Ex stealing my daughter’s money
Hi, wonder if anyone knows if it can be arranged for my daughter to receive my CSA payments, (Deducted from Earnings), directly when she turns 18 this year? The reason for this is that her mother frequently doesn’t give my daughter any pocket money, refuses to pay for clothing for her, and doesn’t buy any of the materials my daughter needs for college. My Ex has recently started demanding that my daughter gets a job or makes arrangements to move out when she is 18. This is causing my daughter a great deal of distress, which was brought home to me when her older brother, my step-son, phoned me up saying that he had read some of her diary when she had got into a state and ripped some pages out and threw them in the bin. Things like “HELP ME!!!!! Why do people stare at me. Nobody cares about me. Would be better if I wasn’t around!” Quite disturbing. Her Brother is keeping an eye on her, and I have tried to spend more time with her, and she seems ok, but it is worrying.
My daughter also recently found out that a savings account, which she had had since a child was now empty, her mother “borrowed” the money, and has now decided that she doesn’t have to pay it back?!?! My daughter, (and myself), just feel helpless. her mother earns over 40k a year, plus child support, plus my CSA payments. you may gather I earn considerably less, 23k approx.
The talk of kicking her out at 18 would seem like a joke if it were any other mother, but unfortunately, myself and my daughter both feel it is a serious threat, especially now her mother is seeing someone and makes no bones about telling my daughter, that she is going away for the weekend, and cant afford to give her any pocket money this month!?!?! Just wondering if there was a way for my daughter to take control of her finances when she is 18, as her mother is making her feel like “Cinderella”. (She can’t move in with me as i have a small 2 bed flat, which needs a lot of work, and is not convenient for transport to her college)
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On the surface, the Mother seems uncaring.
I love my teenagers very much, but have cut down the amount of money I give them, they both now work part time around college (as I had to do at the same age). I have also had to lay down the law, and threaten them that they have to do more around the house to help me, and have to follow my rules in the house – and have asked both of them to consider leaving my home, and fending for themselves if they don’t comply.
I imagine your daughter is a typical teenager trying to assert her independence, and will be out clubbing/buying clothes constantly and being lazy around the home – so good on her Mother for laying down the law and teaching her how to cope in the real world. Teenagers are rude and selfish, and have perfected the art of playing one parent off against the other. You would be wise to talk to her Mother and supporting her in her endeavours – or, alternatively, stop using your home as an excuse – sort out your spare room and allow your teenager to live with you. You may see the point your ex is making if you had to put up with the constant strops/messy home and general laziness yourself..