyone can help but my partner has not seen his son for 5 years. The mother has now remarried…. He was paying saying despite not seeing his son. However, last year, she has cancelled his payments through the CSA??!!!! How can she have done this????? We are very confused how a mother can legally cancell these payments??

  14. i love the fact women are portraid as evil yet alot of fathers wont own up to the real reason they cant see their kids. I dont claim csa for my 3 although i wish i did but their dad hit, punched, spat, pinched, pulled hair, ripped hairm dragged them bu their hair, made them drink liquid soap, trashed their rooms, ripped their clothes, smashed their toys, called them names, threatened them but will never admit it but isnt allowed to see the kids as court made sure of that.

    perhaps some of you have known women who are just down right nasty but we are not all like that, my eldest has tried to kill herself because of what their father did. is that acceptable to you. i worry if a cliam csa he will try to gain access again even though he is a clear danger to his children

    whats your advice on this

  15. I understand there are some evil women, making their ex bad in the eyes of children. But no one mentions the case when father is really bad, did not want to be on child’s birth certificate, has never paid a penny, threatened do not look for him with CSA, and requests seeing a child once a year… out if curiosity, I presume. Or to manipulate child’s mother. Should he still have the right to see the child?

  16. So, what if the father has decided that he doesn’t want to see his kids? Does he still have to pay maintenance for them?

  17. Am in that boat of paying maintenance, ex thwarting every effort to see my 14 yr old. She’s acting out because of it, Doesnt matter what I say or do, I’ll be the bad guy. Ex has re-partnered. So now I get the privelege of paying while watching some other guy father her. I would not allow any male a few years back t cop out and walk away (my child was younger then) and I fought and fought through the system just to get normal access granted to her. I won, as the ex couldn’t be bothered attending any of the mediation sessions. I no longer have the time effort or energy to fight this battle, and whats more the 14 yr old has a lot to say (thanks to mums coaching). Yet I’m just ‘playing the victim’ if I say anything. No wonder people take matters into their own hands as I tell you what, am very close to reaching this tether myself.

  18. I once was a mother. I once was a friend.
    But ever since the split, he turned my only son against me.
    He was always the aggressive dominant narcissistic sick twisted bastard who had time and money on his side. His actions have landed him a criminal record but he blames me for it. He threatened me with my livelihood if I came anywhere near the house and kept the lion’s share of our finances. And please do not judge me if I feared this because we all know how the law always gets things right, right? He had the judge eating out of his hand because he has acquaintances in high places. And if all that wasn’t enough he took custody of all the savings I had put by for my son and I am sure that part of the reason that he won’t let me see my son is because I would have my travel expenses deducted from my payments to him. Not that he needs the money he merely does this to torture me. I have maintained confidentiality at all times throughout the divorce proceedings but he ensured that my son had his ‘coaching’. So not wishing to ruin his educational chances by being continually dragged into stuff and be ranted-at by his nasty father. I have made the decision to sacrifice seeing my son while he is going through his exams. I haven’t seen my son for almost 4 years. I am totally heartbroken and don’t know how to deal with it at times.

  19. i too am in this situation after recently leaving my wife i have a 6yr old son for the first few weeks she wouldnt allow me to see him at all then out of the blue it was supervised contact only! why i dont know because she was happy enough to go out and leave me with him when i was there she asked me to reconsider our relationship and because i dont want to go back now she has stopped me seeing my son again was always a saturday i saw him and now all of a sudden she is busy on a weekend ????i am working full time and intend to take things as far as possible she sees how much my son loves me and she doesnt realise that its hurting him by doing what she is worst thing is she is going for nights out and letting her other kids father look after my son according to the law i share all parental responsibility and was just wondering if i could actually get charged for anything if i was to just take him and have him live with me? i mean if i have shared parental responsibilty then as long as he is in no danger then surely the police cant charge me for anything anyone who knows anything about this could u please give me advice

