Ex wants me to pay for her parents as well!

June 4, 2010

I am a father of a young girl (9 months) and me and her mother have split up. She is now demanding £600 a month to take care of our child or she will got to CSA. My child has wanted for nothing, and still will want for nothing. I want to share in her up bringing and be a massive part of her life… I work out of town (away early home early) and my mother has said she would look after my child (stay at my house) the days I have her while I’m at work, but my partner is saying she will not give shared custody of her as she doesnt want her left with my parents (only when I’m at work this would happen). My partner stays with her parents and allows them to look after my child but wont let me do the same.

She is her mothers carer that makes me think that Her mother shouldnt have our child on her own as she may fall ill. Now her father’s flat has become available she said she’s moving into that and I should be paying for it.

I have told her she is free to stay at our own home as it is large enough. All I want is access to my child, and for reasonable outcome on what I should provide.

Will the CSA be in favour of me, the father who wants to be a part of his childs life?


  • chall says:

    Hi Billy,

    The agency are only concerned with calculating maintenance and are not there to deal with contact issues.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall.co.uk

  • Kay says:

    No – they wont. We have the same problem. Sounds like you need to go get some legal advice matey regarding the shared custody.

  • In a CSA Nightmare!! says:

    Hi Jim,

    Hopefully this will help, but if you are only paying for one child, the CSA will calculate your payments as 15% of your Net Wage/Salary.

    If you do have shared care, there are reductions based on the number of nights you would have your daughter each week…I can’t stress enough here, that it is based on overnight stays, and you will receive no reduction if you only have her during the day!! You may find your Ex will block your overnight access as she will receive more Maintenance!! The CSA “Advisors” will tell her this, so be prepared!!

    Best of luck………you will need it, dealing with the CSA..

  • graeme says:

    Why should you be paying for her living costs ? Tell the ex to get stuffed. She wants a roof over her head fine.. she pays for it just like you have to.

    If she is claiming carers allowance because of sick relatives I hope that she is declaring this to the Agecny as well.. as this is classed as an income.

    Any you should only be paying 15% of your income to her.

    Good luck with your fight.

  • Lisa says:

    Another woman out for what she can get, makes me sick, tell her to go to csa im sure you will probs end up paying less anyway, is she not capable of standing on her own 2 feet like the rest of us mums do, As for paying for her living costs does she think your a walking bank? tell her to sort her own life out and let you carry on being there for your child,

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