Ex works cash in hand so CSA can’t touch him

April 7, 2011

I have a 6 year old daughter with my ex partner, we were never married but he still took me to court for access, which was granted, despite the fact that he refuses to pay child support. I have contacted the CSA several times over the years to try and get some form of contribution, because he is working cash in hand (and essentially tax free)for his father there are no earnings that they can deduct from. I have reported him for tax fraud and nothing has happened. I also cannot take him to court myself apparently because we were never married.

What am I supposed to do in this situation? Am I able to ask the family courts to help in this matter? My ex is sickening because every time I ask him about it he just laughs at me, I don’t eat properly so that our daughter can have what she needs. Yet he can sit in the pub and smoke drugs and get away without paying a penny.

My ex has made false allegations against me on a few occasions saying that my daughter is at risk of domestic violence which have always been disproved, he uses our daughter as a weapon constantly to hurt me, is always late after contact, I would appreciate some advice on how to deal with this monster bully please?

Thank you


  • Karen says:

    Yep went through similar,

    Family courts wont help or get involved in that.

    You need to the criminal compliance unit involved (CSA) who work with credit ref agencies, do you have any information you can give to them i.e. where he works, his car, bank account, etc.?

    Also get back onto HMRC not just about him but about the company he works for as they will do something that them!

    Also contact ICE Independent Case Examiner to complain about the CSA.

    Even contact your MP too. Good luck

  • Mary says:

    I know that one — I am from one of the commonwealth countries and met my ex within a month of arriving in London for a job several years ago. He was so charming, had a decent job, talked about marriage, so we moved in together and I fell pregnant. That’s when things changed..

    He had not been drinking at all when I met him because he had had a problem in the past with drinking. Suddenly, he was drinking again — A LOT — 15 to 20 pints in a session, which he siad was alright since it was not hard liqour. Also using coke, you name it. He lost his job when I was three months’ gone and the fetus is “viable” (later on I found out he quit), took cash in hand work, and said he would stay home to look after our child and I would work. Also, he now refused to get married, in large part because he knew how important it was to me since my family is Catholic.

    In the past, I also had not met many of his old friends, and now I knew why — the worst sort, really. I saw the writing on the wall and filed court papers citing his abusiveness and drunken behaviour. The place we rented was in my name and he refused to leave so, like an idiot, I moved out to stay with family and start over elsewhere and then had to evict him (he was claiming housing benefit illegally, too). I was awarded full custody but he does not know where I live because I he has threatened to kill me and take our son if I left him (got nowhere with this because it is verbal abuse not physical — and by the way, I was advised against a restraining order as they only tend to piss off men even more).

    I have appealed to his family for financial help, but since he has worked for his family cash-in-hand they are clearly enabling him and do not care. They want to punish me for leaving and do not see that they are punishing our son. They are in denial about his abusiveness. This is partly my fault because I did the classic thing of hiding what was going on because I was embarrassed.

    My son sees him a few times a year and he calls, but it seems to mess up my son even more. My head is finally clearing after years of feeling like a hunted animal (oh yeah he enjoys stalking me, too, showing up where I work, unannounced, etc) and now I no longer even CARE that my son’s dad pays nothing for his support. Let his father continue to work cash in hand for his family and spend his time at the pub. I only wish now I no longer felt guilty for my son given his dad’s behaviour. What I ask myself now is, since I am not obligated to have my son see his father, why am I putting both of us through the pain? Because I feel that a son should have a dad in his life. But if the dad is an active user/alcoholic, abusive, and does not care to be financially responsible, then what?

    I guess I am not being so helpful, and yeah it is hard not to be bitter. GIve up on your ex and move on. Given that his personality type is a lot like my ex’s, he takes pleasure in your pain, so don’t give him the opportunity. Meet someone else. I plan to. Also, find a support group in your community — they can be a big help. 🙂

  • emma longman says:

    i need some help, my daughter is 2 and a half and me and her dad split when i found out i was pregnant, he has wanted nothing to do with her but changes his mind all the time and decides he does want to see her, at first i kept letting him but then he started not turning up when he was supposed to so i stopped all contact wile my daughter is young as i dont want her getting hurt, i got intouch with csa when i had her gave them all his details (address, name, date of birth, were he works even sent them a picture as they said it was going to court) i have not heard anything about court since!
    i fount out recently that he has moved and his mum has moved so now i have nothing on him appart from his name and work, he has told csa that he gets cash in hand so they have told me i have no chance of ever getting a penny! i have been doing my digging and have found out his address but no house number so there now telling me that they cant do anything without a house number (wich i do understand) but they have a picture of what he looks like surely they can send bailifts to the houses on that street or something???
    i work part time and with nursery fees and a private rent house and bills to pay out with every month i am left pennyless, no money to do anything with my daughter so were always stuck in the house or it is a trip to the park, i dont always have the money to eat sometimes as my daughter is more important, what can i do? i have no way of finding out anything else as we live in different places and dont have the same friends, csa are just telling me there is nothing they can do but surely there is???? xx

  • rachael says:

    i have same problem, got 3 kids with my ex and he hasnt paid csa for over a year. Told the csa he was unemployed and was living financially off his partner. Found out that he was working for a local demolition firm cash in hand, rang the csa and was told there was nothing they could do. I also contacted hmrc who dont seem to have done anything because he’s still working. I have had my local mp involved for the last 3 months who has now just told me theres nothing that can be done. He will either have to admit it (which he obv isnt going to do) or the company he is working for have to admit that they have been employing him (which they obv wont do either) what more can i do?

  • Jackie says:

    Iv recently divorced my ex, he’s refused point blank to see our three children for eleven months.. not even a card for Xmas or birthdays. He works cash in hand for his father. Doesn’t claim any benefits (as far as I’m aware) just happy to earn a hundred quid or so for little jobs as he lives with his parents rent free.
    He’s always been smug that csa won’t ever touch him because of this. Is this true?

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