  20. Alex, thank you for your comment. I split up with my violent ex partner when I was pregnant and he demanded contact with my son, but I didn’t let him because he sent us to A&E and nearly killed me and my unborn child. When I got pregnant I was employed on a temporary contract but persuaded my parents and I that he would look after us financially. Of course that never happened and he has now told CMS that he is not the father despite demanding contact when he was born and calling me so much I had to change my numbers. Since the murder-suicide attempt I have paid to put a roof over our heads, paid for everything the baby needs on my own and with the help of my family but they have done all they can. I now need the maintenance money but I am afraid that he will feel he’s entitled to contact with the baby just because he is paying 12% of his earnings to help with the cost of the child. These posts are so disturbing – full of men speaking like they are entitled to contact just because they pay maintenance. Entitlement and belief that women are evil are often the set of beliefs that violent men use to justify violence against women and children. This is very disturbing.

  21. My partner has 2 children his ex has stopped him from seeing the children she has remarried and turned the children against him they now don’t want to see him he pays a private agreement to her but now she said she is goin to the csa for money it’s not far even though she has married does he still have to pay csa even though he doesn’t see the children.

  22. Well my ex because he has just decided to start paying csa is demanding to see the kids even though he is on the register for child porn but I’m ablidged to let him see the kids it makes me so upset and angry I have to be there to supervise as well which makes life so uncomfortable so no it’s not always the women thank you men should admit the reasons why the women had to act the way she did

  23. Me and my ex wife split up years ago and she moved them down south 300 miles away , me being a good dad didnt let this get between me and my kids and i travelled down to devon every 2 months when i had saved up and everything was fine . Then early this year the csa contacted me and ive been paying £276 every month since which is the money id normally spend on going to see them . Ive not seen them since as i cant afford it no more .i paid there mobile phone bills as well as csa but now there contracts are up ive cancelled them .there mum is now refusing them to give me there landline number saying i should pay there mobiles too on top of csa , any help would be appreciated .

  24. My wife had an affair when my child was 1 and left me without knowing,I had to find when her friend to me she lied in court about me supreme supreme they believed her. I couldn’t mention the affair so it was he’ll the new fella she makes my daughter call dad , I had to go through he’ll to see her but don’t no where she lives or what she is like but suprise suprise she wants cma I offer to come to arrangement but she declined she told me 8n beginning I on want anything off you the new fella will pay well seems like the romance is strained the promises going. WOMEN TODAY are worse than men they use the law for profit the cma don’t care about kids just listen to liberal people talking nonsense I can’t wait for a revaluation to sort out law in the UK once and for all I wanted to kill my self I feel prisoner to my ex and cma men have no rights I could even bring up she was a drug taker and dealer before I met her

  25. I havent seen my daughter for 2 and half years its hard really hard not seeing my daughter and theres many more in my position csa is a nightmare i know my ex is doing what she can not letting me see my daughter and answers for her.
    The rite thing guys is i think we should protest i havent done nothing wrong and hope you guys havent so i do think we should stand together and be counted i have had councelling i really found it hard am ok now but this shouldnt be happening at all we all good people and all we want is to be there for them so i would like your feed back .

  26. Well I’m a Woman who’s child was taken off me by by 6″ ft ex husband whilst he had a temper tantrum . the police were called and told me I could do nothing!
    I went to court and tried fighting for my son and iv given up now after loosing my job nearly loosing my home and now iv lost my one year old son!
    Men are just as bad as women spiteful and selfish using children in an attempt to gain power over their ex partners !! Its digusting my ex has demanded sex and money from me in order for me to see my son .
    Iv completely cut off from him.
    I will explain all to his son when he is old enough to understand and I hope he will find me .
    Until then I’ll carry on moving on and enjoying life scumbags like that hope you crumble and fail .
    Shame he chose the wrong woman as I’m more motivated to be happy and follow my dreams than ever before .

  27. Advice to all including myself choose wisely regarding a spouse someone who is of good character , no person who is a good person takes and uses children in order to gain what they want.
    And men are no different in fact some are worse .
    My son was 7 weeks old when he took him in the middle of the night I felt suicidal my bond was so close to my son .
    That was the day I ended my marriage and never looked back .
    It is a shame that my ex has custody over my son as I know that he won’t have good morals that’s my only concern but it is out of my hands now .

