Ex tells me to ‘pay up’ and forget about seeing my daughter

September 16, 2010

I have had complete hell with the CSA over the years. To the point where I thought about uping sticks and moving abroad on my own as I cannot handle the stress they have put me under.

Thankfully I have met a new partner and have found my place in life, however I find it very hard to speak with the CSA due to the lies they have told me in the past.

I had been having my daught every 3rd weekend as its a 2.5 hour drive to her house and working some weekends. I was paying more than the CSA wanted as I wanted to support her. I kept asking if I could cut it down due to travel, cost, debts etc and was told no. Recently a friend of mine asked the same question and was told yes even tho they live in the same city! I have lost all trust in the CSA.

Back in Jan I set up a ltd business and I am a share hold director. I have not told the CSA as I am currently paying them £130 per month and working it out I would be paying less if I told them.

About 6 months ago the mother told me she wanted more money and for me to drive over every weekend on my own and when I advised I could not afford it and also having another family myself I would not do every weekend, she told me to pay up and forget about seeing my daughter again. I have been fighting this but still going through the motions of court.

The CSA send a letter asking for my pay details to my work address and addressed to the company. I have seen that people have sent in nill accounts due to it being less than a year old but is this just for a sole trader?

Also I have not paid myself a wage only dividends and expenses equating to circa £1,330 per month over the past 4 months (paid myself nothing in Aug).

Now whilst I still want to pay for my daughter I would rather pay PWC less and spend more on getting to see her.

Being the only employee of the business can I fill in the form sent to the business? Also is there a difference in non taxable and taxable expenses?


6 Responses to “Ex tells me to ‘pay up’ and forget about seeing my daughter”

  1. brokenfather on September 16th, 2010 12:02 pm

    Yes, you can complete the form as the employer.

    Dont just take Dividends, you should take £430 pm in PAYE salary and the rest Dividends. That way you utilise most of your 0% tax rate band and you get a State Basic Pension credit for the year..

    You can then declare to the CSA that your net pay is £430 pm and your assessment should be £5pw.

    Dividends are not part of earned income for an initial CM assessment by the CSA, however they may be included if the mother requests a variation to the assessment based on you living a lifestyle that exceeds your income. You will have to see if she does! The CSA may demand you declare them without the mothers request, refuse if they do as they have no right to.

    You might need to expand further on your expenses. If they are the company simply reimburseing you for the costs of undertaling your job (travel costs for example), then there is no tax to pay and they should not affect CM. If however you receive free use of a company asset and you have to pay tax on that, you may have to include the net amount in your income. If its a taxable company car, that has the effect of reducing your net pay so is taken into account when assessing CM (it makes it lower!).

  2. martin dell on September 18th, 2010 12:37 pm

    go to the courts and get a c100 form for access .drag her arse to court for access
    then she has no choice in the matter if she break the contact ordered u will have the police to back u up and if she breaches the order more then 3 times take her back to court ,
    keep doing this till you get 50 /50 access responsablity is both aspects not just money

  3. Brokenfather on September 18th, 2010 1:24 pm

    The police assist you in getting access to your child if the mother refuses to comply with a Contact Order…….

    What planet are you on?

  4. martin dell on September 18th, 2010 2:45 pm

    when u have a contact order for access and she refuses to hand over the child on your access day the poilce will enfoce the contact order so you will get to see your child .the bitter mother will have no choice in the matter.
    been there and done it.

  5. kc on December 24th, 2010 1:35 am

    ok were access to your child is concerned that totally different to csa unless your only wanting more time with her to save csa payments knowing if you spend more then 104 day with her at your home you get a cut which would be outrageous

    man up and take responsibility for your child.

    yes i am pwc but i have been known to complain when the csa have tried taking too much of my childs dad and i don’t agree with it.

    but on the other hand i been at the brunt end where his constantly messed his payment, just to get at me.

    i also been on brunt end were csa make him pay and dont pay me coz they screwed up and noone sees that payment again.

    my ex dont see his child but that’s my child choice not wanting to.

    she has every right to contact write email and call, my child choices not to despite i offered her to and i given my child all the contact details needed to.

    your child will grow up and resent her mum if she tries to stop your child seeing you, your child has to see if your a good man or not and she will see for herself if you really cared or not or your botheed about a few pounds, that you wouldnr miss if she came and asked you for a new dress or shoes so why complain now its you child and if you cared at all you would just pay it.

    she is out of order using csa as her bargaining chip so to speak she a child you baby you made her you gave her life you responsibility so act like it

    , children are born into this world for parents to love and protect and do what is right by them and if you paying up is right then man up and get on with it.

    as for access you have legal rights too if thats what you realy want take it to court if mediations dont work but dont use your child to save money from csa.
    personally i wouldnt trust csa use a solicitor

    ps if the csa court etc want a true figure of monies you hve coming in they can see p60 tax return form etc and if you fiddle them or lie about you income you can go down for fruad so think twice before you do.

  6. kc on December 24th, 2010 1:47 am

    mrin is this about csa money aving or about the child
    do what the child wants
    if all the fighting is upsetting the child then stop full stop
    put your self in your child place mummy and daddy fighting over child how does that seem to the child i tell you how
    child blames themselves thinks its childs fault why you both fight and rather not see daddy if it means they stop fighting
    children dont see it as you and i
    they see your fighting over money for child or access for child all starting and ending with child name and who is right and wrong about your child
    the one think you should alway unit in is what is best for your child
    even if you think your child can’t the arguements dont mean they not hearing or experiencing o this then comes under child wlfare/protection by your emotionally abusing you child by arguing and puttin your child through this seeing you and mummy fight so much and domestic abuse even if its just raised voices in your view its stil domestic and emotional abuse

    stop think and listen to your children they are important not if you must pay an extra £10 a week to see your child, money cant buy happiness far from it. but it help bring up your child, deal with it. like a real man would

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