Ex wifes cheats and I’m left with nothing thanks to CSA

February 18, 2011

I have an 18 year old son who left school last year to become a dental nurse. I have been paying CSA for 8 years on a standing order without problem during that time. In March last year they demanded that I start paying by Direct Debit. I resisted at first but they just kept nagging at me to do this. Eventually I gave up and sent their mandate back to them.

That started 5 months of them not taking the money out, phoning me constantly asking why I hadn’t paid them. When I told them that they had a direct debit mandate and weren’t using it they would admit this and promise to set it up for the next month. I would have to make manual card payments (after which I received a worrying call from my bank asking if I had recently purchased £400 worth of shoes in London? – NO!) which I did until September.

My son left school and went into an apprenticeship for dentistry. At this point I read their website and it said nothing about apprenticeships and I assumed because of that and his age that I had no more obligation to the CSA. They didn’t make their usual call to accuse me of not paying, didn’t take out the direct debit so I had plenty of reason to believe that was true.

That situation continuted until 3 weeks before Christmas when they phoned to ask why I hadn’t paid since September. I told them my son was working but they checked and said that his work was classed as “training”. Moved the goal posts then but fair enough. Then they started on about how they were going to take 40% of my salary away to pay the arrears. Worst possible timing as I’d just changed jobs and lost a weeks wages in a paperwork cockup by my new employer. So I agreed that I would send in my new pay slips and they would set up a new schedule in January.

Then the snow came. I work outside a lot so no surprise when I was off sick for 2 days, then missed a further 3 days due to being snowed in. So another weeks wages down the toilet. I informed them of this but they showed their usual lack of understanding.

Well I opened my payslip this morning to find they’ve taken £500 straight from my January wages. After I’ve paid all my bills and my mortgage that leaves me £75 to feed my 2 other children, my wife and myself for the next month. Then I face something similar next month because the schedule’s arrived too. Another £350 to come out next month too. So I’ll just phone my credit card, my insurance company, my bank and explain to them that I can’t afford to pay my bills over the next 2 months without starving to death in a freezing cold house.

Oh and not that I’m bitter but my ex-wife, who I left after she cheated on me for the 6th time whilst spending all my money when I was serving in Bosnia during the 90s has her own 45 foot yacht now and no mortgage to pay. Justice? Nope just proof there is no God.



  • […] of the Child Support Agency doing contradictory things with regards to apprenticeship courses. This example here from a Mr Miller tells of how his son enrolled on an apprenticeship course for dentistry, and his […]

  • Debbie Garner says:

    Your story sounds all too familiar as my husband was paying his greedy control freak ex by standing order when she demanded that the CSA should take over. This was in October 2010 but he resisted until June 2011 and agreed to start paying by direct debit in July. They didn’t take payments either and got my husband into arrears, including they reckoned, 3 payments from 2010! They argued and argued that he was that much in arrears and to make an awful situation even worse, his greedy control freak ex had stopped the children coming over quite so regularly so of course complained to the CSA that they weren’t spending the requisite number of nights (which is a load of crock anyway) so deserved compensating for this and they let her get away with this!
    Anyway my husband wrote in to complain, didn’t get a satisfactory answer so took it to the Complaints Resolution team, had one phone call from them last week and the woman was agreeing that their figures were right. He opened up his wage slip to find they had taken £386 just as if he was non-compliant for God’s sake! He almost had a breakdown, especially as I am struggling to find work and we have 2 other children to feed and clothe! Tonight though he had another call and a much more reasonable woman chatted with him and agreed with my husband! My advice is take it further, there are a few reasonable members of staff working there although it usually doesn’t seem like it. My husband is going to email them again to say how reasonable this woman is and there should be more like her.

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