  28. I pay £160 per month to my ex for a son that I have no contact with because his father from the very beginning has tried and succeeded to turn my precious son against me. He also has no contact with my family. It has been three years now since he left his family home to move with his father, he had just turned thirteen went to his fathers for a holiday and did not return. Three weeks later I had a phone call from the Csa requesting my employment details for me to pay maintenance. I have been searching the internet for answers and found very little women with this problem only men just insulting women to the core. It’s hard searching through having to read all this. I want help with who I can go to too find out if and when my son stops full time education as I ain’t gonna get it from the CSA the amount of bullshit and mistakes that come from them is unbelievable, they have had my wrong employer they have had me respond to letters saying that I don’t pay they wreckon my ex has more children that he is supposed to be paying for and they sent the threading letters to me. I cannot contemplate communicating with them. Awful. I pay by direct pay so they are not involved in the movement of payments. I’m used to paying and looking after my son this is why I continue to pay for him. The thought of not contributing towards his lifestyle or education or savings would hurt me more although this will stop when he leaves full time education. At the moment I hate my life truly nothing makes it better not even sex. I’m under a counsellor who I see every month because it’s like grieving for someone. I hate it. The only way to move forward is to accept but I keep getting reminded of how he should deal with the situation when I couldn’t give a flying fuck. I would like to disappear from them all but like I said I’m in counsellling dealing with that shit. So if anyone could help with finding out a way of finding if my child is in or not in education please let me know.

  29. Hi Rel

    I found this site as I desperately needed help.

    Firstly, your local authority’s education dept will have a record of where your son is attending school or whether he is not attending including details if he has moved away.

    My 15 year old daughter went on holiday in January with her father, second time in 10 years. I haven’t seen her since. He has claimed child allowance and now through CMS to whom he owes over £2500.

    I left the relationship because of his physical and emotional abusive behaviour and I believe he is coercing and manipulating my daughter. I feel powerless to do anything.

    Don’t know where to go or what to do.

  30. I’ve been fighting for just over 3 years to see my children got a 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter,I walked out when my daughter was 3 months old constantly rowing all the time it wasn’t fair on my eldest,had the children all the time for 6 months after that till she met someone else then access stopped so went to court,I’m ex army 2 tours of Iraq and 3 of Afghanistan in the infantry this got used against me all the time in court but only got supervised access I pay maintenance but I can’t cope anymore limited time because she’s bitter I left her and been in the military, she had a baby in January with her new partner so text her saying congratulations hoping I’d get more access just sent me abusive text,I’ve know cancelled everything this afternoon I’ve thrown in the towel I like a good fight but over 3 years is to much and already spent over £9000

  31. The whole system sucks. My kids Dad is a total waste of space hes on benefits but works on the side doesn’t give me a penny and won’t see the kids. I finally left him when after 7 years I realised we were all better off without the nasty horrible looser. He’s seen them about twice in 2 years after me begging coz I never wanted my kids not to have a Dad. I now have a lovely boyfriend who has a son but the mother is such a jealous evil twisted bitch she’s doing everything she can do stop him seeing him He pays maintenence and tries everything he can but all she does is play games and tells him an hr before he’s about to pick him up they’ve gone out etc. She’s turned her son against me and is turning him against his Dad. She’s twisted and mentally unstable. He’s not got much money and has chased her and has t put up with all this shit for a few hrs every now and again when she decides she’ll let him see him, where as my ex walks around care free drinking beer all day paying jack shit. .the whole system stinks. Decent father’s don’t stand a chance and women like me struggle on our own while the fathers walk around without a care in the world.

  32. I Have just read his as my little boys dad is running me down yet again and our little boy is 6..i am older and he has never helped raise our child…yet I let him see him and he has never paid a penny..now he is running me down all the time all over facebook etc to get his own way…not all woman are evil or out to get money….please if you put the wife or woman you were with..it’s them..not all woman..you had a bad run in with a woman or two..we are not all the same..like men are not all the same..I love my child and he is a blessing..and his dad does not much at all in his life..i know a lot of you dads will always want to see your children and rightly so..as this affects the children and not just adults..after all we are adults so should behave like adults..for the sake of the children if not anything else.

  33. I have a 5 year old that the court gave to the abusive father and now I havent seen her in almost a year. He has hurt her and court failed to protect her. They made her live with him while I watched her crying over and over again. Now he has made it so I cant see her. He is not a good person, but the court will never see or believe it. Stop saying women are evil when only some are because theres a lot of evil men too. There is just evil people. I miss my child so much and she misses me. I did not do anything wrong but try to protect her from more abuse. I believe my child and know she was telling the truth because he was my abuser. Children rarely ever lie about abuse to begin with. She is too young to have made up the detail she did so I know she is telling truth. He does not care if he hurts her. He only wants power and control. He does not even love himself. He does not love her. He just wants control over her as a piece of property.

  34. Your so right farthers are treated like the bad guys when it’s the mothers that won’t let them see the kids it’s unbelievable how this shit still go’s on in this day and age if the mother refuses contact then the father shouldn’t have to pay until she lets let see there kid

  35. This is exactly what should happen if all the victims of the ex’s and csa band together we could force the government’s hand on this matter

  36. My son his ex and there sons Billy 8 an max 5 moved to Spain 2 years ago she went a month befor with sons he went a month after becos he was there with her furniture. He had been there for 2wks when she kicked him out he had to come bk to England he as not seen or spoke to his sons for 2year she’s stop all contact from us all but she wants child support of him wen she don’t live over ere an she won’t let him have any contract they 10 an 7 now Christmas birthdays nothing local mp cart help what do wi do he as to go over to Spain get a solicitor over there pay £3,000 to go to court over there.

  37. Hi i have just had a letter stating that i need to start paying for my daughter i havent seen her for 5yrs as the mother has kept her away and doesn’t want me to see her iam not paying if i dont see her where do i stand please

  38. Hi
    My husband is paying £466 a month csa,
    His ex wife won’t let him see his son because she will lose money.
    When we took her to mediation she told them he was a drunk and druggy
    And the reason she left was because he was Physically and emotionally abusive.
    She didn’t mention she had been having an affair for months and ran off with the bloke taking his son,
    Or that he had spent 15 years in the Navy and of their 4 year marriage he had spent 2 of the deployed only home for short burst for a month or so
    Neither did she mention she had been divorced in ground of Adultery.
    My husband was so shocked and upset by what the mediator had said and the tone she had used saying I suppose you’re going to deny it. That he didn’t say anything to defend himself.
    My husband works as an train engineer so drug tested regularly and Breathalysed even more regularly.
    And in the time we have been together I’ve never heard him raise his voice never mind his fist.
    Any idea where we should go from here.

  41. Kerry go back to work and get him as a house husband. Then she is entitled to nothing as he earns nothing.

  42. Keep a record of everything at one point the kids will come and ask why, court papers solicitors everything
    And complete record of her texts emails and how much she was paid.
    Kids become adults and they will see

  43. They are well within their right to close a case
    But put the money away as they can come back

  46. No as long as you have joint Parental responsibility and you have adequate set up and everything he needs then she’ll have to take you to court to getting back

  47. You Circumstances are awful. But you are angry at the wrong people
    Blame all the parents out there that blame Domestic abuse and lie and cheat causing a complete Collapse of the system.
    What these people don’t know is that because of their behaviour using kids as weapons for Revenge and money that really parents are not getting to have a relationship with their parent, and personal I feel that the sooner that people start getting charged with
    Alienation which is coming on the child abuse the better.

  50. decent parents are screwed everyday
    Because of the parents using their kids as weapons and income,
    My husband pays £466
    Every 4 weeks
    And his ex stopped him seeing his son and saying he was emotionally and physically abusive and a druggie and an alcoholic 3 days after he told everyone at a party he was getting married.
    My husband is a good man with a good job
    And we have a good life with my son who is a 11,
    I will add my ex has our son regularly and pays £200 a calendar month,
    That won’t change or go up as he has a right to a life too with his partner and her 2 children
    And her 2 child see their dad regularly
    Life is easier the people that need help and support would get it if the Lying cheating manipulative parents just stopped

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